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Fred Flintstone The Flintstones

Fred Flintstone

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  Played by:
Alan ReedAlan Reed
Character player Alan Reed was a strong, burly presence on film and TV but he would be better remembered ...

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Fred Flintstone Quotes

06x16 - Fred Goes Ape Season 6 / Episode 16: - Fred Goes Ape

Fred Flintstone: I'm going down to the drugstore to pick up some of that Scram.
Barney Rubble: It's kind of late, Fred; maybe we should go in the morning.


Barney Rubble: OK, Fred. I can take a hint. We'll go now.
06x16 - Fred Goes Ape Season 6 / Episode 16: - Fred Goes Ape

Fred Flintstone: [Fred & Barney pull up in front of the drugstore] Here we are, Bar...


Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, if we could harness the power in those sneezes, we could forget about paying the electric bill.
Fred Flintstone: Never mind the wisecracks, I need that Scram.
06x16 - Fred Goes Ape Season 6 / Episode 16: - Fred Goes Ape

Barney Rubble: [Points to a display table] Look, Fred, enough Scram for an army. Or at least an army of sneezes.
Fred Flintstone: You wouldn't think it was so funny if it happened to...


Barney Rubble: Uh-oh, Fred. I think you just bought a lifetime supply of Scram.
06x12 - Shinrock-A-Go-Go Season 6 / Episode 12: - Shinrock-A-Go-Go

Barney Rubble: [Arrives to help Fred practice his dance routine] I'll just plug in the old electric guitar, tune it up, and... [guitar shorts out]
Fred Flintstone: Barney! What the heck happened?
Barney Rubble: AC guitar, DC outlet! Would you mind unplugging it, Fred? I'm feeling kind of barbequed! [Fred tries to unplug the guitar, which shorts out again, then blows up] Man, when those things short, they really short! You got a spare tuba?
Fred Flintstone: Never mind the instruments! You can hum the tune.
06x12 - Shinrock-A-Go-Go Season 6 / Episode 12: - Shinrock-A-Go-Go

Fred Flintstone: [after hearing radio broadcasts making fun of his dancing] I don't want to do it! Don't make me do it! [Starts to cry, then faints]
Barney Rubble: Don't worry about your daddy, Pebbles. He's just having a simple nervous breakdown.
06x12 - Shinrock-A-Go-Go Season 6 / Episode 12: - Shinrock-A-Go-Go

Fred Flintstone: [after being "persuaded" to get Wilma & Betty tickets to the Shinrock TV show] Alright, we'll get you the tickets! But first let me take care of Jimmy O'Neillstone! [Turns off TV]
Barney Rubble: [after an arm reaches out of the set and turns it back on] Well, I guess that's how they keep their ratings up.
06x11 - The Masquerade Party Season 6 / Episode 11: - The Masquerade Party

Fred Flintstone: [as Fred and Barney begin to show eachother their costumes which both happen to be Red-Devil costumes] Hey Barney, where are you?
Barney Rubble: Oh, right here Fred. I slipped into my costume too.
Fred Flintstone: Huh?
Barney Rubble: Will the real Satan please stand up? [Barney laughs]
06x08 - Rip Van Flintstone Season 6 / Episode 8: - Rip Van Flintstone

Man: You're a little late for Halloween, aren't ya, buddy?
Fred Flintstone: You're not Barney.
Man: Who?
Fred Flintstone: Barney Rubble. Doesn't he live here?
Man: [laughs] That's a hot one. B.J. Rubble the multimillionaire living here? You're a regular comedian, mister.
Fred Flintstone: Barney Rubble a millionaire?
Man: Yeah, struck it rich in oil years ago. Mr. Rubble lives way up there on tip of that hill. Calls the estate Sandstone Simeon. Everyone knows about B.J. Rubble the millionaire. You must have been asleep for the last twenty years, pal.
Fred Flintstone: Gee, maybe he's right. Maybe I *have* been asleep for twenty years, like in that Rip van Winklestone story. [starts crying] I've slept my whole life away! My family's gone, my friends disappeared, Barney is rich! [stops crying] Barney, *he'll* remember me! I'm his best friend and he'll know where Wilma and Pebbles are!
05x20 - Moonlight and Maintenance Season 5 / Episode 20: - Moonlight and Maintenance

Fred Flintstone: [Fred stops at a wig shop to buy a disguise] I need a wig, quick!
Wig Man: That one you're wearing is a little ratty.
Fred Flintstone: Don't be a wise guy, just give me a wig!
Wig Man: [Takes the wig off his head and hands it to Fred] Here you are.
Fred Flintstone: [Puts on wig and pays clerk] Thank you. Hm, might as well take this phony mustache too.


