Originally titled 'You'll Never Get Rich' and often now referred to as just 'Bilko'. The series starred Phil Silvers as Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko of Fort Baxter's motor pool. He was always looking for a way to make a fast buck, provided the Colonel didn't find out. His platoon was frequently the brunt of his money making schemes.
The Phil Silvers Show Season 3 (1957-1959)
|3x01 Bilko's Merry Widow |
|Sep. 17, 1957|
|3x02 Bilko's Boy's Town |
When the army go on maneuvers the Colonel orders Bilko to stay in camp, so with Fort Baxter empty he uses the time to form a boy's camp.
|Sep. 24, 1957|
|3x03 Hillbilly Whiz |
After the defeat of his baseball team by the WAC typists, Bilko is in danger of losing his with Grover and Ritzik. Fortunately a new recruit, Hank Lumpkin (Dick Van Dyke) proves to ...
|Oct. 01, 1957|
|3x04 Bilko's Valentine |
When Bilko forgets valentines day, Joan Hogan leaves the army, When Bilko realises what he has done, he follows her and tries to get her to reenlist
|Oct. 08, 1957|
|3x05 The Big Man Hunt |
When two men (who have been employed by a soldier who is looking for the man who saved his life during the war ) come looking for Bilko, he comes to the wrong conclusion, why they want ...
|Oct. 15, 1957|
|3x06 Bilko's Double Life |
When his money problems start to close in on him, Bilko departs for New York, but while there he is mistaken for a millionaire. Meanwhile the real millionaire is in Roseville sorting ...
|Oct. 22, 1957|
|3x07 Sergeant Bilko Presents |
Unable to raise the necessary funds to back Pt Hugo Lockman's play 'Sharecropper's Summer', Bilko persuades the army to run a playwriting competition.
|Oct. 29, 1957|
|3x08 Bilko Talks in His Sleep |
Sgt's Grover,and Ritzik overhear Bilko talking in his sleep and he gives away all his betting secrets. Bilko soon realises what is happening and gets his own back.
|Nov. 19, 1957|
|3x09 Cherokee Ernie |
Bilko goes on leave with Cpl Charlie Whiteagle, a Cherokee Indian, to Tulsa for a poker game, but he gets caught up in a legal fight when a document is found stating that the Indians ...
|Nov. 26, 1957|
|3x10 Bilko Buys a Club |
When Bilko learns that a new member of the platoon is a merchant banker, he tries to get him to invest in a club that Bilko wants to set up.but he asks the wrong man of advice.
|Dec. 03, 1957|
|3x12 Bilko at Bay |
Trying to get to New York, and to save money Bilko and the corporals arrange to stop off at the homes of members of the platoon for free meals.
|Dec. 17, 1957|
|3x13 Bilko F.O.B. Detroit |
Bilko and the platoon go to Detroit to get the new trucks, the Colonel orders him back in two days, but he has other plans to stay on.
|Dec. 24, 1957|
|3x14 Bilko and the Flying saucers |
Trying to keep a date with a beautiful nightclub singer in Washington DC, Sergeant Bilko tries to convince his commanding officer that creatures from outer spaces have been spotted ...
|Dec. 31, 1957|
|3x15 Bilko and the Colonel's Secretary |
When the Colonel's secretary gets posted, Bilko make sure that the right WAC is posted in, but this posting takes her away from her fiance, When she learns that Bilko was responsible ...
|Jan. 01, 1958|
|3x16 Doberman the Crooner |
Bilko discovers that Doberman has a beautiful singing voice but only when he has a cold. So Bilko gets him to make a record, but by then the doctors have cured his cold and his real ...
|Jan. 10, 1958|
|3x17 Bilko Presents Kay Kendall |
|Jan. 17, 1958|
|3x18 Bilko's Cousin |
When the Colonel hears that another Bilko is about to arrive he hopes that he is no relation to Ernie because with two Bilko's at the camp life is going to be worse that ever but he ...
|Jan. 24, 1958|
|3x19 Bilko's Pigeons |
When an order banning the use of pigeons comes through from Washington, Bilko's source of income dries up.
