Type
Scripted
Premiered
Jul. 17, 1999
Status
Returning Series
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
Nickelodeon TV Network
Genre

Top Contributors

SpongeBob SquarePants tv show photo

SpongeBob SquarePants

Cartoon follows funny and witty misadventures of a sea sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea and works in fast-food restaurant 'Krusty Krab' in the town called Bikini Bottom. Cheerful SpongeBob SquarePants, his pet snail Gary and his BFF Patrick Star are always ready for new adventures and thats more that their arrogant neighbor Squidward Tentacles can handle.

03x08 - Krab Borg / Rock-a-Bye Bivalve Season 3 / Episode 8: - Krab Borg / Rock-a-Bye Bivalve

Squidward Tentacles: Can you take hats in a dignified and sophisticated manner?
Patrick Star: You mean like a weenie? Okay! [Patrick's eyes big and he talks in a goofy voice] May I take your hat, sir? May I take your hat, sir? May I...
Squidward Tentacles: All right, I've heard enough. You got the job.
03x08 - Krab Borg / Rock-a-Bye Bivalve Season 3 / Episode 8: - Krab Borg / Rock-a-Bye Bivalve

Reg: This place is too tough for you.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Too tough for me? That's downright ridiculous. I'll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for twenty minutes.
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

SpongeBob: [angry] When I need a JOB done I get someone with a JOB to do that JOB!
Squidward: What are you saying?
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Squidward: SpongeBob, the remotes broken. Get over here and fix it.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I have a better idea. Why don't I get someone whose *job* it is to fix it. See cause when I need a *job* done, I get somebody with a *job* to do that *job*.
Squidward: What are you saying?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Aaaaah! [screams loudly and pushes Squidward's bed to the Krusty Krab]
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Old Man: Hey, I saw you on TV last night.
SpongeBob: You did?
Old Man: Yeah, you were in a commercial.
SpongeBob: You're right. I was.


SpongeBob: Well, I have to go to work. See you later, old man.
Old Man: See you later, Bran Flakes. What a nice cereal box.
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Old Man Jenkins: Hey, I saw you on TV last night!
SpongeBob SquarePants: [delighted] Oh, did you? How nice!
Old Man Jenkins: [cue shot of Bran Flakes box] You were very good on that advert.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Why, thank you sir! Bye bye!
Old Man Jenkins: [while Spongebob walks away] You are a good cereal box!
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Squidward, what in Neptune's name is going on here?
Squidward: We're making a commercial.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: What you're doing is wasting all my money. I told you to rent out only what's absolutely necessary.
Squidward: This is all absolutely necessary.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Then what's all this useless junk?
Squidward: That's the useless junk for scene, uh, 28.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Then how do you explain that? A second Krusty Krab.
Squidward: Everyone needs an understudy.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: [Looking at his look-alike] Well, you got me there. But what about him? [Points to a clown]
Squidward: This job can get very stressful, Mr. Krabs.
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Squidward: I can be anything I set my mind to. I can be a football player, or a king, or a spaceman.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Or a football-playing king in space, with a moustache.
Squidward: Yeah. Uh-huh. You know, that reminds me. There's something I've always wanted to tell you since the first day I met you: Goodbye.
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

SpongeBob SquarePants: But a visit to the Krusty Krab makes everyone happy, and what could be better than handing out smiles?
Squidward: Being dead, or anything else.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I never knew you felt so strongly about it.
Squidward: Where have you been?
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Squidward: Are you accussing me of something?
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Give to the Children's fund? What have the children ever done for me?
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Gary: [apathetically] Meow...
SpongeBob: [gasps in anger] Gary! Squidward is not a freeloader, and he would never take advantage of me!
Narrator: Three weeks later...
SpongeBob: [exhausted] He's just having a hard time getting his confidence back.


Narrator: Many months later...
SpongeBob: [totally exhausted] I'm sure he's close to a breakthrough.


New Narrator: So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.


Gary: [annoyed] Meow, meow, meow!
SpongeBob: [furious] I know he's still isn't looking for work! Don't rub it in!!
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Where's Spongebob?
SpongeBob SquarePants: [Under the ground] Down here, sir.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: What are you doing down there, boy?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward said I can help by burying myself.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Well, get out of there. I need you to help with the commercial.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Me, in the Krusty Krab commercial, me!
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Squidward: Don't you get it? I'm a loser! I lost my job, my home, everything!
SpongeBob: [gasps] Even your paintings?
Squidward: Nobody would take them. So I had to eat them.

