Type
Scripted
Premiered
Jan. 01, 1991
Status
Canceled/Ended
Runtime
30 min.
Country
Canada
Network
CBC TV Network
Genre

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The Red Green Show (CA) tv show photo

The Red Green Show (CA)

The Red Green Show is a unique half-hour comedy series targeted at family audiences. Set way up north at the infamous Possum Lodge. It's a show for anyone who thinks God created man to give the rest of the world something to laugh at!

02x14 - The Food Club Season 2 / Episode 14: - The Food Club

Red Green: [referring to the lodge's cantankerous chef's having quit in a huff] Well, we may have lost Eddie as cook, but there is a DOWNSIDE, too.
02x10 - The Broken Water Pump Season 2 / Episode 10: - The Broken Water Pump

Red Green: I don't want to argue with anyone larger than my van.
01x17 - Gun Powder Shakes Season 1 / Episode 17: - Gun Powder Shakes

Red Green: [singing] On a warm summer's day when we're not after bass/We get out the van and fill her up with gas/Pull up behind a car headin' down the road/Pull up so darn close, you'd think we're bein' towed/Tailgatin'/Tailgatin'/Kinda looks like the vehicles are matin'/Tailgatin'/Tailgatin'/Just make sure your brakes are okay/In retrospect, that was an oversight on our part.
01x16 - Lodge Visitor Season 1 / Episode 16: - Lodge Visitor

Harold Green: You should get on with the next segment, I think; it's more interesting than this. This is boring. This is as bad as a PBS subscription drive; that's how bad this is. Next segment's interesting, though.
01x16 - Lodge Visitor Season 1 / Episode 16: - Lodge Visitor

Red Green: If at first you don't succeed, switch to power tools.
01x14 - Wind-Powered Boat Season 1 / Episode 14: - Wind-Powered Boat

Red Green: [poem] It is summer. In the shade of an apple tree, you relax with a mint julep or nine. Summer is no time for stress. You casually forget your aunt's birthday. She thanks you.
01x13 - Whittling Contest Season 1 / Episode 13: - Whittling Contest

Red Green: The tire iron - it's a simple tool but it's a useful tool. Rather like my brother-in-law.
01x07 - He-Man Contest Season 1 / Episode 7: - He-Man Contest

Red Green: We had a He man contest up here at the lodge with first prize being a truss.
01x07 - He-Man Contest Season 1 / Episode 7: - He-Man Contest

Red Green: If it would help Jack, I could like lend you like 20 bucks or something.
Jack the Caveman: I'm sorry Red, but I no longer recognize your currency. It's meaningless paper, a useless symbol of a civilization gone awry.
Red Green: Oh, well I have some McDonalds coupons. What about those?
Jack the Caveman: Sure.
01x06 - Home Barber Kit Season 1 / Episode 6: - Home Barber Kit

Red Green: We learned that everything has its place. Mine is here, Harold's is over there, and Moose's barber kit's is at the bottom of the lake.
01x05 - Practical Joke Week Season 1 / Episode 5: - Practical Joke Week

Red Green: If my wife is watching, I'll be coming straight home and I'm bringing another bunch of flowers tonight. I do this a few times a year 'cause I'm really not too sure when our anniversary is and this way, everybody wins.
01x04 - The Treasure Hunt Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Treasure Hunt

Red Green: Stay tuned to find out how the treasure hunt turned out.
Harold Green: Big hint... we're still doing the show.
01x03 - The UFO Season 1 / Episode 3: - The UFO

Harold Green: Uncle Red will be right back with his extra terrestrials.
Red Green: Hey wait a minute! I have the same number of terrestrials as everybody else.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Harold Green: Welcome to "Harold's Handy Crafts" where crafty hands make handy crafts!
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Ranger Gord: Where there's smoke, there's fire; where there's fire, there's Ranger Gord; where there's Ranger Gord, there's... nothing...
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: If a person could find a better way to kill bugs, they would not only get rich, they'd probably get a lot more dates.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Harold Green: We have a condom machine at school. It's always broken, but it's fun to think about.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Harold Green: Where does cheese come from, anyway?
Red Green: I'm not sure but I think butter comes from leaving milk out too long.
Harold Green: Maybe cheese is butter that has been left out too long...
Red Green: Yeah, could be... but I always thought cheese was a urine product. No, maybe that's cheez-whiz.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: If repetition wasn't a good thing, why would people get married?
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: Men are like gas, they take up the space available.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: There's only two things that excite a man, expensive toys and real expensive toys.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Reg Hunter: "Vegetarian" is an old Indian word meaning "I don't hunt so good."
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: Remember, you may have to grow old, but you don't have to mature.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: And men, remember, if the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

All: I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Edgar Montrose: Your wife left you? Blow up the stove. Otherwise you'll start cooking for yourself and that's dangerous.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Glen Braxton: It is physically impossible to drink a five-gallon pail full of water while lying down.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: There is a historical significance to party boats, going back to um, Cleopatra and um, Moses, and um the crew of the Exxon-Valdez.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: The Red Green Show is kind of like the flu; not everybody gets it.

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