Wig Man: Boy is he in for a surprise. That mustache was real. Ow! Oooh!
05x19 - The Hatrocks and the Gruesomes Season 5 / Episode 19: - The Hatrocks and the Gruesomes

Granny Hatrock: [after hitting a hand that came out of the well] Mind your manners. Oh Mr Gruesome. I don't want to spoil this here lovely party, but there's something down in that well.
Weirdly Gruesome: Oh, that's only Uncle Ghastly. He lives down there.
Fred Flintstone: Uncle Ghastly lives down in the well?
Weirdly Gruesome: Yes. He's on Crepella's side of the family.
Weirdly Gruesome: [Fred looked down the well, then the hand punches him, leaving Fred staring down the well] He's full of laughs. [a very creepy laugh emanates from the well, terrifying Fred]
05x11 - Dino and Juliet Season 5 / Episode 11: - Dino and Juliet

Fred Flintstone: Blustering: Awright, YOU asked for it, I'm gonna... Whimpering: Oh no... Oh you wouldn't do THAT... No... You wouldn't tickle my FEET, wouldja?
05x09 - The Gruesomes Season 5 / Episode 9: - The Gruesomes

Weirdly Gruesome: Oh yes. Our son Gob is quite the little lad.
Barney Rubble: Gob? Is he a sailor?
Barney Rubble: Oh no. Gob is short for Goblin.
Fred Flintstone: It figures, it figures. Does little Goblin have a pet spider that looks like a derby hat with legs?
Weirdly Gruesome: He did have, but little Gob, shall we say, wore him out.
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, let's say that. Spiders can't take it.
Weirdly Gruesome: Goblin isn't the kind of boy that you don't take to when you first meet him.
Fred Flintstone: I'll buy that.
Weirdly Gruesome: But when you get to know him, you can't stand him! [laughs evilly]
05x09 - The Gruesomes Season 5 / Episode 9: - The Gruesomes

Fred Flintstone: [Fred just opened the door and meets Mr Gruesome for the first time] Hello Mr Flintstone. I'm Gruesome.
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, you are, sort of. But knowing it is half the battle.
Weirdly Gruesome: You can call me Weirdly.
Fred Flintstone: I was just about to do that.
05x07 - A Haunted House is Not a Home Season 5 / Episode 7: - A Haunted House is Not a Home

Fred Flintstone: [about his uncle] He was a well, he was... he was...
Betty Rubble: You mean he was an eccentric.
Fred Flintstone: I mean he was a kook.
05x07 - A Haunted House is Not a Home Season 5 / Episode 7: - A Haunted House is Not a Home

Creepers: Dinner is served, sir.
Fred Flintstone: Eh, what is it, Creepers?
Creepers: Alphabet soup, sir, our cook's specialty.
Fred Flintstone: Alphabet soup?
Barney Rubble: Sure, Fred, you twirl it around and sometimes it makes words. Uh do you think we should eat it?
Fred Flintstone: Well sure, why not?
Barney Rubble: Well if anything happens to Flintstone, everything goes to the servants, remember?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, yeah I remember. Hey Barney look! The alphabet soup's trying to tell us something! Beware!
Barney Rubble: You better do what it says, Fred, look! [Pot Rock charges at Fred with a cleaver]
05x07 - A Haunted House is Not a Home Season 5 / Episode 7: - A Haunted House is Not a Home

Barney Rubble: [looking at a picture on the wall] Hey, that must be a picture of your uncle, the late J. Giggles Flinstone.
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, yeah that's him alright.
Barney Rubble: Looks a lot like you! [the eyes move in the picture]
Fred Flintstone: Hey Barney! That picture, I saw the eyes move!
Barney Rubble: Eyes move? Oh boy, uh Fred, you're a bundle of nerves!
Fred Flintstone: [hears thunder and laughter and jumps over to Barney's side of the table] Kind of, stormy tonight, isn't it, Barney?
04x07 - Glue for Two Season 4 / Episode 7: - Glue for Two

Fred Flintstone: [Fred and Barney are glued to a bowling ball, and are trying to get it off with a hammer & chisel] Now when I nod my head, hit it. Ok, Barney?
Barney Rubble: If you say so, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: [Nods. Barney hits him in the head with the hammer] Not my head you dunce! The ball!
04x07 - Glue for Two Season 4 / Episode 7: - Glue for Two

Fred Flintstone: He just tried to f-f-f-freeze me to death in a cold shower!
Barney Rubble: I always take a cold shower in the morning.
Betty Rubble: That's right, he does.
Fred Flintstone: [yelling] YEAH, BUT I DON'T!
03x24 - Carry On, Nurse Fred Season 3 / Episode 24: - Carry On, Nurse Fred

Fred Flintstone: I'm not talking about Wilma's mother. I'm talking about that antiseptic refugee from the psycho ward. Nurse Frightenshale.
03x23 - The Blessed Event Season 3 / Episode 23: - The Blessed Event

Fred Flintstone: This is Fred Hospital, I'm taking my wife to the Flintstone.

