Type
Scripted
Premiered
Dec. 17, 1989
Status
Returning Series
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
FOX TV Network
Genre

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Characters: #2 of 65 (Full List)

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Marge Simpson The Simpsons

Marge Simpson

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  Played by:
Julie KavnerJulie Kavner
Julie Kavner is an American film and television actress, comedian and voice artist. Noted for her role ...

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Marge Simpson Quotes

22x20 - Homer Scissorhands Season 22 / Episode 20: - Homer Scissorhands

Marge Simpson: Homie, you sure know how to please a woman.
Homer Simpson: As long as it doesn't involve losing weight or changing my pants.
22x19 - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony Season 22 / Episode 19: - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony

Homer Simpson: Yes! I am so happy I lived to see this day. He did give her the kiss of death, right?
Marge Simpson: No!
Homer Simpson: [disappointed groan] Aww! I decorated her car for nothing.

22x19 - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony Season 22 / Episode 19: - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony

Homer Simpson: Well, if it isn't Before and After. Blob and blob lite. Tweedle-yuck and Tweedle-yech.
Fat Tony: Ahem! Am I interrupting anything?
Homer Simpson: Fat Tony! I was just complimenting your beautiful wife while insulting her identical twin.
Marge Simpson: You'll have to excuse my husband. He says things without thinking first. And ten seconds later...
Homer Simpson: [scared] Oooh! My god!
22x19 - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony Season 22 / Episode 19: - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony

Comic Book Guy: And how do you know the bride?
Marge Simpson: I'm her sister! And you?
Comic Book Guy: I bought her pool table on Craig's List. Consider yourself slighted.
22x19 - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony Season 22 / Episode 19: - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony

Tushie: You two look so pale. But don't worry. Every light here is a tanning light.
Marge Simpson: Can you read by them?
Tushie: You know, no one's ever tried.
22x19 - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony Season 22 / Episode 19: - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony

Homer Simpson: Cant we stay a little longer? The Occurrence and I were going to go get broiled.
Marge Simpson: Sorry, The Occurrence, but to use your lingo, I have to be "that guy".
The Occurence: Whoa, whoa! You don't want to be that guy?
Homer Simpson: I don't want to be that guy, but she's making me be that guy.
Marge Simpson: Enough!
22x18 - The Great Simpsina Season 22 / Episode 18: - The Great Simpsina

Homer Simpson: Marge, how much do they pay us for doing this?
Marge Simpson: Actually, we pay them for each peach we take home.
Homer Simpson: What the...? First I work, then I pay, then I have to eat fruit? Why was I ever born?
22x17 - Love Is A Many Strangled Thing Season 22 / Episode 17: - Love Is A Many Strangled Thing

Marge Simpson: Homer, the game is right here. [points to football field inside stadium]
Homer Simpson: [chuckles] Oh, that's right! I hope you kids are enjoying yourselves today, because you and your children will be paying for this place long after the team moves to another city.
22x17 - Love Is A Many Strangled Thing Season 22 / Episode 17: - Love Is A Many Strangled Thing

Marge Simpson: You've destroyed our son's self-esteem.
Homer Simpson: Well, it was your idea to give him self-esteem in the first place.
22x17 - Love Is A Many Strangled Thing Season 22 / Episode 17: - Love Is A Many Strangled Thing

Homer Simpson: But I don't want to go to parenting class. All the other neglectful parents will make fun of me. They're so cliquey.
Marge Simpson: You'll be all right. You always are.
Homer Simpson: Oh, I miss my friends from drunk driving class. They were so cool.
22x17 - Love Is A Many Strangled Thing Season 22 / Episode 17: - Love Is A Many Strangled Thing

Marge Simpson: So whatever you did to my husband was too effective.
Dr. Zander: Yes, one of the most common complaints about therapy.
22x16 - A Midsummer’s Nice Dream Season 22 / Episode 16: - A Midsummer’s Nice Dream

Marge Simpson: And remember, don't indulge in any sin except gluttony. Save lust and rage for me and the kids.
Homer Simpson: Relax, sweetie. I'm gonna come back so horny and angry.
22x16 - A Midsummer’s Nice Dream Season 22 / Episode 16: - A Midsummer’s Nice Dream

Marge Simpson: I'm not a hoarder. Do the Yankees hoard pennants? Does Marrakesh hoard intrigue?
22x14 - Angry Dad: The Movie Season 22 / Episode 14: - Angry Dad: The Movie

Homer Simpson: That's it, boy! I'm eating your yogurt!
Marge Simpson: You ate his yogurt in the car.
Homer Simpson: He didn't know that.
22x14 - Angry Dad: The Movie Season 22 / Episode 14: - Angry Dad: The Movie

Homer Simpson: My little Roman Polanski.
Marge Simpson: Homer!
Homer Simpson: What? What's wrong with being Roman Polanski?


Homer Simpson: He what? You monster!

