Type
Scripted
Premiered
Jan. 01, 1991
Status
Canceled/Ended
Runtime
30 min.
Country
Canada
Network
CBC TV Network
Genre

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The Red Green Show (CA) tv show photo

The Red Green Show (CA)

The Red Green Show is a unique half-hour comedy series targeted at family audiences. Set way up north at the infamous Possum Lodge. It's a show for anyone who thinks God created man to give the rest of the world something to laugh at!

01x05 - Practical Joke Week Season 1 / Episode 5: - Practical Joke Week

Red Green: If my wife is watching, I'll be coming straight home and I'm bringing another bunch of flowers tonight. I do this a few times a year 'cause I'm really not too sure when our anniversary is and this way, everybody wins.
01x04 - The Treasure Hunt Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Treasure Hunt

Red Green: Stay tuned to find out how the treasure hunt turned out.
Harold Green: Big hint... we're still doing the show.
01x03 - The UFO Season 1 / Episode 3: - The UFO

Harold Green: Uncle Red will be right back with his extra terrestrials.
Red Green: Hey wait a minute! I have the same number of terrestrials as everybody else.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Harold Green: Welcome to "Harold's Handy Crafts" where crafty hands make handy crafts!
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Ranger Gord: Where there's smoke, there's fire; where there's fire, there's Ranger Gord; where there's Ranger Gord, there's... nothing...
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: If a person could find a better way to kill bugs, they would not only get rich, they'd probably get a lot more dates.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Harold Green: We have a condom machine at school. It's always broken, but it's fun to think about.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Harold Green: Where does cheese come from, anyway?
Red Green: I'm not sure but I think butter comes from leaving milk out too long.
Harold Green: Maybe cheese is butter that has been left out too long...
Red Green: Yeah, could be... but I always thought cheese was a urine product. No, maybe that's cheez-whiz.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: If repetition wasn't a good thing, why would people get married?
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: Men are like gas, they take up the space available.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: There's only two things that excite a man, expensive toys and real expensive toys.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Reg Hunter: "Vegetarian" is an old Indian word meaning "I don't hunt so good."
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: Remember, you may have to grow old, but you don't have to mature.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: And men, remember, if the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

All: I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Edgar Montrose: Your wife left you? Blow up the stove. Otherwise you'll start cooking for yourself and that's dangerous.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Glen Braxton: It is physically impossible to drink a five-gallon pail full of water while lying down.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: There is a historical significance to party boats, going back to um, Cleopatra and um, Moses, and um the crew of the Exxon-Valdez.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: The Red Green Show is kind of like the flu; not everybody gets it.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: You know me, safety forced.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Ranger Gord: I'm Ranger Gord... what year is it?
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Arnie Dogen: [singing] When you feel like a toad on the highway of life... and everyone seems like a steel-belted radial... when you're lyin' there squished in an assortment of bodily fluids... at least you left your mark.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Glen Braxton: It is physically impossible to drink a 5-gallon pail full of water, while lying down.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: [singing] Oh, they're weighin' the fish at the fish weigh-in, down at Mercury Creek / The prize is a boat and a thousand bucks for the biggest fish of the week / I caught me a nice little sunfish, it's gonna make me a winner / Not from the weight of the fish itself, but the ball bearings I fed it for dinner.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: Remember, I'm pulling for ya. We're all in this together!
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: We now come to the part of the show called "If it ain't broke, you're not trying!"
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: [announcement at the lodge meeting] Old man Sedgwick says, if anybody finds a black-and-white cat that answers to the name 'Socks', would they please keep it.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: And the best part is, Junior doesn't need a license to fly it. Apparently, it qualifies as a 'manned kite'. Or a 'manned lightning rod'; we'll see.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Red Green: [singing] This is a love song, more or less for my wife / She's the best thing - or one of the better things - to happen to me, in my life / I'd say what I am, I am because of her - but she wouldn't take that as a compliment / I consider to be perfect - or almost perfect, in a lot of ways / But she could back off on the nagging; that wouldn't hurt at all. Happy Anniversary, Bernice.

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