03x23 - The Blessed Event Season 3 / Episode 23: - The Blessed Event

Wilma Flintstone: Look at me Fred, I'm calm.
Fred Flintstone: Why shouldn't you be? Your wife isn't having a baby.
03x22 - Fred's New Job Season 3 / Episode 22: - Fred's New Job

Wilma Flintstone: Fred, can't you get up without making all that noise?
Fred Flintstone: It's that pesty gooney bird, he's back again! Why can't he fly back to Capistranorock or wherever else he belongs? What a thing to look forward to all summer!
03x08 - The Little Stranger Season 3 / Episode 8: - The Little Stranger

Wilma Flintstone: It's been weeks since you had a good word for anybody or anything.
Fred Flintstone: Oh yeah, what about that thing I said about your mother last week?
Wilma Flintstone: My mother?
Fred Flintstone: I said, good riddance she lives 50 miles away.
02x12 - The Masquerade Ball Season 2 / Episode 12: - The Masquerade Ball

Fred Flintstone: Tell me, boss, I'm on pins and needles! What were you wearing?
Mr. Rockhead: [Puts on the bird head of the costume that he, unknown to Fred, exchanged with the costumer] I got it right here.
Fred Flintstone: Sure, I talked to you, we were standing at the refreshment bar and I was saying... [suddenly realizes it was Mr. Rockhead he said all that bad stuff to] Oh boy, what I was saying...
Mr. Rockhead: I'll refresh your memory... Quote: Vice president of the morons section of the Knucklehead Club. [Fred starts to "feel small" as he continues] Home having dinner before the 5-oclock whistle. Penny Pincher. Shorty. Birdbrain. You were gonna bump me right on the beak! Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera! Well, what have you got to say for yourself?
Fred Flintstone: [in a high-pitched voice] Oh boy, me and my big mouth.
02x04 - Alvin Brickrock Presents Season 2 / Episode 4: - Alvin Brickrock Presents

Barney Rubble: [looking into Alvin Brickrock's home and finding a dinosaur skeleton] What a gloomy place this is. [gulps] Your suspicions were correct, Fred, there she is, Agatha Brickrock, with her outside removed.
Fred Flintstone: That's not Agatha, that's a mastadon.
Barney Rubble: A whatsadon?
Fred Flintstone: A big thing with a lumpy body, thick legs, a big nose, flappy ears and tusks.
Barney Rubble: Sounds like Agatha to me.
02x04 - Alvin Brickrock Presents Season 2 / Episode 4: - Alvin Brickrock Presents

Fred Flintstone: [playing cards] Barney, what would you do if you were holding the queen alone?
Barney Rubble: I don't know, Fred, it all depends on what time the king gets home. [laughs]
02x04 - Alvin Brickrock Presents Season 2 / Episode 4: - Alvin Brickrock Presents

Arnold: Collect for the paper, Mr. Flintstone.
Fred Flintstone: How much?
Arnold: $1.75.
Fred Flintstone: $1.75 only four weeks newspapers?
Arnold: Four weeks newspapers, and a month's rentals on my comics. Peter Gunnite and the Bald Blonde Caper, and I was a Member of the Mafia for the FBI, and I was a Member of the FBI for the Mafia, and Peter Masonite and the Permanent Wave Murders.
Fred Flintstone: I don't remember that one.
Arnold: Oh sure, the killer throws his victims into a vat of permament wave lotion and they get curled to death.
Fred Flintstone: Oh yeah, yeah, he buries them in snail shells! Go on.
Arnold: And you're 26 cents overdue for my Little Golden Treasury of children's murder mysteries.
Fred Flintstone: Oh well I'm not finished with that yet, here's your money, Arnold.
02x04 - Alvin Brickrock Presents Season 2 / Episode 4: - Alvin Brickrock Presents

Wilma Flintstone: I didn't know there was a fight scheduled.
Barney Rubble: Are you kidding? Tonight's for the championship, oooohh it should be a real grudge boat.
Betty Rubble: Heavyweight or lightweight?
Barney Rubble: Both, a heavyweight vs. a lightweight.
Wilma Flintstone: Why're you putting the chairs over there by the window? The TV set's here.
Fred Flintstone: This is not on TV, it's a closed circuit.
Betty Rubble: But who's fighting?
Barney Rubble: The new neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Brickrock.
02x04 - Alvin Brickrock Presents Season 2 / Episode 4: - Alvin Brickrock Presents

Fred Flintstone: I wouldn't miss tonight's fight for anything. Those two have been putting on the greatest fight of the century. Last night's bout was a doozy. Did you hear all that screaming and shrieking and that high voice?
Barney Rubble: Yeah, I thought he'd never stop.
Betty Rubble: That's terrible, you mean that meek little man hits his wife?
Fred Flintstone: No, in the last three rounds he never laid a glove on her, he's strictly a defensive fighter.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, you'd think she'd let him win once in a while to keep his interest.
02x04 - Alvin Brickrock Presents Season 2 / Episode 4: - Alvin Brickrock Presents

Wilma Flintstone: It's funny how little you know about your neighbors; what really goes on behind closed doors.
Betty Rubble: We don't even know what business he's in, and they've been living in that big old gloomy house for a whole week.
Fred Flintstone: You never see that Brickrock guy going to work, do you think he's retired?
Barney Rubble: No Fred, the lights are still on.
Fred Flintstone: I mean what kind of work is he out of?
Barney Rubble: Well did you see some of those spooky crates and boxes?
Fred Flintstone: What do you mean spooky? What's spooky about crates and boxes?
Barney Rubble: Shaped like coffins?

  Next: Barney Rubble
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