Type
Scripted
Premiered
Aug. 23, 1998
Status
Completed/Ended
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
FOX TV Network
Genre
02x24 - Red Fired Up Season 2 / Episode 24: - Red Fired Up

Michael Kelso: Ya know guys, there are a lot of ladies out there and I haven't seen nearly enough of them naked. From now on, I'm gonna live free. I'm going to be boldly going where no man has gone before.


Michael Kelso: Is Laurie here?
Kitty Forman: [laughs] Don't you mean Eric?
Michael Kelso: No Laurie. Your other kid.


Steven Hyde: You're dating Laurie? Man, you're going where every man has gone before.
Kitty Forman: [turns around] Steven it is not nice to be so... truthful.


Laurie Forman: Hi Kelso.


Laurie Forman: Did you buy those for me?
Michael Kelso: Yep, just like you told me.
Laurie Forman: No, I told you roses! Come on doofus!


Steven Hyde: You know Mrs. Forman, those two could have the dumbest babies ever.
Kitty Forman: [starts to laugh then abruptly stops and turns toward Hyde] That's not funny
02x24 - Red Fired Up Season 2 / Episode 24: - Red Fired Up

Laurie Forman: [Jackie and Laurie are arguing in the basement] You better watch your back.
Jackie Burkhardt: Really? 'Cause you should stop spending so much time on *yours*
Michael Kelso: Burn! [Laurie looks shocked] Hey I'm sorry. I just got swept away by the super-good burn.
02x24 - Red Fired Up Season 2 / Episode 24: - Red Fired Up

Michael Kelso: [finishing Hyde's pizza] This doesn't taste like monkey butt!
02x24 - Red Fired Up Season 2 / Episode 24: - Red Fired Up

Reginald "Red" Forman: [about to give Earl his 'walking papers'] Eric, take your break anywhere but here.
02x24 - Red Fired Up Season 2 / Episode 24: - Red Fired Up

Laurie Forman: You better watch your back!
Jackie Burkhardt: Really? Cause you should stop spending so much time on yours.
02x24 - Red Fired Up Season 2 / Episode 24: - Red Fired Up

Earl: I'm sorry I'm late Red, my dog got hit by a car.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Earl, your dog also got hit on Tuesday. Just how dumb is your dog?
02x22 - Jackie Moves On Season 2 / Episode 22: - Jackie Moves On

Steven Hyde: Boy Laurie, you really like that hot dog... you didn't even chew it!
02x22 - Jackie Moves On Season 2 / Episode 22: - Jackie Moves On

Laurie Forman: Hey, Hyde. Going home, so you could ask another guy "Are you my daddy"?
Steven Hyde: Hey, Laurie. The surgeon general called, he told you to stop hording all the penicillin.
Laurie Forman: You know, you should watch your table manners. Because when you're in prison, that would just really turn on some guy named "Tank".
Steven Hyde: Oh, yeah? Well, maybe when you're there for a conjugal visit, you could ask him to take it easy on me.
Laurie Forman: Oh, yeah? Well... Nice hair.
Steven Hyde: Awww, Laurie... Are you out of put downs?
Laurie Forman: Yeah...
02x22 - Jackie Moves On Season 2 / Episode 22: - Jackie Moves On

Laurie Forman: Well, that's not as bad as when I walked in on you in bed with your Dorthy Hammil poster and you were all...
Eric Forman: LAURIE WAS BORN WITH A TAIL!
Steven Hyde: What?
Eric Forman: Yea! Laurie was born with a tail!
Laurie Forman: Yea! Laurie was born with a tail!
02x22 - Jackie Moves On Season 2 / Episode 22: - Jackie Moves On

Jackie Burkhardt: OK, Fez, I just want to thank you for last night. I know I wasn't my super-cute self, and I'm sorry. But you're a really good friend.
Fez: But Jackie, I was hoping that perhaps we could be more than friends?
Jackie Burkhardt: Well, hope springs eternal, Fez. How 'bout you just keep worshipping me from afar and stay available... just in case.
Fez: You would do that for me? That's a sweet deal!
02x20 - Kiss of Death Season 2 / Episode 20: - Kiss of Death

Red Forman: It's funny how you always manage to pull up the car right up to the garage, but not in it
Eric: Yeah it takes a keen eye and a sure foot
Red Forman: Would you like your keen eye to watch my sure foot kick your smart ass?
02x19 - Parents Find Out Season 2 / Episode 19: - Parents Find Out

Reginald "Red" Forman: [as Jackie tries to cheer Kitty up, after Kitty learns Eric and Donna are "sexually active"] Jackie? Oh, good, you're here. Now get out.
Jackie Burkhart: I'm trying to help.
Reginald "Red" Forman: You wanna help? Go make me a sandwich.
02x18 - Kitty and Eric's Night Out Season 2 / Episode 18: - Kitty and Eric's Night Out

Jackie Burkhart: [has a wide-eyed epiphany, while talking with Donna] Oh my God... I LIKE FEZ! [runs away, screaming]
02x17 - Afterglow Season 2 / Episode 17: - Afterglow

Fez: If there's one thing guys like us know, it's how to have sex. Oh, I cannot live with this lie. Everyone, prepare to be shocked. I, Fez, am still a virgin.
Eric Forman: [sarcastically] Gosh. My world no longer makes sense.
02x17 - Afterglow Season 2 / Episode 17: - Afterglow

