Type
Scripted
Premiered
Jan. 26, 1994
Status
Canceled/Ended
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
FOX TV Network
Genre

Top Contributors

The Critic tv show photo

The Critic

This show follows Jay Sherman who is a movie critic on TV. He is forced to review the most dumbest films to which he always says this line "It stinks" for his reviews, that's his catch phrase. In addition to the film parodies, the show also deals with Jay's personal life, his son which he has to raise alone, working with his tyrannical media mogul boss and his love-life and family.

02x10 - I Can't Believe It's a Clip Show Season 2 / Episode 10: - I Can't Believe It's a Clip Show

Jay Sherman: [singing] To all the girls I've loved on screen, for instance, Stephen King's Christine!
02x09 - Dukerella Season 2 / Episode 9: - Dukerella

Duke Phillips: All right, Sherman, you've been down here long enough. I'll give you the dental plan you want with a $50 deductible.
Jay Sherman: $25 deductible!
Duke Phillips: See you in five years!
02x08 - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost Season 2 / Episode 8: - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost

Franklin Sherman: A penguin! [angrily] And he's been drinking! Wait a minute. Penguins can't fly... PENGUINS CAN'T FLY!
02x08 - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost Season 2 / Episode 8: - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost

Jeremy Hawke: Vlada, there's a black box in my soup.
Vlada: I will get you a new bowl imediately.


Vlada: Sorry, Mamma.


Jeremy Hawke: There's an old lady's stocking in my soup.
Vlada: She is not so old!... I mean... that's a noodle.
02x08 - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost Season 2 / Episode 8: - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost

Humphrey the Hippo: Hey kids, have you kids been smoking like I asked you to?
Girl: [in Doris' voice] Yeah, I'm up to four packs a day!
Humphrey the Hippo: Today, Humphrey's gonna teach you all what happens when you get a lung removed...


Humphrey the Hippo: ...You get ice cream!


Girl: [coughing] Yay!
02x08 - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost Season 2 / Episode 8: - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost

Jay Sherman: Well, here's what I think...


Duke Phillips: Sorry, son, our research shows people don't care what you think. They just tune in for the funny clips.
02x08 - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost Season 2 / Episode 8: - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost

Margo Sherman: It's a sign! They're alive!
Orson Welles: Yes. They're alive, but I have gone to a better place. A place filled with Mrs. Pell's Fish Sticks. Yes! Oh yes! They're even better when you're dead!
02x08 - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost Season 2 / Episode 8: - Frankie and Ellie Get Lost

Orson Welles: Hello. I'm Orson Welles. What follows is a journey into the world of magic, mystery...
Sherman Family Attorney: Mr. Welles, this is a video will.
Orson Welles: What? Look, I don't need to do this! I've got a fish stick commercial in an hour! [leaves, and then walks back to his chair albeit reluctantly] Oh, what the hell? I need the money.
02x07 - Sherman of Arabia Season 2 / Episode 7: - Sherman of Arabia

Jay Sherman: [telling his story to children] Things never looked worse. There I was - with my head stuck in a honey pot.
Alice Tompkins: I thought you were stuck in an Iraqi prison?
Jay Sherman: Eh, hah! Yes, of course, how could a grown man get his head stuck in a honey pot?

02x07 - Sherman of Arabia Season 2 / Episode 7: - Sherman of Arabia

Captain Raheem: You will speak the blasphemous and self-denigrating dialogue that has been written for you!
Jay Sherman: Like I'm not used to that.
Captain Raheem: [handing him a paper] Read this!
Jay Sherman: There's going to be a really bitching kegger tonight at Captain Raheem's tent!
Captain Raheem: That's mine. Read this!
Jay Sherman: Dear Urkel: you are so funny. Can you come to my birthday party? Your friend, Captain Raheem.
Captain Raheem: Give me that!
Jay Sherman: Single Arabic captain wishes to meet non-Kurdish woman. I like puppies, Kenny G, and walks on the beach. Whoo-hoo! Kenny G.

02x07 - Sherman of Arabia Season 2 / Episode 7: - Sherman of Arabia

Eleanor Sherman: What's going to happen to our darling little boy?
Franklin Sherman: Don't worry, my darling. I have friends in high places who'll take care of everything.


President Bush: Franklin, great to see you. Been years.
Franklin Sherman: Mr. President, my son is being held hostage in Iraq, and I need you to save him. Now, I've given money to the Republicans for years and never asked for anything in return.
President Bush: You asked to be Secretary of Balloon Doggies!
Franklin Sherman: I didn't ask to be Secretary of Balloon Doggies. The balloon doggies demanded it!
02x07 - Sherman of Arabia Season 2 / Episode 7: - Sherman of Arabia

Police Chief: [in "Beverly Hills Robo K9 Cop and a Half 2" movie] All right, Callaghan, I got some new partners for you: a woman, a cute little kid, an ugly old dog, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun.
Leprechaun: I'll be your lucky charm!

02x06 - All the Duke's Men Season 2 / Episode 6: - All the Duke's Men

Duke Phillips: I'm Duke Phillips, and from now on I'm speaking my own mind. First, I'll tell you what I'm really going to do as president. I'll run this country like I run my company. I'm going raid the pension fund, dump chemicals in the oceans, and sell our best assets to the Japanese.
Ronald Reagan: Ooh! Looks like Reaganomics is making a comeback.
Duke Phillips: Half of you states are in the toilet, and you're not coming out! New York, you know what I'm talking about. California, kiss your smoggy butt goodbye! New England, you're going back to Old England.
Queen Elizabeth: Oh, I don't want that.
Prince Charles: More poison? I mean, tea?
Queen Elizabeth: Ah, don't mind if I do. You almost had me there.


