Type
Scripted
Premiered
Jan. 14, 1972
Status
Canceled/Ended
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
NBC TV Network
Genre

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Characters: #2 of 12 (Full List)

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Lamont Sanford Sanford and Son

Lamont Sanford

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  Played by:
Demond WilsonDemond Wilson
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Lamont Sanford Quotes

03x18 - The Party Crasher Season 3 / Episode 18: - The Party Crasher

Lamont Sanford: [Opens the door for Rollo, who is wearing a snazzy suit] Hey, Rollo! I see you got yourself a few new threads.
Rollo Larson: No, baby, this is the whole spool!
03x18 - The Party Crasher Season 3 / Episode 18: - The Party Crasher

Rollo Larson: Aw, man, quit thinking' about that; most cats cut out when they're sixteen. You got to cut out sometime. How old are you?
Lamont Sanford: Thirty-one.
Rollo Larson: Well what're you waitin' on, Medicare?
03x17 - Fred's Cheating Heart Season 3 / Episode 17: - Fred's Cheating Heart

Lamont Sanford: [Telling his father of his plans to marry Julio's sister] But look on the bright side of it, Pop. When we have our first son we'll name him after you. We'll call him Fredrico! Litte Fredrico Manuel Fuentes Sanford!
Fred G. Sanford: [Staggering, hand over his heart] Oh, no! This is the biggest one I ever had! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm comin' to join ya, honey... with an invitation to a Puerto Rican wedding!
03x14 - Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe Season 3 / Episode 14: - Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe

Lamont Sanford: [after Grip has claimed to be Lamont's father, Lamont turns to Fred] Hey, man, this is my father, the only Pop I've ever known. Now, all my life it's been Sanford and Son, and, as far as I'm concerned, that's the way it's gonna always be.
03x13 - Wine, Women and Aunt Esther (a.k.a.) Leaving the Nest Season 3 / Episode 13: - Wine, Women and Aunt Esther (a.k.a.) Leaving the Nest

Fred G. Sanford: [Discussing his new outlook on life] Fun, fun, fun, son. Bring on the wine, women and the song.
Lamont Sanford: Pop, at your age you can't afford to do that.
Fred G. Sanford: Why not?
Lamont Sanford: Because if you have too much wine and women, the song is gonna be "Nearer My God To Thee."
03x13 - Wine, Women and Aunt Esther (a.k.a.) Leaving the Nest Season 3 / Episode 13: - Wine, Women and Aunt Esther (a.k.a.) Leaving the Nest

Lamont Sanford: [Looking incredulously at his father's loud outfit] What have you got on?
Fred G. Sanford: It's a Super Fly suit. What's it look like?
Lamont Sanford: It looks like you got on a floral arrangement from Junior Cooper's funeral.
03x12 - Grady, the Star Boarder Season 3 / Episode 12: - Grady, the Star Boarder

Lamont Sanford: [In response to Fred's planning a romantic getaway with Donna to Disneyland] Yeah, but I'd like to know what's so romantic about Disneyland?
Fred G. Sanford: Disneyland Motel.
Lamont Sanford: You're a dirty old man, you know that?
Fred G. Sanford: And I'm gonna be one till I'm a dead old man.
03x12 - Grady, the Star Boarder Season 3 / Episode 12: - Grady, the Star Boarder

Fred G. Sanford: [Fred reading a recipe from the newspaper's food section] Here it is right here. It says, "Tempt your guests with this delicious, appetizing horse diver."
Lamont Sanford: Wait a minute, let me see that. That's not "horse diver." It's French. That's horz dee ovary.
03x10 - The Blind Mellow Jelly Collection (a.k.a.) The Chameleon Season 3 / Episode 10: - The Blind Mellow Jelly Collection (a.k.a.) The Chameleon

Fred G. Sanford: Wait a minute, Bubba! Don't sit down there!
Bubba Bexley: What? What'd I do?
Fred G. Sanford: It's not what you did, it's what you were about to do.You nearly sat on the last Blind Mellow Jelly Album on the whole West Coast!
Bubba Bexley: Boy, I'm sure glad you stopped me, Fred.
Fred G. Sanford: Yeah, if you'd have sat on that record your name would've been Mudd! [Moves the record] Now sit down.


