Type
Scripted
Premiered
Oct. 03, 1961
Status
Canceled/Ended
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
CBS TV Network
Genre

Top Contributors

03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Mel Cooley: Good morning, staff.
Buddy Sorrell: Good morning, stiff.
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Buddy Sorrell: [brainstorming for a funny idea to a saloon sketch] I got it. I got the joke. You ready? Alan comes in carrying a colt 45.
Sally Rogers: A gun?
Buddy Sorrell: No, a middle-aged horse.
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Mel Cooley: Newstime Magazine is going to do a cover story of Alan and, as his writers, they want to know what you think of him.
Sally Rogers: Oh, they can't print THAT in a family magazine.
Mel Cooley: Uh, you can say anything you want as long as you bear in mind that your contracts are coming up for renewal.
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Buddy Sorrell: [to Mel] What do YOU know about charm? You got all the charm of a sticky doorknob.
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Laura Petrie: Behind every great man...
Rob Petrie: ...is a woman with a big mouth.
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Alan Brady: [having chewed out Rob in a rage] Now GET OUT OF HERE!
Rob Petrie: [submissively] How far out? Just...
Alan Brady: Well, from now, I'd go into your office until I tell you w-whether my "satirical sword" needs any sharpening! And next time you talk to a reporter, will you try to work my name in, even if you have to force it into the conversation! And tell your wife to eat at home next time, will ya?
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Rob Petrie: Look, you guys, I'd like to explain about that article.
Sally Rogers: Oh, what's to explain? It's all down here in black and blue.
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Rob Petrie: That's a wonderful joke, Buddy.
Buddy Sorrell: Oh? Well, would you mind signing this?
Rob Petrie: What for?
Buddy Sorrell: It's a receipt for the joke in case anybody asks me what I do around here.
Sally Rogers: Oh, Buddy! Making him sign a receipt. I think that's terrible.
Rob Petrie: Thanks, Sal.
Sally Rogers: Anything we write, we'll just type our initials to it.
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Laura Petrie: Do you mean to tell me that he is so small and petty that he counted how many times his name was mentioned?
Rob Petrie: The bigger they are, the harder they count.
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Laura Petrie: Oh, ROB! Are you saying it's MY fault?
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Rob Petrie: [explaining why he didn't try harder to keep Laura quiet] Because even though I was embarrassed by everything you said, I sat there and I enjoyed every minute of it! I guess, deep down in my subconscious, I was in complete agreement with you, that's why!
Laura Petrie: Then why are you shouting at me?
Rob Petrie: I'm shouting at ME. You're just in the way.
03x15 - My Husband is the Best One Season 3 / Episode 15: - My Husband is the Best One

Diane Moseby: Oh, but does Alan Brady contribute anything to the script?
Rob Petrie: Oh, my, yes. He's VERY creative. One of the biggest contributors.
Laura Petrie: Yeah, he signs Rob's checks every week.
03x14 - The Third One from the Left Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Third One from the Left

Mel Cooley: One of my duties on this show is the sifting of talent.
Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, well, don't forget your pail and shovel.
03x14 - The Third One from the Left Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Third One from the Left

Mel Cooley: [having seen Joanie kissing Rob] I'd hate to see it start, Rob.
Rob Petrie: You hate to see WHAT start?
Mel Cooley: So many couples we've known, it's hard to get up a bridge game.
03x14 - The Third One from the Left Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Third One from the Left

Rob Petrie: [angrily on the phone] Laura, will you call Joanie's mother and tell her to make Joanie leave me alone?
03x14 - The Third One from the Left Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Third One from the Left

Rob Petrie: I don't... What am I gonna DO with her. She's NUTS about me.
Laura Petrie: Aw, she'll get over it. I did.
03x14 - The Third One from the Left Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Third One from the Left

Laura Petrie: Hi, Darling. How'd it go today?
Rob Petrie: Congratulate me - I'm engaged.
Laura Petrie: You're WHAT?
Rob Petrie: I wanted you to be the very first to know.
Laura Petrie: Oh, Rob!
03x14 - The Third One from the Left Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Third One from the Left

Rob Petrie: Well, I wanna tell her that if I run away with her, you'll kill yourself.
Laura Petrie: No, tell her that if you run away with her, I'll kill you both. No, no, that's no good. Then no one will have any fun.
Rob Petrie: Buddy will. He's got dibs on you.
03x14 - The Third One from the Left Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Third One from the Left

Sally Rogers: Oh, hi, Rob. Your name just came up.
Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, I think your number's up, too. Mrs. Petrie Jr. was just in here looking for ya.
03x14 - The Third One from the Left Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Third One from the Left