Duke Phillips: Well, that's my speech, now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put on some leather and go get spanked. Vote for Duke. Good night.
02x06 - All the Duke's Men Season 2 / Episode 6: - All the Duke's Men

Marty Sherman: But all they want to do is goof off and eat candy.
Jay Sherman: Well, son, as President, you're above that.


Ronald Reagan: I do solemnly swear that as your President, I will goof off and eat candy.


Crowd: Four more years! Four more years!
02x06 - All the Duke's Men Season 2 / Episode 6: - All the Duke's Men

Jay Sherman: It's a giant horse's ass! [to the audience] You're watching Fox. Give us 10 minutes, we'll give you an ass.
02x06 - All the Duke's Men Season 2 / Episode 6: - All the Duke's Men

Jay Sherman: Now, let's take a look at the new musical from Francis Ford Coppola: Apocalypse Wow!
Colonel Walter E. Kurtz: [singing] Howdy Doo! I'm Colonel Kurtz. Fat and Bald like old Fred Murtz. Watch me do a Hula Dance. To shake the egg rolls from my pants


Severed Heads on Implanted Spears: [singing] He's not so bad, he's really just an odd man.
Colonel Walter E. Kurtz: [singing] And I've shaved my head like Dennis Rodman.
Photojournalist: [singing] He's a god, man!
Duke Phillips: [Appearing in Apocalypse Wow] Vote for Duke! Vote for Duke! Vote for Duke!... VOTE FOR DUKE!
Jay Sherman: Get that off my show!
02x06 - All the Duke's Men Season 2 / Episode 6: - All the Duke's Men

June Lockhart: [on why she's marrying Duke] Because he agreed to bring everybody back who was lost in space... even Dr. Smith!
02x06 - All the Duke's Men Season 2 / Episode 6: - All the Duke's Men

Duke Phillips: Gaze into the hypnotic power of my evil eye!


Duke Phillips: Is there a follow-up question?
Reporter: [hypnotized] How may I serve you, evil one?
02x06 - All the Duke's Men Season 2 / Episode 6: - All the Duke's Men

Franklin: Son, I'm going to be Vice President. And I'm going to be honest with the American people. I am not going to wear this toupee anymore!


Jay Sherman: Dad, you don't wear a toupee.
Franklin: I will from now on.
02x06 - All the Duke's Men Season 2 / Episode 6: - All the Duke's Men

Alice Thompkins: You want me to listen to my stomach?
Jay Sherman: [chuckles] No, silly, your heart.
Jay's Stomach: Noone ever listens to me! Boohoo, hoo!
02x06 - All the Duke's Men Season 2 / Episode 6: - All the Duke's Men

Franklin: [opening the debate] As the first black female head of the Ku Klux Klan, I'd like to say "America stinks!"
02x05 - From Chunk to Hunk Season 2 / Episode 5: - From Chunk to Hunk

Penny Tompkins: Momma, I'm scared of Peter Pan!
Alice Tompkins: We all are, Honey.
02x05 - From Chunk to Hunk Season 2 / Episode 5: - From Chunk to Hunk

Marty Sherman: But I can't act!
Drama Teacher: [chuckles] That's what a young Steve Guttenberg told me, und look at him now! eh, No, look at him four years ago.
02x05 - From Chunk to Hunk Season 2 / Episode 5: - From Chunk to Hunk

William Shatner: Hello-I'm-William-Shatner-and-this-is-"Celebrity 911." Tonight-we-devote-the-entire-hour-to-police-calls-involving-James-Caan...


William Shatner: CAAN!
02x05 - From Chunk to Hunk Season 2 / Episode 5: - From Chunk to Hunk

Jay Sherman: [to son on phone] And remember, you don't have to listen to your stomach.
Jay's Stomach: What was that hogwash you were feedin' the boy?
Jay Sherman: Nothing, Master, I, I said nothing.
Jay's Stomach: Very well. Now dance for me!

02x05 - From Chunk to Hunk Season 2 / Episode 5: - From Chunk to Hunk

Fat Camp Counselor: [disappointed] You've lost two pounds.
Jay Sherman: Yes! Back to my college weight!
02x05 - From Chunk to Hunk Season 2 / Episode 5: - From Chunk to Hunk

Dennis Hopper: All right, hotshot! You think you're so smart? Let's see you read this book!
Keanu Reeves: Bogus!
Dennis Hopper: If you read under fifty words a minute, this book explodes! Ready? Begin!


Keanu Reeves: One... f-f-fish. "Twoah"... oh, no, TWO... f-f-f... oh, FISH! Red... f-f-f...
Dennis Hopper: It's 'fish,' you idiot! FISH!
Keanu Reeves: Dude, now I lost my place!

02x05 - From Chunk to Hunk Season 2 / Episode 5: - From Chunk to Hunk

Jean-Paul LePope: In my next film, Joe Piscopo and I play Siamese twins joined at the tongues. It's called


Jean-Paul LePope: "Part 2".
02x04 - A Song for Margo Season 2 / Episode 4: - A Song for Margo

Eleanor Sherman: First he stole my butler, now he's stealing my daughter!
Franklin Sherman: Well, he won't steal the silverware. I've glued that to the ceiling.


Jay Sherman: Uh, dad? I understand the silverware, but why the dog?
Franklin Sherman: You understand the silverware? Heh, heh! Cuckoo!
02x04 - A Song for Margo Season 2 / Episode 4: - A Song for Margo

Jay Sherman: Hmm. What's that sulfur smell coming from the egg bin? Oh, it must mean the eggs have ripened. Wait a minute! Eggs don't ripen! Eggs don't ripen!

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