Type
Scripted
Premiered
Jan. 25, 2007
Status
Completed/Ended
Runtime
60 min.
Country
UK
Network
E4 TV Network
Genre
03x02 - Cook Season 3 / Episode 2: - Cook

Cook: It's got potential this day. It's pregnant
03x01 - Everyone Season 3 / Episode 1: - Everyone

Freddie McLair: [standing next to Effy, she closes her locker and looks at him] Hi.
Effy Stonem: [turns to face him] Hi.
Freddie McLair: You don't mind if I take this locker? [nodding to a locker next to Effy's]
Effy Stonem: You can take anything if you want it enough.
Freddie McLair: Great. Everything's new I suppose we should probably, like, you know, all get to know each other.
Effy Stonem: Why?
Freddie McLair: Well um... I don't know. You definitely looked at me this morning, twice. And I just thought, you know, maybe we could get to know each other.
Effy Stonem: I look at lots of people. That doesn't mean I want to get to know them. [starts to walk away, but turns back] Do you want me to want to get to know you?
Freddie McLair: I, er, I wouldn't mind.
Effy Stonem: Thing is, they want to get to know me too.
Freddie McLair: [Freddie looks over to Cook and JJ, turning back to look at Effy] They're just wankers.
Effy Stonem: They're your best friends.
Freddie McLair: OK, so they're my best friends.
Effy Stonem: That makes it complicated, doesn't it.
Freddie McLair: I, um, I was hoping not. [Effy nods] I'm Freddie. [putting out his hand to shake]
Effy Stonem: [Effy ignores this and walks back around him to her locker] Tell you what, Freddie. [Effy gets a piece of paper out of her locker and hands it to Freddie] Fill in a form.
Freddie McLair: What's this? [Freddie takes the paper]
Effy Stonem: A list of all the things were not allowed to do at this college. Like that head director girl said before your bestest mate got his cock out. I was gonna see if I could tick 'em all before the end of the day, but this is much more interesting. First one to fill that out gets to... get to know me. And no cheating, I'll need evidence.
Freddie McLair: OK.
Effy Stonem: [Effy walking off] 'cause I won't fuck a cheat.
Freddie McLair: [calling after her] Sorry? [Effy looks back at him, then carries on walking]
03x01 - Everyone Season 3 / Episode 1: - Everyone

JJ: Do you know what Naomi is spelled backwards?
Cook: What?
JJ: I moan.
03x01 - Everyone Season 3 / Episode 1: - Everyone

Katie: [talking about Naomi to Effy] Yeah, like, don't talk to her. She tried to snog my sister at middle school. Pervy, don't you think, Ef?
Emily: Leave it, Katie.
Naomi: [from behind her] Watch out, Katie. I might get confused and fuck you with my great big strap-on by mistake.
03x01 - Everyone Season 3 / Episode 1: - Everyone

Cook: It's not about the destination. It's about the journey
03x01 - Everyone Season 3 / Episode 1: - Everyone

Pandora Moon: Pandora: I'm definitely going to have surf and turf asap. Mum says boys only want one thing, so my plan is to give it to them lots of times, get good at it, be really popular, and maybe my toes will stop throbbing.
02x10 - Everyone Season 2 / Episode 10: - Everyone

Michelle Richardson: We were good, weren't we?
Tony Stonem: We were better than that.
02x10 - Everyone Season 2 / Episode 10: - Everyone

Tony Stonem: Three things, Sid. 1: Get rid of the hat, it makes you look retarded.
Sid Jenkins: Right.
Tony Stonem: [Tony kisses his forehead] 2: I always loved you the best, Sid. 3... I can't think of a three. [Tony hugs him]
02x10 - Everyone Season 2 / Episode 10: - Everyone

Sid Jenkins: The three of us. Together again. And we've all seen each other naked. Which is... nice.
02x10 - Everyone Season 2 / Episode 10: - Everyone

Tony Stonem: She's thin, she's blond, she says wow a lot.
02x10 - Everyone Season 2 / Episode 10: - Everyone

