Dan Halen (Todd Hanson)

A small, pear-shaped, kneeless "badger-like" business tycoon. He is the incarnation of evil who has lived since the beginning of time, and personally controls almost every aspect of Dougal County (as well as most of Northern Georgia). He is in charge of Dan Halen Sheetrock International, a multinational corporation responsible for sheet rock, "dangerous" (rather than simply unsafe) baby furniture, selling arms to third world countries, and various other ventures. His name, hairstyle, and company symbol are direct references to the band Van Halen. He tolerates the presence of the Cuyler family for reasons unknown, frequently involving them in his bizarre moneymaking schemes, and currently employs the grossly incompetent Early as CEO of Dan Halen Int'l for purposes of limiting his own legal liability as a result of his often disastrous and homicidal business ideas.