Lamont Sanford: Bubba, I'd like you to meet my father, Mr. Mudd.
03x09 - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement Season 3 / Episode 9: - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement

Lamont Sanford: [Lamont and Rollo are looking for dates, Rollo flipping through his little black book] Hey, man, what about Dimples and Leigh?
Rollo Larson: Dimples and Leigh? The gruesome twosome? You is a fool. We ain't that hard up... Hey, I wonder if I still got their numbers.
Lamont Sanford: Look under DT for "desperation time."
Rollo Larson: No, here it is, under LR for "last resort."
03x09 - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement Season 3 / Episode 9: - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement

Aunt Esther Anderson: [Asking about Fred's fiancee] And what did you say her name was?
Lamont Sanford: Donna.
Aunt Esther Anderson: Donna?
Lamont Sanford: Yeah, Donna. It means "lady."
Aunt Esther Anderson: Is that so? I once had a dog named Lady.
03x09 - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement Season 3 / Episode 9: - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement

Lamont Sanford: [after telling Fred his in-laws are coming to the wedding] Look, Pop, will you stop worrying? They're not gonna be here that long.
Fred G. Sanford: That's what the Indians said when they first saw the white man comin'.
03x09 - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement Season 3 / Episode 9: - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement

Fred G. Sanford: And you knew it, you planned it.
Lamont Sanford: Wait a minute pop now don't jump to no conclusions.
Fred G. Sanford: All I'm jumping to is upside your head.
Fred G. Sanford: [Talking to Rev Tremble] Now look here Reverend you didn't preach no marriage but stick around you can preach the funeral!
03x09 - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement Season 3 / Episode 9: - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement

Fred G. Sanford: I knew if you invited them here there would be something like this I told you I knew it I knew.
Fred G. Sanford: [Looks at Lamont and realizes Lamont set the whole thing up] And you knew it you planned IT!
Lamont Sanford: Wait a minute pop don't jump to no conclusions.
Fred G. Sanford: All I'm jumping to is up side your head!
03x09 - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement Season 3 / Episode 9: - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement

Fred G. Sanford: [Referring to Esther] She going to bring Woody the wino?
Lamont Sanford: Yea I believe so.
Fred G. Sanford: That does it I'm going to have to hide my Ripple, my Gin, my Bourbon ,my Rye, going to have to hide my bug spray, my Draino.
03x08 - Superflyer Season 3 / Episode 8: - Superflyer

Lamont Sanford: [Examining the contents of Fred's pocket after he set off the airport metal detector] A crucifix? A St. Christopher's medal? A Star of David? A Crescent of Islam? And a Buddha?
Fred G. Sanford: [Bringing up his hand] And a mojo.
Lamont Sanford: [Exasperated] What do you need all these things for?
Fred G. Sanford: Flight insurance. Y'see, down here on the ground I'm a Baptist, but up there I ain't takin' no chances.
03x08 - Superflyer Season 3 / Episode 8: - Superflyer

Lamont Sanford: [In response to Fred's insulting remarks about Uncle Leotis] C'mon, Pop, show some respect. The man just died.
Fred G. Sanford: One less ugly person in the world! And he was ugly. He looked like a fried monkey in the face. Had an old peanut-shaped head; every time it rained it had a big puddle of water in the middle of it.
03x03 - Fred, the Reluctant Fingerman Season 3 / Episode 3: - Fred, the Reluctant Fingerman

Lamont Sanford: When I was a kid, you was the one that always told me to "Love thy neighbor."
Fred G. Sanford: I didn't know the neighborhood was gonna change this fast.
03x02 - Libra Rising All Over Lamont Season 3 / Episode 2: - Libra Rising All Over Lamont

Lamont Sanford: [Lamont speaking with his hypochondriac father notices the book beside him in bed] Hey, wait a minute, what's that? Don't tell me that's a Bible?
Fred G. Sanford: What'd you think it is? What's wrong with that?
Lamont Sanford: Nothing. It's just I ain't never seen you so close to one before.
Fred G. Sanford: I ain't never felt this close to the one who wrote it before.
03x02 - Libra Rising All Over Lamont Season 3 / Episode 2: - Libra Rising All Over Lamont

