Sep. 22, 2003
30 min.
CBS TV Network

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Two and a Half Men tv show photo

Two and a Half Men

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Characters: #7 of 18 (Full List)
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Berta Two and a Half Men
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  Played by:
Conchata FerrellConchata Ferrell
It took 30 years since it was first predicted, but Conchata Ferrell finally achieved television stardom, ...

Character Bio

Berta photo
Played by Conchata Ferrell, Berta is the maid for the Harper Family.Berta likes to see things blow up for the Harper brothers and she does not like being bossed around or even being called Charlie's "maid". Throughout the series, hints are made at her being bisexual. She has flirted with Teddy Leopold and several other male house guests. She has a younger sister named Daisy, with whom she does not get along. She also has a number of daughters and granddaughters, whom she herself categorizes as sleazy and easy.Occasionally these relations accompany her when she goes to work, such as her daughter Naomi or her granddaughter Prudence. She also have another granddaughter, Brittany Pam which is Naomi's daughter. In season 2 Berta has fun with Alan and Charlie by teasing both of them and saying to herself "My Pets".

Episode Screenshots

03x12 - That Special Tug
Season 3, Episode 12
06x08 - Pinocchio's Mouth
Season 6, Episode 08
09x20 - Grandma's Pie
Season 9, Episode 20
12x14 - Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Season 12, Episode 14
[More Episodes]

Berta Quotes

12x15 - Of Course He's Dead - Part One Season 12 / Episode 15: - Of Course He's Dead - Part One

Berta: Looks like somebody's having a piano delivered by helicopter.
Alan Harper: That's the kind of extravagant thing Charlie would do. Oh, and he had a baby grand just like that.

Walden Schmidt: It's headed right this way... You don't think it's possible that the cops got the wrong guy do you?
Berta: [same time as Alan] Nah!
Alan Harper: [same time as Berta] Nah!
10x09 - I Scream When I Pee Season 10 / Episode 9: - I Scream When I Pee

Walden Schmidt: Happy birthday! [shows Berta a brand new Chevrolet Camaro in her driveway]
Berta: Sweet Georgia Brown! You better not be screwing with me.
Walden Schmidt: No. You always said it was your dream car, and today your dream's come true. [gives her the key to the car]
Berta: Oh! C'mere, you big old talking taco! [wraps Walden in a bear hug]
Walden Schmidt: Oh, oh... there's one condition.
Berta: Okay. You wanna do it in the house or on the hood of the car?
Walden Schmidt: No. [voice lowers] Alan can never find out about this.
Lyndsey Mackelroy: [cut to Lyndsey and Kandi in bed] Alan can never find out about this.
[More Quotes]

Berta Photos

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