Maxxie Oliver: Fuck the future dude. Come to London, have a laugh.
02x10 - Everyone Season 2 / Episode 10: - Everyone

Graham Miles: Hi. Can I speak to Sid Jenkins?
Sid Jenkins: You are.
Graham Miles: Oh! You're Sid? I imagined you'd be fatter, with bigger ears...
02x10 - Everyone Season 2 / Episode 10: - Everyone

Sid Jenkins: New York? Why would I wanna go to New York?
Tony Stonem: She's thin, she's blonde, and she says "Wow..." a lot.
02x09 - Cassie Season 2 / Episode 9: - Cassie

Cassie Ainsworth: I'll love you forever, Sid.
Sid Jenkins: You will?
Cassie Ainsworth: Yes. That's the problem.
02x09 - Cassie Season 2 / Episode 9: - Cassie

Chris Miles: What happened to my grapes?
Cassie Ainsworth: Anwar ate them.
Chris Miles: Oh. Yeah, well, he's a bloody grapist.
02x08 - Jal Season 2 / Episode 8: - Jal

Jal Fazer: Chris, what's wrong?
Chris Miles: The sky is blue and the grass is green... everything's cool.
Jal Fazer: What pills do you take?
Chris Miles: Everything. I stick the packets on my wall.
Jal Fazer: What pills?
Chris Miles: Ssshhh it's a secret. No one knows. And don't tell Jal cause if you tell Jal she won't move in with me anymore.
Jal Fazer: I'm pregnant. I'm about to have a baby. Or I might have to... I want...

02x08 - Jal Season 2 / Episode 8: - Jal

Jal Fazer: [in Spanish] Chelle, estoy embarazada!
Michelle: [pause] What? What the fuck is "embarazada"?
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Madame Deluca: And what emotion have you chosen to depict?
Effy Stonem: Anger, Jealousy, Bitterness, Tiredness, Hope, Lust, Love.
Madame Deluca: A veritable feast. So where is it?
Effy Stonem: It's everywhere.
Madame Deluca: My dear girl, I'm not sure I understand.
Effy Stonem: Its conceptual. You just can't see it.
Madame Deluca: Your saying you haven't done it?
Effy Stonem: No I'm saying you can't see it.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Cassie Ainsworth: [showing them her slugs] That one's called Sidley and that's Mischa. Isn't Mischa just so pretty. Look at Sidley, sliming all over her. Disgusting, isn't he?
Pandora: Are they doing it?
Cassie Ainsworth: Yes, they are doing it. When I'm ready, I'll pour salt on them. When I'm good and ready.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Sid Jenkins: It's *you and me*. You know that and you're being stupid.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Sid Jenkins: I hate you.
Cassie Ainsworth: I hate you right back. Why don't you pop over to Michelle's and give her one? Oh, *another* one!
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Sid Jenkins: I don't love Michelle, I never loved Michelle, I love you, but you, you... Where were you? Dad fucking died. I needed you.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Effy Stonem: Love, love, love... what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Madame Deluca: With great breasts comes great responsibility.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Pandora: Your brother is really nice.
Effy Stonem: He's not nice. He's amazing.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Tony Stonem: She was my girlfriend.
Sid Jenkins: She wasn't your girlfriend. You didn't want her.
Tony Stonem: Well, now I do, so fuck you.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Pandora: Hi, mum. Yeah, we're just picking up. [lowers the phone and talks to Effy] She wants to know what we're picking up.
Effy Stonem: Drugs.
Pandora: [to her mother] Salad.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Effy Stonem: Why bother?
Tony Stonem: With what?
Effy Stonem: Caring about people.
Tony Stonem: [walking slowly up to her, then muttering in her ear] You don't fool me, Effy Stonem.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Effy Stonem: You don't understand, do you, Ton? As long as the phone keeps ringing, she's still there.
02x07 - Effy Season 2 / Episode 7: - Effy

Michelle Richardson: [finally picking up] I love you too. [hangs up, and Tony smiles peacefully]

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