Fred G. Sanford: Why you smilin' at me like Bela Lugosi?
Lamont Sanford: Well, can't I smile at my own father?
02x23 - The Kid Season 2 / Episode 23: - The Kid

Fred G. Sanford: [Offering Jason a drink as they sit down to eat] What about a beer?
Lamont Sanford: Pop, children do not drink beer.
Fred G. Sanford: What's wrong with that? It's just got some barley and some grain and stuff in it. Y'know, it's just corn flakes in a can.
02x22 - Pot Luck Season 2 / Episode 22: - Pot Luck

Lamont Sanford: You know the number Bonnet gave me it was to a McDonald's hamburger place.
Fred G. Sanford: The question is where is Mr.Bonnet? Maybe you should call McDonald's in Rome.
02x19 - The Infernal Triangle Season 2 / Episode 19: - The Infernal Triangle

Lamont Sanford: [Addressing his father, who is drunk and singing] You're just full of songs tonight. And what else are you full of, Muscatel?
Fred G. Sanford: No. We were drinking Muscatel and Ripple. In fact, I call it Muscatipple.
02x19 - The Infernal Triangle Season 2 / Episode 19: - The Infernal Triangle

Lamont Sanford: [after Fred returns from calling a cab at the neighbor's home] Pop, Judy and I are lovers!
Fred G. Sanford: [Stunned] But, I wasn't gone but five minutes.
02x19 - The Infernal Triangle Season 2 / Episode 19: - The Infernal Triangle

Lamont Sanford: Hey, Pop, if women got all these bad qualities, how come you chase after 'em like you do?
Fred G. Sanford: Well, son, you know what the Bible says. Woman was made from a rib. I can live without a lot of things, but I can't live without ribs.
02x18 - Watts Side Story Season 2 / Episode 18: - Watts Side Story

Lamont Sanford: The problem with you Pop is that you're not very broad-minded.
Fred Sanford: You know I'm broad-minded. Remember the time that white woman come by here taking a census? Didn't I let her use the toilet?
02x18 - Watts Side Story Season 2 / Episode 18: - Watts Side Story

Fred Sanford: [Trying to convince Lamont not to date Maria] It's wrong. It's just wrong. And it's dangerous.
Lamont Sanford: Dangerous? Why?
Fred Sanford: You could be attacked by Sharks.
Lamont Sanford: What are you talking about?
Fred Sanford: D'you remember that movie, "West Side Story"? See, the Sharks was a gang of Puerto Ricans and they got that guy for takin' that Maria out. And he was Irish, so you can imagine what's gonna happen to you.
02x17 - Lamont Goes African Season 2 / Episode 17: - Lamont Goes African

Fred G. Sanford: [Lamont lays down the law to his lazy father] We gonna get some oojima in this house starting today.
Fred G. Sanford: [Puzzled] Some who?
Lamont Sanford: Some oojima.
Fred G. Sanford: [Turning to his friend] Bubba, you ever hear of oojima?
Bubba Bexley: No, but I know Big Jima.
Fred G. Sanford: Yeah, she's the stripper over at that topless joint.
Bubba Bexley: [Both men clap their hands and laugh] Yeah!
02x17 - Lamont Goes African Season 2 / Episode 17: - Lamont Goes African

Fred G. Sanford: [addressing his dashiki-wearing son] So what's your original new name?
Lamont Sanford: Kalunda.
Fred G. Sanford: Ka-who?
Lamont Sanford: Kalunda.
Fred G. Sanford: If you think I'm gonna change the sign from Sanford and Son to Sanford and Kalunda you're crazy.
02x17 - Lamont Goes African Season 2 / Episode 17: - Lamont Goes African

Fred G. Sanford: Listen, Lamont...
Lamont Sanford: Not Lamont! Kalunda! Kah-loon-dah. Say it.
Fred G. Sanford: Calendar.

Previous: Fred G. Sanford Next: Aunt Esther Anderson
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