|Jan. 31, 1958|
|3x20 Cyrano De Bilko |
Bilko helps out one the platoon when he is to shy to ask for a date with a local girl called Natalie. But complications arise when it turns out that there are two girls called Nata ...
|Feb. 11, 1958|
|3x21 The Colonel's Reunion |
The Colonel goes all out in his fight against the gambling, so Bilko gets the Colonel to leave the camp to go to a class reunion, but just when he thinks he has a free hand to carry ...
|Feb. 17, 1958|
|3x22 Bilko Saves Ritzik's Marriage |
When Sgt Ritzik plays one too many poker games with Bilko, his wife leaves him, so Ernie has to find a way of bringing them back together.
|Feb. 22, 1958|
|3x23 Bilko the Art Lover |
On two weeks’ furlough, Bilko invites himself to the New York home of one of his former troops to collect an old debt. It just so happens that Carlyle Thompson III (Alan Alda) is ...
|Mar. 05, 1958|
|3x24 Bilko the Genius |
In a mix up over test results, Bilko is told that he has a genius rating and he goes on a course with other test winners. They try and come up with a foolproof method of predicting ...
|Mar. 14, 1959|
|3x25 Bilko the Male Model |
When Bilko is caught in a photograph taken in a night club when he should be elsewhere, an advertising agency spots his potential and tries to sign him as a male model.
|Mar. 19, 1958|
|3x26 The Colonel's Inheritance |
When the Colonel is left $5000 Bilko gets hold of it and invests it on the stock market. When he gets wiped out, he is desperate to replace the money before the Colonel hears about ...
|Apr. 04, 1958|
|3x27 Bilko's Honeymoon |
When Paparelli wins a competition for a holiday to Florida, he is overjoyed, until he learns that it is for newlyweds, then Bilko has an idea.
|Apr. 09, 1958|
|3x28 Bilko's Chinese Restaurant |
When they learn that one of the new recruit's father started a chain of Chinese restaurants with very little money he decides to get in on the food business.
|Apr. 25, 1958|
|3x29 Operation Love |
Fort Baxter's WAC's are fed up with their boyfriends gambling with Bilko, instead of taking them out, so they get themselves transferred.
|Apr. 30, 1958|
|3x30 Bilko's TV Pilot |
A cowboy joins the platoon, and Bilko gets the idea of building a TV show around him
|May. 06, 1958|
|3x31 Bilko Retires From Gambling |
Colonel hall hires a professional card player, to beat Bilko at cards. He is so upset at losing that he gives up gambling
|May. 13, 1958|
|3x32 Bilko's Vacation |
When he wants a free holiday at Dimmeldorf lodge, Bilko convinces the platoon, and the Colonel to go as well. But after they realise what has happened, the Colonel gets his own bac ...
|May. 23, 1958|
|3x33 Bilko's Insurance Company |
A car accident near the camp gives Bilko the idea of starting an insurance company.
|May. 30, 1958|
|3x34 Bilko's Prize Poodle |
Doberman gets attached to a poodle, and Bilko sees a chance of winning $10,000 in a dog show.
|Jun. 03, 1958|
|3x35 Bilko's School Days |
Bilko learns that a new training camp is to be opened at Fort Baxter, Just when it looks like a new source of cash has presented itself, he finds that it is for M.P.'s not trainees ...
|Jun. 10, 1958|
|3x36 Joan's Big Romance |
Joan Hogan is fed up waiting for Bilko, so she takes off for Chicago, and meets up with a wealthy playboy on the train. When her picture appears in the paper, she sees a way of making ...
|Jun. 24, 1958|
|3x37 Papa Bilko |
During the war Bilko befriends a French family. Years later, the daughter of the family calls to see â€˜ Papa Bilko â€˜ as she calls him. Meanwhile the platoon's lady killer ...
|Jul. 18, 1958|
Season 3 Characters[none added]
Season 3 Videos[none added]
Season 3 Trivia[none added]
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