Originally titled 'You'll Never Get Rich' and often now referred to as just 'Bilko'. The series starred Phil Silvers as Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko of Fort Baxter's motor pool. He was always looking for a way to make a fast buck, provided the Colonel didn't find out. His platoon was frequently the brunt of his money making schemes.
The Phil Silvers Show Season 2 (1956-1957)
|2x01 Platoon in the Movies |
The platoon is chosen to make a film about the correct use of the spark plug.
|Sep. 18, 1956|
|2x02 It's for the Birds |
Bilko looks around for an expert to go on the 64,000 Dollar quiz show on TV. He ends up with Pvt Honnegar who is an expert on wildlife, After surviving a loss of memory he wins the ...
|Sep. 25, 1956|
|2x03 Bilko Goes to College |
When a local gangster insults the army Bilko takes a bet of 1000 -1 That the local College Schmill can beat Notra Dame in a football game. Nobody gives them a chance, but when Bilko ...
|Oct. 02, 1956|
|2x04 The Girl From Italy |
Rocco's brother refuses to marry a girl brought over from Italy so Bilko sets out to make him jealous and to change his mind
|Oct. 09, 1956|
|2x05 The Face on the Recruiting Poster |
Bilko hopes to get a handsome young recruit noticed by Hollywood so he tries to get the soldier's face on the new army recruiting poster. But first he must pass a test on the army and ...
|Oct. 16, 1956|
|2x06 Bilko's War Against Culture |
When two special service officers come to educate the platoon the men promise Bilko they will not attend the lectures until they see who attractive the ladies are
|Oct. 23, 1956|
|2x07 The Song of the Motor Pool |
Bilko looks for a song that the motor pool can adopt. He hears Paparelli singing one in the shower but it turns out that someone thought of it first
|Oct. 30, 1956|
|2x08 Bilko's Engagement |
After a mix up at the jewelers Bilko finds that Joan has been given an engagement ring and she thinks that they are to married. Bilko has to think fast of a way out.
|Nov. 06, 1956|
|2x09 A Mess Sergeant Can't Win |
Tired of being the gullible victim to Bilko’s endless schemes Mess Sgt. Ritzik decides to leave the army. Feeling somewhat guilty, Bilko attempts to pay him back all the money he ...
|Nov. 13, 1956|
|2x10 Doberman's Sister |
It's family day at Fort Baxter and all the platoon have invited their sister's. They all have date's except Doberman's so Bilko sets out to con Zimmerman into taking her out.
|Nov. 20, 1956|
|2x11 Where There's a Will |
A member of the platoon is cheated out of his share in his uncles will. The only thing he gets is a parrot so Bilko starts a rumor that the parrot holds the clue to a hidden treasure ...
|Nov. 27, 1956|
|2x12 Bilko's Tax Trouble |
Bilko mistakenly receives a letter of investigation from the Bureau of Internal Revenue and has to prove his "innocence".
|Dec. 04, 1956|
|2x13 Mink Incorporated |
After Bilko loses 100 dollars of the platoons welfare fund on a horse, he tries to get the money back, by starting a mink farm, but the mink's refuse to breed.
|Dec. 11, 1956|
|2x14 Sergeant Bilko Presents Ed Sullivan |
When TV host Ed Sullivan tries to put on â€˜A Salute to the Army' show, the talent scout leaves Bilko out to start with, but when the producer decides to use a jeep in the finale, ...
|Dec. 18, 1956|
|2x15 Bilko Gets Some Sleep |
Unable to sleep Bilko goes to the camp psychiatrist for advice. He is told to give up gambling and women.
|Dec. 25, 1956|
|2x16 The Blue Blood of the Bilko's |
A sergeant from Fort Baxter is to be excluded from his son's wedding to an heiress. They only want officers to attend so Bilko decides to change their minds
|Jan. 08, 1957|
|2x17 Love That Guardhouse |
After winning 1500 dollars in Las Vegas, Ritzik is desperate to play poker with Bilko, so the Colonel locks him up in the guardhouse for his own protection.
|Jan. 15, 1957|
|2x18 Sergeant Bilko Presents Bing Crosby |
Bilko promotes a show starring Bing Crosby, but when Bing suddenly fails to show up, Bilko has to find a lookalike as a replacement.