03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

SpongeBob: [to Gary] Squidward is not a freeloader and he would never take advantage of me.
03x07 - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty Season 3 / Episode 7: - The Algae's Always Greener / Sponge Guard on Duty

Mr. Krabs: [counting] one, two, blue, applesauce...
03x06 - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns Season 3 / Episode 6: - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns

Mr. Krabs: Am I really going to defile a grave for money? Of course I am.
03x06 - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns Season 3 / Episode 6: - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns

Squidward Tentacles: Thanks, but no thanks, Major Stupidity! You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me!
03x06 - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns Season 3 / Episode 6: - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns

Patrick: How much is it?
Mr. Krabs: Five dollars.
Patrick: All what I have is seven.
Mr. Krabs: Deal.
Patrick: Patrick Star, you are one smart shopper.
03x06 - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns Season 3 / Episode 6: - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns

Plankton: What's this? Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy to rule the world! [Snowflakes pile up on top of him] Stop! I wish to rule you!
03x06 - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns Season 3 / Episode 6: - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns

Mr. Krabs: [Attempting to convince SpongeBob to give him a hat] I didn't want to tell you this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Am I a pretty girl?
Mr. Krabs: Well... yes, you're... you're beautiful.

03x06 - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns Season 3 / Episode 6: - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns

SpongeBob SquarePants: [arrives at Mr. Krabs' yard sale with Patrick] Hi Mr. Krabs
Patrick: What are you doing?
Mr. Krabs: I'm having an antique sale, have a look around
SpongeBob SquarePants: [picks up a toilet plunger] Hey Patrick look at this thing, pretty cool huh?
Patrick: That looks Ike the toilet plunger I threw out yesterday
Mr. Krabs: [takes it from SpongeBob] That ain't no toilet plunger, this here's an antique! It's um... uh [turns the rubber part inside out] a 17th century soup ladle, see?
Patrick: Man was I using mine wrong!
03x06 - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns Season 3 / Episode 6: - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns

Mr. Krabs: [draws a ghost on a piece of paper and attaches it to a fishing pole] This'll scare him [dangles it in front of Spongebob's window while he's asleep moaning like a ghost]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [wakes up] Oh my gosh, a floating shopping list! [screams]
Mr. Krabs: [looks at the paper which reads "milk, eggs, bread"] I'm not a shopping list [turns it over] I'm a ghost!
SpongeBob SquarePants: No!
Mr. Krabs: Now listen SpongeBob!
SpongeBob SquarePants: How do you know my name? Who are you?
Mr. Krabs: I am the ghost of soda drink hats [draws a picture of the soda drink hat he gave SpongeBob and hangs it in front of the window] I'm here to tell you that that soda drinking hat you posess is cursed!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Cursed?
Mr. Krabs: Yes it belongs to some guy who's dead now
SpongeBob SquarePants: What guy?
Mr. Krabs: Uh... Smitty something
SpongeBob SquarePants: Smitty what?
Mr. Krabs: Uh, Smitty... Werben... Jaegerman... Jenson
03x06 - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns Season 3 / Episode 6: - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns

Mr. Krabs: I've checked every headstone in this cemetery and there's no Smitty Wabbablahblah in here. Think Mr. Krabs maybe something SpongeBob said will give you some type of clue
SpongeBob SquarePants: [in a thought balloon] Remember licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets
Mr. Krabs: No not that!
SpongeBob SquarePants: [in another thought balloon] You'll never guess what I found in my sock last night, go ahead guess!
Mr. Krabs: No,no,no!
SpongeBob SquarePants: It was his hat Mr. Krabs, he was number one!
Mr. Krabs: [punches the thought balloon] Ah barnacles!, I'll never find... [notices a tombstone with a number 1 that reads Smitty Weber Man Jensen] The grave!, am I really going to defile this grave for money? [thinks for a moment] Of course I am! [starts digging away]
03x06 - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns Season 3 / Episode 6: - No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns

Mr. Krabs: [opens the coffin and finds the hat attached to a dead fish's head] Jackpot! Oh it's beautiful come to papa! [takes the hat along with Smitty's skull] Hey come on, Smitty let go! [shakes the hat until the head falls off] Rest in pieces Smitty [jumps out of the grave] I got the million dollar hat! [lightning strikes Smitty's corpse and he rises from his grave holding his severed head]
Smitty: Hey man that's my hat, give it back!
Mr. Krabs: What? No way, just crawl back into your hole bone boy! Go ahead play dead!
Smitty: I guess I'm going to have to take it from you
Mr. Krabs: Yeah right, you and what army?
Smitty: [shows him other fish skeletons rising from their graves] Only the army of the living dead [the dead fish walk towards Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: [scared] Oh no, I've seen this on the late show! You ghoulish fiends hold me down and take turns nibbling on my innards, then you eat my brain and leave my body for the buzzards!
Smitty: That's disgusting! We just want the hat back
Mr. Krabs: No flipping way! [takes off the head of a swordfish and uses it as a sword] Back off, back off I say!
Smitty: [in a monotonous manner] Attack!
03x05 - As Seen on TV / Can You Spare a Dime? Season 3 / Episode 5: - As Seen on TV / Can You Spare a Dime?

Mrs. Poppy Puff: Okay, you can do this, Puff. You can get through this without losing your sanity. Oh, that's a road we don't want to go down again. Positives. Think of the positives. Let's see... I've got no more papers to grade. Yeah! In fact, no more work. No more boating school classes. No more driving, no more SpongeBob... [her brain clicks]... no more phone solicitors, no more SpongeBob, no more company potlucks, no more SpongeBob, no more road rage, no more SpongeBob, no more insurance payments, no more SpongeBob, no more SpongeBob... [laughing and speaking maniacally]... no more SpongeBob, no more SpongeBob! [sighs] I think I'm gonna like this place.
03x05 - As Seen on TV / Can You Spare a Dime? Season 3 / Episode 5: - As Seen on TV / Can You Spare a Dime?

Squidward Tentacles: SpongeBob will you just face facts? You've shrunken everyone in Bikini Bottom! You've got to go to Mermaid Man!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh Squidward he'll be so disappointed.
Sandy Cheeks: Well you can't leave us small forever!
SpongeBob SquarePants: [on the verge of tears] But you don't understand!
Mrs. SquarePants: [Spongebob's parents appear in the jar] SpongeBob you need to admit your mistakes
SpongeBob SquarePants: Mom?
Mermaid Man: Your mother's right son, Mermaid Man will understand
Barnacle Boy: You're Mermaid Man you old coot!
Mermaid Man: Oh yeah.
03x05 - As Seen on TV / Can You Spare a Dime? Season 3 / Episode 5: - As Seen on TV / Can You Spare a Dime?

SpongeBob SquarePants: [about using Mermaid Man's belt to return Squidward to normal size] If only I knew how to work this thing!
Patrick Star: Let me take a look at it. [looks at the belt for a while] Hmmm, you know what the problem is?
SpongeBob SquarePants: What?
Patrick Star: You got it set to "M" for mini, when it should be set to "W" for wumbo [turns the M on the belt upside down]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Partrick I don't think wumbo is a real word
Patrick Star: Oh come on SpongeBob! You know, I wumbo, You wumbo, He she me wumbo, wumbo, Wumboing, We'll have thee wumbo, Wumborama, Wumbology, The study of wumbo? It's first grade SpongeBob!
Squidward Tentacles: [looking down while he is being held in Patrick's hand] I wonder if a fall from this height could be enough to kill me?
03x05 - As Seen on TV / Can You Spare a Dime? Season 3 / Episode 5: - As Seen on TV / Can You Spare a Dime?

SpongeBob SquarePants: Alright, put the money in the bag! PUT IT IN!
Bank Teller: Umm, you're facing the wrong way, sir.
SpongeBob SquarePants: [laughs, then turns around to face teller] ALRIGHT, GIVE ME THE MONEY!
Bank Teller: Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uhh, savings.
Bank Teller: May I please see some identification?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sure. [he hands teller his Jellyfishers Club Membership card] Here ya go.
Bank Teller: Thank you. [briefly types on cash register] Sir, we are showing a balance of $0.00 for both of your accounts.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh.
Bank Teller: Next!
03x04 - Nasty Patty / The Idiot Box Season 3 / Episode 4: - Nasty Patty / The Idiot Box

Squidward: Let me get this straight. You two bought a big screen television just so you could play in the box?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Pretty smart, huh?
Patrick: I thought it wouldn't work.

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