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Debbie Weaver The Neighbors

Debbie Weaver

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  Played by:
Jami GertzJami Gertz
[b]Jami Beth Gertz[/b] (born October 28, 1965) is an American actress. Gertz is known for her early roles ...

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Debbie Weaver Quotes

02x12 - Fear and Loving in New Jersey Season 2 / Episode 12: - Fear and Loving in New Jersey

Debbie Weaver: Guys! You're over-reacting.
Larry Bird: Well, of course we are. It's kind of our thing.
02x11 - A Christmas Story Season 2 / Episode 11: - A Christmas Story

Larry Bird: Excuse me, but I'll have you know that I have a mug at my house that says I am the world's greatest father.
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: He does. He bought it himself.
Larry Bird: And they wouldn't sell it to me if it wasn't true. That would be illegal.
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: That's true.
Debbie Weaver: Well, Larry, I have a mug that says I'm Mrs. Clooney.
02x11 - A Christmas Story Season 2 / Episode 11: - A Christmas Story

Debbie Weaver: Why would he choose his own human form, but still need to wear glasses?
02x04 - The One with Interspecies F-R-I-E-N-D-S Season 2 / Episode 4: - The One with Interspecies F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Debbie Weaver: Dick, how long have you been standing there watching us sleep?
Dick Butkus: Tonight? Just a few minutes.
Debbie Weaver: Tonight?
02x04 - The One with Interspecies F-R-I-E-N-D-S Season 2 / Episode 4: - The One with Interspecies F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Debbie Weaver: Do you know he watches us sleep?
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Tuesdays and Fridays are his shift.
Debbie Weaver: And that is going to be a discussion for another day...
02x02 - September Fools Season 2 / Episode 2: - September Fools

Dick Butkus: Listen, will you still love your kids when they're older?
Debbie Weaver: Dick, I love my kids unconditionally. I will love them when they choose the wrong husbands and wives to marry. I will love them when they give birth to grandchildren that they never let me see. I will even love them when their father gets sick, and they never come to visit, and the only company I have is a Jamaican hospice nurse who comes once a week to help me clean his face and wipe his...
Marty Weaver: Where are you right now?
02x02 - September Fools Season 2 / Episode 2: - September Fools

Marty Weaver: Larry, we're here! Where's the fire?
Larry Bird: What? There's no fire. What are you talking about?
Debbie Weaver: You called and said there was an emergency and to bring a fire extinguisher.
Larry Bird: Yes, there is an emergency AND bring a fire extinguisher. They're two separate thoughts.
02x01 - Family Conference Season 2 / Episode 1: - Family Conference

Larry Bird: We usually go in order of prettiness but I'm going to let Jackie go first this time because, as the old saying goes, 'When the wife remains happy, the knife can stay in the drawer.'
Debbie Weaver: Where are you finding these sayings?
02x01 - Family Conference Season 2 / Episode 1: - Family Conference

Debbie Weaver: Heaven forbid someone should touch you. When you were a baby you used to let me touch you all day long.
Amber Weaver: What other options did I have? I was a baby!
02x01 - Family Conference Season 2 / Episode 1: - Family Conference

Jane: I'm Jane. I'm here to claim Reggie Jackson for all of time. And you are?
Amber Weaver: Going to gouge out your dimples with my thumbs.
Debbie Weaver: You go for the face, I'll take her out at the knees.
02x01 - Family Conference Season 2 / Episode 1: - Family Conference

Debbie Weaver: How'd she even get here, huh? I mean, I assume a spaceship, but that's like the ninth person to visit this year! Is anyone else noticing? How many spaceships have to land in New Jersey before NASA notices?
02x01 - Family Conference Season 2 / Episode 1: - Family Conference

Larry Bird: You know the old saying - "Happy wife, happy life..."
Debbie Weaver: That's right.
Larry Bird: ...No need to use a knife.
Debbie Weaver: That's wrong.
01x21 - Mo Purses Mo Money Mo Problems Season 1 / Episode 21: - Mo Purses Mo Money Mo Problems

Debbie Weaver: Wow, Marty, you really gotta start paying more attention around here.
Marty Weaver: Deb, there's way too much to keep track of. Okay, there's you, Amber, Max, Abby, aliens next door. Everybody's got all these little things...
01x21 - Mo Purses Mo Money Mo Problems Season 1 / Episode 21: - Mo Purses Mo Money Mo Problems

Debbie Weaver: There are plenty of successful women in business. Oprah.
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Her network is a failure.
Debbie Weaver: Martha Stewart.
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Jailbird!
01x21 - Mo Purses Mo Money Mo Problems Season 1 / Episode 21: - Mo Purses Mo Money Mo Problems