|Jan. 22, 1957|
|2x19 Bilko Goes to Monty Carlo |
Bilko comes up with a foolproof method of winning at roulette, so all the camp come up with a bankroll and send him off Monte Carlo to try it out.
|Jan. 29, 1957|
|2x20 Bilko Enters Politics |
When the plan for a new serviceman's center is turned down by the mayor Bilko gets Doberman to run for Mayor. When it looks like Doberman will win, the campaign manager makes a deal ...
|Feb. 05, 1957|
|2x21 Bilko's Television Idea |
When T.V. star Buddy Bickford come to Fort Baxter to research background for a new television show. Bilko tries to sell him a T.V. idea of his own.
|Feb. 12, 1957|
|2x22 The Son of Bilko |
A young practical joker joins the platoon and drives everybody crazy until Bilko finds a way to give give him a taste of his own medicine.
|Feb. 26, 1957|
|2x23 Rock 'n' Roll Rookie |
When singer Elvin Pelvin joins the platoon, Bilko sees a way to make money but he can't get him to sing.
|Mar. 05, 1957|
|2x24 Bilko's Black Magic |
When Pvt Mendleson who has been lost in the jungle for years receives $7000 in back pay he loses it to Grover and Ritzik in a poker game. Bilko uses their fear of black magic to get ...
|Mar. 19, 1957|
|2x25 Bilko Goes South |
During a cold spell the platoon think that they are entering a singing contest which will be held in Florida, but instead they take part in a dangerous medical experiment.
|Mar. 26, 1957|
|2x26 Bilko Goes Around the World |
After watching ' Around the World in 80 Days ' Bilko calls the producer Mike Todd and suggests that to publicize the film he offer a prize to the first person who can do the same.
|Apr. 02, 1957|
|2x27 The Mess Hall Mess |
Bilko has dinner at a French restaurant and finds an old recipe that will win a prize in a competition to find a brand new American recipe.
|Apr. 09, 1957|
|2x28 The Secret Life of Sergeant Bilko |
An investigative reporter tries to find evidence that American soldiers are giving away defense secrets. Bilko gets to hear and helps the reporter out
|Apr. 16, 1957|
|2x29 Radio Station B.I.L.K.O. |
When the local radio station is to close down Bilko sees a good way to make money using army equipment
|Apr. 23, 1957|
|2x30 Bilko the Marriage Broker |
When Lt Wallace gets transferred to become Bilko's platoon officer he works them hard all day. So they try and get him to fall for a new WAC officer Lt Rogers but he doesn't seem to ...
|Apr. 30, 1957|
|2x31 Bilko Acres |
When Bilko thinks that the camp is being enlarged he buys swamp land next door hoping to make a killing only to find that the camp is being slimmed down. Trying to recoup his money ...
|May. 07, 1957|
|2x32 The Big Scandal |
Bilko accidentally hypnotizes Doberman into thinking he is in love with the Colonel's wife
|May. 14, 1957|
|2x33 Bilko's Perfect Day |
For once everything goes right for Bilko, from hot showers in the morning, to picking all the winners in a horse race, but by the time he realizes it the day is over.
|May. 21, 1957|
|2x34 The Colonel Breaks Par |
Bilko wants the Colonel away from the camp so he can operate without obstruction he decides to get the Colonel to enter a golf tournament in Palm Springs but the Colonel doesn't think ...
|May. 28, 1957|
|2x35 Show Segments |
|Jun. 04, 1957|
|2x36 His Highness Doberman |
Doberman is dating the daughter of a Roseville millionaire, but when her parents find out that he is just another soldier they refuse permission for them to marry.
|Jun. 11, 1957|
Season 2 Characters
Season 2 Videos[none added]
Season 2 Quotes
|Season 2 / Episode 12: - Bilko's Tax Trouble|
MSgt. Ernest G. 'Ernie' Bilko: All the money I make on these dances I lose on the horses. I'm a None Profit Organisation!
|Season 2 / Episode 9: - A Mess Sergeant Can't Win|
Mrs. Emma Ritzik: [to Rupert] If Bilko says you were born in Singapore, you were born in Singapore.
Season 2 Trivia
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