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Dr. Mark Craig Quotes
|Season 1 / Episode 15: - Monday, Tuesday, Sven's Day|
Dr. Mark Craig: This is not a stag party, Ehrlich. Get a date! And while you're at it, get a haircut.
|Season 1 / Episode 3: - Down's Syndrome|
Dr. Mark Craig: What a rathole this is.
|Season 1 / Episode 2: - Bypass|
Dr. Mark Craig: [breezes into the room, almost bumping into a nurse on the way out] Excuse me. [Immediately opens Broadwater's file] Mr Broadwater. How are we this morning?
Mr. Broadwater: Feelin' pretty good.
Dr. Mark Craig: Well, I have some good news, and I have some bad. Two of the major vessels to your heart, the left anterior descending artery, and the circumflex artery, are 90% obstructed.
Mr. Broadwater: [stunned] But I feel fine.
Dr. Mark Craig: You didn't feel "fine" when you had those chest pains walking up a flight of stairs, now did you?
Mr. Broadwater: Did I have a heart attack?
Dr. Mark Craig: No, but when we put you on the treadmill, your electrocardiogram indicated ischemia. And the angiography - do you remember when we put the dye through the heart? Revealed obstructions... VERY serious obstructions.
Mr. Broadwater: [clutches his chest, breathing heavily] 90% obstructed?
Dr. Mark Craig: [holds up a long rubber tube] Let me show you something, Mr Broadwater - what does this look like to you?
Mr. Broadwater: A rubber tube.
Dr. Mark Craig: Arteries are tubes. They carry the blood and oxygen from the heart. Now, bear with me. If we obstruct the flow of blood and oxygen to the brain... [ties a tight knot in the tube]... What do you think happens?
Mr. Broadwater: [gets up unsteadily] I-I don't believe this. I'm only 40 years old here. Doc, you...
Dr. Mark Craig: [curtly, shouting] You're fat. You smoke. Your father died of a heart attack when he was 42.
Mr. Broadwater: But Doctor, there must be SOMETHING...
Dr. Mark Craig: You are walking a tightrope, Mr Broadwater. If it isn't the stairs today, it'll be washing the car tomorrow, or bouncing your little boy on your knee - or, if you're lucky, when you're sleeping.
Mr. Broadwater: [sits back down weakly] Ohhhh, my dear God.
Dr. Mark Craig: Now, for the good news. [pause] I'm going to save you.
Mr. Broadwater: How?
Dr. Mark Craig: Triple bypass.
Mr. Broadwater: Surgery?
Dr. Mark Craig: [nods firmly] We'll give you a few moments to think about it, notify your loved ones. Do I have your complete cooperation? [holds out his hand]
Mr. Broadwater: [shakes it half-heartedly]... I guess so.
Dr. Mark Craig: Excellent. [shakes Broadwater's hand, snaps the file shut, and breezes back out without further comment]
Dr. Mark Craig: "Premature is a relative term, Donald."
Dr. Mark Craig: I'm sick and tired of sacrificing residents, so you can feel like Mother Teresa.
Dr. Mark Craig: Do me a favor, say "moose and squirrel".
Natasha: [in her thick Russian accent] Moose and squirrel.
Dr. Mark Craig: That's what I thought.
Dr. Mark Craig: [looking at an x-ray] There's a liver not long for this world.
Dr. Daniel Auschlander: It's mine.
Dr. Wayne Fiscus: I have a hunch.
Dr. Mark Craig: So did Quasimodo.
Dr. Mark Craig: [to Ehrlich] You moron!
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