Jackie Burkhart: Eric, if it makes you feel any better, Michael was really bad his first time, too.
Eric Forman: Oh, that's supposed to make me feel better?
Jackie Burkhart: Doesn't it?
Eric Forman: [realizes it does] Yeah, a little. Thanks, Jackie.
02x17 - Afterglow Season 2 / Episode 17: - Afterglow

Steven Hyde: Eric, I've been thinking about your problem with Donna. After hours of careful consideration, it still makes me laugh.
02x17 - Afterglow Season 2 / Episode 17: - Afterglow

Fez: I'm not really a virgin.
Fez: [pauses] Yes, I am.
02x17 - Afterglow Season 2 / Episode 17: - Afterglow

Steven Hyde: See Fez, you take all the partially consumed drinks. You mix them together to form one giant Uber-drink. In this case, Tom Wallbanger Bloody Sunrise On The Beach!
02x17 - Afterglow Season 2 / Episode 17: - Afterglow

Reginald "Red" Forman: We should celebrate! Come on, Kitty, let's get you pregnant!
Kitty Forman: [hits him]
Reginald "Red" Forman: I'm kidding! You know I can barely stand the kids we have!
02x17 - Afterglow Season 2 / Episode 17: - Afterglow

Steven Hyde: I think Donna and Forman finally made the beast with two backs
Eric Forman: Well, Hyde, I'm not saying yes and I'm not saying no, but... I'm especially not saying no!
02x17 - Afterglow Season 2 / Episode 17: - Afterglow

Steven Hyde: Look, Forman, if God had meant for virgins to lose it to other virgins, he wouldn't have given us middle-aged hookers, man!
02x16 - The First Time Season 2 / Episode 16: - The First Time

Michael Kelso: Rrrr, could you BE any more annoying?
Jackie Burkhardt: YES!
02x15 - Burning Down the House Season 2 / Episode 15: - Burning Down the House

Michael Kelso: Man, I wish Jackie would loosen up. She's throwing a great party down here and she's missing it.
Fez: Kelso, you don't get it, huh? This party meant the world to Jackie, and you crapped on it.
Steven Hyde: Alright, ease up on Kelso, huh?
Michael Kelso: Thanks, Hyde.
Steven Hyde: [sarcastically] Yeah, so you did something horrible, but it's Jackie, so who cares?
Michael Kelso: No wait, what are you saying?
Fez: I'm saying you burned her man, royally. Nice job.
Michael Kelso: But no, man, I didn't want to burn her. I invited all these people to her party so it would be fun, to make it good.
Fez: She didn't want a good party, she wanted her party.
Michael Kelso: You know what? You're right Fez. Alright, this party's over. Everybody out!
Eric Forman: No, Kelso, what are you saying man? Think!
Michael Kelso: You know what guys? For the first time in my life, I think I am thinking.


Michael Kelso: You know I'm in danger of ruining the greatest thing that's ever happened to me and I am not going to let that happen.


Steven Hyde: Kelso...
Michael Kelso: Do not interrupt me, this is important! From now on, I'm going to put Jackie's needs first and she's going to be so proud of me!


Michael Kelso: Whoa!


Michael Kelso: Whoa man, this is a rager! Give me your brandies!


Michael Kelso: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
02x15 - Burning Down the House Season 2 / Episode 15: - Burning Down the House

Jackie Burkhart: God, how dare you say that about me and Michael?
Donna Pinciotti: Jackie, you wanted my honest opinion.
Jackie Burkhart: Your honest opinion that we're great together. Look, you were wrong about Michael. He knows he made a mistake and he's going to make it up to me. You wait and see.


Michael Kelso: Uh, Jackie, where's the fire extinguisher?

02x13 - Hunting Season 2 / Episode 13: - Hunting

Steven Hyde: So you caught those birds with just a whistle and a stick? Very impressive, Fez.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, you know, that's a good way to hunt. Because even if you don't get anything, you still have all the fun of a whistle and a stick.
02x13 - Hunting Season 2 / Episode 13: - Hunting

Eric Forman: So where's Fez?
Bob Pinciotti: Kelso probably shot him.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Oh, I saw him walking into the woods right after we got here. Said he was going hunting. He had a whistle and a stick! [starts laughs]
Bob Pinciotti: Ah, crazy foreign bastard.


Fez: Let's eat.
02x13 - Hunting Season 2 / Episode 13: - Hunting

Fez: I like Midge.
Steven Hyde: Yeah, we all like Midge.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, Midge has nice jugs.
Bob Pinciotti: What?
Michael Kelso: What?
Bob Pinciotti: No, you said something.
Michael Kelso: [nervously] No I didn't. So what's up with your hair?
02x13 - Hunting Season 2 / Episode 13: - Hunting

Reginald "Red" Forman: What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you always so damn nervous?
Eric Forman: Oh, hmm, I don't know, maybe it's because you've been yelling at me for seventeen years?
02x13 - Hunting Season 2 / Episode 13: - Hunting

Steven Hyde: You know, he's never really warmed up to you.
Eric Forman: Going on 17 years now.
02x13 - Hunting Season 2 / Episode 13: - Hunting

Reginald "Red" Forman: I just thought that if you touched it, you wouldn't be afraid of it.
Eric Forman: Well, thank you, Dr. Spock!

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