Rob Petrie: Well, there's nothing more for us to do around here. I guess we may go home to our loved ones.
Buddy Sorrell: Not me. I'm goin' home to my wife.
03x14 - The Third One from the Left Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Third One from the Left

Rob Petrie: You know what Laura said to me last night?
Buddy Sorrell: Get out of the house.
Sally Rogers: She said Joanie is in love with you.
Rob Petrie: Hehe-heh, she said Joanie is in love... How did YOU know?
Sally Rogers: Figures. The kid's eighteen, you're an older man, you showed an interest in her...
Rob Petrie: I did not. I just suggested her for a part.
Sally Rogers: Rob, to a moony teenager, that's like a proposal of marriage.
03x14 - The Third One from the Left Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Third One from the Left

Rob Petrie: You're gettin' pretty sophisticated, by the way. I call you on the phone and tell you a girl kissed me; you don't even get jealous!
Laura Petrie: Well, I figured your call was for help, not to boast.
03x13 - The Alan Brady Show Presents Season 3 / Episode 13: - The Alan Brady Show Presents

Alan Brady: [surrounded by dancing girls in Christmas outfits] Go ahead, Rob. Tell 'em all about our show.
Rob Petrie: Well, what're YOU gonna do?
Alan Brady: Well, somebody's gotta feed these poor reindeer. Donna, Blitzen, Betty, come on.
03x13 - The Alan Brady Show Presents Season 3 / Episode 13: - The Alan Brady Show Presents

Rob Petrie: Someone's kickin' at the door.
Buddy Sorrell: Either that or the termites are takin' dancin' lessons.
03x13 - The Alan Brady Show Presents Season 3 / Episode 13: - The Alan Brady Show Presents

Mel Cooley: What is it that everyone says The Alan Brady Show lacks?
Buddy Sorrell: A good producer.
03x13 - The Alan Brady Show Presents Season 3 / Episode 13: - The Alan Brady Show Presents

Sally Rogers: [in song] I am a fine musician, I practice every day / And people come from miles around just to heard me play...
03x13 - The Alan Brady Show Presents Season 3 / Episode 13: - The Alan Brady Show Presents

Buddy Sorrell: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm playin' a cello solo. What is this?
Sally Rogers: Well, I'm gonna accompany you.
Buddy Sorrell: I don't need any accompaniment.
Sally Rogers: Why not? Jascha Heifetz has a whole symphony behind him.
Buddy Sorrell: Yeah. He's afraid to play alone! Not me.
03x12 - The Sound of Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears Season 3 / Episode 12: - The Sound of Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears

Rob Petrie: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. And so do I.
03x12 - The Sound of Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears Season 3 / Episode 12: - The Sound of Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears

Buddy Sorrell: Rob, there are eight million stories in the naked city, and I think you're one of 'em.
03x12 - The Sound of Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears Season 3 / Episode 12: - The Sound of Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears

Buddy Sorrell: Boy, I'm sure glad I didn't see those two people.
Rob Petrie: Why?
Buddy Sorrell: Well, once I-I witnessed an accident. There was a car and a fruit truck, and like a jerk I went and reported it. Hoo, boy, I'll never make THAT mistake again.
Sally Rogers: Why?
Buddy Sorrell: Well, one of the guys turns out to be a nut, and he keeps threatening me all week long - calls, you know, on the phone - "You better get down or I'm gonna run you over with my fruit truck."
Sally Rogers: Yeah, but he didn't, did he?
Buddy Sorrell: No, he didn't, but he got me scared. Now every time I see a fruit truck, I break out in hives.

You are successfully logged out.
login
[close]

ShareTV Login

Username
Password
Enter the text in the image shown if you are human.
WARNING: after 2 more failed attempts you will be locked out
[close]

Create Account

Username
Password
Verify Password
EMAIL

Verification code (check your email for the verification code)

Verification code has been sent to the following email address:
If you didn't receive the verification code:

1. Check your bulk/spam folder.

2. Try to whitelist our email address (noreply@sharetv.org)

3. Resend verification email

If you mistyped your email address change it here
Create a free ShareTV account to make a personalized schedule of your favorite TV shows, keep track of what you've watched, earn points and more.
Verify your username and email to complete your Registration
Enter the text in the image shown if you are human.
WARNING: after 2 more failed attempts you will be locked out
[close]

Forgot Your Password?

EMAIL
Enter the email address you used to create the account and your password will be emailed to you.