22x14 - Angry Dad: The Movie Season 22 / Episode 14: - Angry Dad: The Movie

Bart Simpson: This is insane! He didn't show up for work, he bad-mouthed the movie on Jimmy Fallon, and now he's hogging all the credit.
Marge Simpson: Don't worry, sweetie. It's the begining of a ridiculously long series of awards shows. You'll have your chance to say crazy things.
22x13 - The Blue and the Gray Season 22 / Episode 13: - The Blue and the Gray

Marge Simpson: My first gray hair!
Homer Simpson: Oh, Marge. Don't worry. Lots of movie stars have gray hair, like all those women we loved in the eighties.
Marge Simpson: Oh, Homer. You always mean to say the nicest things.
Homer Simpson: Well, it's not easy with you talking all the time.
22x12 - Homer The Father Season 22 / Episode 12: - Homer The Father

Homer Simpson: The boy's acting really weird. I did everything that T.V. show told me to and he's still not happy.
Marge Simpson: Well, maybe you shouldn't listen to a 30 - year old T.V. show that only got on the air because the creator had evidence the network president ran over a guy.
22x12 - Homer The Father Season 22 / Episode 12: - Homer The Father

Homer Simpson: Hmm, hmm! Marge, would like a ''Thicker Than Waters'' collectable plate?
Marge Simpson: Homer, you can't order anything from that magazine. It's 25 years old.
Homer Simpson: Oh yeah? I'll show you. TV Guide Offer, 1 World Trade Center...
22x10 - Moms I'd Like To Forget Season 22 / Episode 10: - Moms I'd Like To Forget

Marge Simpson: Why do you have to eat peanuts in the shower?
Homer Simpson: Can't start the day without that fresh-from-the-circus feeling.
22x10 - Moms I'd Like To Forget Season 22 / Episode 10: - Moms I'd Like To Forget

Marge Simpson: We used to call ourselves the Cool Moms.
Bart Simpson: There is nothing cooler than calling yourself cool.
22x08 - The Fight Before Christmas Season 22 / Episode 8: - The Fight Before Christmas

Marge Simpson: This tree reminds me of your father. It's round in the middle, thinning on top, and your hands are sticky when you touch it.
22x07 - How Munched is that Birdie in the Window? Season 22 / Episode 7: - How Munched is that Birdie in the Window?

Homer Simpson: Me, the patriarch of a pigeon-racing dynasty.


Danica Patrick: Congratulations, Homer.
Homer Simpson: Danica Patrick in my thoughts?
Danica Patrick: That's right, Homer. I'm contractually obligated by my sponsors to appear in random fan's fantasies. Better not tell Marge about it.
Marge Simpson: You brickyard bimbo!


Homer Simpson: I ended that a little too soon.


Homer Simpson: What they don't suspect is that I'm into this.
22x07 - How Munched is that Birdie in the Window? Season 22 / Episode 7: - How Munched is that Birdie in the Window?

Marge Simpson: A doctor who treats kids and pets?
Dr. Thurmond: Hey, in this economy I'll even remove tattoos.
Homer Simpson: Can you remove my tramp stamp? I got the idea from watching a show where people regret these.
22x07 - How Munched is that Birdie in the Window? Season 22 / Episode 7: - How Munched is that Birdie in the Window?

Homer Simpson: Listen to the man, Marge. He pays Bart's salary.
Marge Simpson: No, he doesn't.
Homer Simpson: Why don't you ever support my gibberish? I'd do it if you were stupid.
22x06 - The Fool Monty Season 22 / Episode 6: - The Fool Monty

Marge Simpson: [to Comic Book Guy, dressed as Wolverine] This isn't a line for a movie. Why are you in costume?
Comic Book Guy: Because you see, I'm afraid of needles, but Wolverine is not.


Comic Book Guy: Snikt, Snikt!


Comic Book Guy: Ow! Need acceptable currency for delicious treat.
22x05 - Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life Season 22 / Episode 5: - Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life

Lisa Simpson: Mom, I didn't know you won the science fair.
Marge Simpson: Oh, that's ancient history. Ooh, my paper on ancient history!
22x05 - Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life Season 22 / Episode 5: - Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life

Bart Simpson: A boy is beating me up at school.
Marge Simpson: Is it Milhouse?
Bart Simpson: Milhouse couldn't beat anybody up.
Marge Simpson: Are you sure? He's been going through a growth spurt.
Bart Simpson: It's not Milhouse! It's Nelson.
Marge Simpson: Nelson? I never thought of him as the bully type. Well, if a bully picks on you and Milhouse isn't there to protect you, the best way to deal with him is make him feel good.
Bart Simpson: How do I do that?
Marge Simpson: You could say something nice about him. Try complimenting his glasses.
Bart Simpson: It's not Milhouse!
22x04 - Treehouse of Horror XXI Season 22 / Episode 4: - Treehouse of Horror XXI

Marge Simpson: Oh, Homey. What a great idea to take a cruise in uncharted waters.
Homer Simpson: Yeah. Charts are for squares, baby.
22x03 - Money Bart Season 22 / Episode 3: - Money Bart

Marge Simpson: [watching Lisa practice fencing to get into Harvard] Sweetie, you could still go to McGill, the Harvard of Canada.
Lisa Simpson: Anything that's the "something" of the "something" isn't really the "anything" of "anything".

Previous: Homer Simpson Next: Bart Simpson
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