Marty Weaver: [On Telephone] I'm all the way downtown at the puzzle store buying glue.
Debbie Weaver: Okay, Marty, that is so sad that I hope that is a lie and you are at a strip club.
01x20 - Sing Like a Larry Bird Season 1 / Episode 20: - Sing Like a Larry Bird

Debbie Weaver: You have no documentation, very silly names, all of you are dressed alike, you have that spaceship in your garage...
Marty Weaver: Larry, you want this to end up like E.T.? Huh? Bubble over your house, you lying naked and chapped in some drainage ditch?
Larry Bird: Is that how it ended?
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: No.
Larry Bird: I never saw the end!
01x20 - Sing Like a Larry Bird Season 1 / Episode 20: - Sing Like a Larry Bird

Abby Weaver: Hey Debbie, where's your copy of Magic Mike?
Debbie Weaver: You're not watching Magic Mike.
Abby Weaver: Fine, I'll illegally download it from the internet.
01x20 - Sing Like a Larry Bird Season 1 / Episode 20: - Sing Like a Larry Bird

Debbie Weaver: Dick are you Ok?
Dick Butkus: I'm Well.
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Stop that Dick!
Larry Bird: It's Not Punny!
01x17 - Larry Bird Presents an Oscar-Winning Film by Larry Bird Season 1 / Episode 17: - Larry Bird Presents an Oscar-Winning Film by Larry Bird

Debbie Weaver: Mommy has to go outside and trick your brother into spelling stuff 'cause Daddy won't let her be a good Mommy. [walks out]
Abby Weaver: ...She says to the 6-year old who she just left alone in the house.
01x17 - Larry Bird Presents an Oscar-Winning Film by Larry Bird Season 1 / Episode 17: - Larry Bird Presents an Oscar-Winning Film by Larry Bird

Max Weaver: Guys, enough. I'm tired.
Debbie Weaver: Well, you know what they say: Nothing wakes you up more than spelling.
Max Weaver: Show me one person who says that. Show me that person and I'll spell all night!
01x16 - Mother Clubbers Season 1 / Episode 16: - Mother Clubbers

Debbie Weaver: They're flirting, Larry. They're letting her know that they find her attractive.
Larry Bird: She is?
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: I am?
Debbie Weaver: Are you kidding? Larry, your wife is a 10!
Larry Bird: Out of how many? Because if she's a 10, I'm at least a 38.
01x16 - Mother Clubbers Season 1 / Episode 16: - Mother Clubbers

Debbie Weaver: I'm a mom. I'm a limo driver without a limo.
01x16 - Mother Clubbers Season 1 / Episode 16: - Mother Clubbers

Debbie Weaver: Oh my God, I'm dressed like Adam Sandler.
01x16 - Mother Clubbers Season 1 / Episode 16: - Mother Clubbers

Debbie Weaver: If I were to get all styled up, do you think I could get into a club?
Amber Weaver: A book club?
01x16 - Mother Clubbers Season 1 / Episode 16: - Mother Clubbers

Larry Bird: You feed this to your children? Is it to punish them?
Debbie Weaver: No, Larry, it's not a punishment. It's called cereal.
Larry Bird: It's 98% processed sugar spray painted pink. You're better off eating the box.
01x16 - Mother Clubbers Season 1 / Episode 16: - Mother Clubbers

Marty Weaver: Michael friggin' Bay hit on my sexy wife.
Debbie Weaver: I don't know if it's sexy or weird that it's turning you on.
Marty Weaver: I don't know either, but it's happening.
01x15 - Space Invaders Season 1 / Episode 15: - Space Invaders

Debbie Weaver: It is not my fault that everyone I talk to today is out of their minds!
01x15 - Space Invaders Season 1 / Episode 15: - Space Invaders

Amber Weaver: I need some birth control because I'm going to start having a lot of sex. Are you cool with that?
Debbie Weaver: This isn't real, right?
01x15 - Space Invaders Season 1 / Episode 15: - Space Invaders

Debbie Weaver: So when Amber texts Jeremy...
Abby Weaver: I've seen a smiley face, a tongue-out face and a couple of times LMAO.
Debbie Weaver: Oh my God, "Let my ass out!" She's texting "Let my ass out!"
01x14 - The Back Nine Season 1 / Episode 14: - The Back Nine

Debbie Weaver: Guys, you can't go through our mail. A person's mail is a private thing.
Larry Bird: Yes, that's why it's placed by a stranger in a box at the end of your driveway unattended. Silly fools.

Previous: Marty Weaver Next: Larry Bird
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