Type
Scripted
Premiered
Feb. 20, 2005
Status
Returning Series
Runtime
15 min.
Country
USA
Network
Adult Swim TV Network
Genre

Top Contributors

Robot Chicken tv show photo

Robot Chicken

This animated program was created by Seth Green and Matthew Senreich. The stop-motion series currently airs on the late-night programming block "Adult Swim". The humor of this show is described as "random."

07x10 - Catdog on a Stick Season 7 / Episode 10: - Catdog on a Stick

Dr. Doom: How could you allow this to happen?
Mr. Fantastic: It was part of the show's premise, what was I supposed to do?
Dr. Doom: Oh, I don't know, maybe NOT PIT A HOUSEWIFE AGAINST THE POWER OF DOOM?
07x10 - Catdog on a Stick Season 7 / Episode 10: - Catdog on a Stick

Invisible Woman: I have to make dinner every night? Wow, what did I sign up for?
07x01 - G.I. Jogurt Season 7 / Episode 1: - G.I. Jogurt

Cobra Commander: Look at them, Destro! The Joes churn out pedestrian advice to dead-eyed children, and the public eats it up! "Hey kids, don't play with poles and electric lights!" - reads like a dispatch from the No Shit Clinic!
Destro: I'll get the nerve gas!
Cobra Commander: No, you fool, we'll beat them at their own game! We will create our own PSAs!
07x01 - G.I. Jogurt Season 7 / Episode 1: - G.I. Jogurt

Baroness: [enters] Oh, I forgot you guys were in here writing! I was just looking for a hammer to hang my degree in screenwriting from Applebee's! Anything I can do for you while I'm in here? [pause]
Baroness: Destro?
Destro: She's actually really funny, guys...
Cobra Commander: You lost me at "She's". Fuck it, we're doing it without a script!
07x01 - G.I. Jogurt Season 7 / Episode 1: - G.I. Jogurt

Cobra Commander: Okay, Storm Shadow, these two children will be running with scissors. Now this upsets you, and...
Storm Shadow: Why?
Cobra Commander: Well, it's dangerous to run with scissors!
Storm Shadow: I run with katana! Is that not dangerous?
Cobra Commander: Wow, I hadn't thought of that! Excellent point, Storm Shadow!


Cobra Commander: Get this piece of shit off my set!


Storm Shadow: Well, Cobra Commander, looks like I owe you an apology...
07x01 - G.I. Jogurt Season 7 / Episode 1: - G.I. Jogurt

Cobra Commander: [reading to two children] And I think you'll find it's not hard to read when you take the time to... sssound it out. [the children giggle]
Cobra Commander: Oh, yes, I have a sssmall ssspeech impediment. [the children laugh]
Cobra Commander: IT'S NOT FUNNY! [his helmet falls off, and the children are horrified at his scar-torn face. Commander pulls out a gun and shoots the children]
Cobra Commander: Shut. It. Down!
07x01 - G.I. Jogurt Season 7 / Episode 1: - G.I. Jogurt

Destro: Pump the nerve gas!
06x20 - Immortal Season 6 / Episode 20: - Immortal

Zeb Wells: Why is Joss Whedon a zombie?
Seth Green: Punishment. We told him about this place over drinks. The next thing we know "Cabin in the Woods" was in theaters nationwide.
Matthew Senreich: People weren't necessarily *in* those theaters...
Seth Green: Regardless, we made him a zombie.
06x18 - Robot Fight Accident Season 6 / Episode 18: - Robot Fight Accident

The Nerd: [crying] I want my virginity back!
06x16 - Eaten by Cats Season 6 / Episode 16: - Eaten by Cats

Chop Chop Master Onion: PaRappa! You never return my phone calls! So now eat bullets and lick my balls!
06x04 - Poisoned by Relatives Season 6 / Episode 4: - Poisoned by Relatives

Kermit the Frog: [Miss Piggy breaks Kermit's pelvis during sex] Get off of me, you fucking wildebeest!
06x04 - Poisoned by Relatives Season 6 / Episode 4: - Poisoned by Relatives

Sagat: We meet again, Ryu. Only this time, we fight TO THE DEATH!
Ryu: Actually, no. It's, uh, to Knock-Out, best two out of three. Remember? It was all covered in the packet.
Sagat: Uh... sorry, what now?
Ryu: [pulling out a packet] The packet I spent weeks putting together? You don't have your packet?
Sagat: Oh, right, right! No, I have it. It's just... it's in the bag... [starts searching his bag]
06x04 - Poisoned by Relatives Season 6 / Episode 4: - Poisoned by Relatives

Ryu: [on phone] Well, Ken, if your opponent's late, you give him a call. There's a contact sheet in the packet.
Ken Masters: [not looking] Let's see... contact sheet, contact sheet... no, I don't see it. You must've forgotten to put it in.
06x04 - Poisoned by Relatives Season 6 / Episode 4: - Poisoned by Relatives

Ryu: [on phone] What's the problem, Guile?
Guile: I'll tell you the problem: E. Honda's venue is a bathhouse! Like a full-on "We're all guys here, so let's get naked" bathhouse!
E. Honda: What? In my culture, it's a familiar setting.
Guile: Hey, no one told me I'd be fighting with all these "sushi rolls" hanging out...
06x04 - Poisoned by Relatives Season 6 / Episode 4: - Poisoned by Relatives

Ryu: [on phone] What is it? [Blanka is in a hotel with a chihuahua, and hollers down the line]
Ryu: No! Don't you scream at me! It's specifically noted that your hotel doesn't allow pets!
06x04 - Poisoned by Relatives Season 6 / Episode 4: - Poisoned by Relatives

Sagat: Tiger! Tiger! [Boom!]
Sagat: [to Ryu] Oh, man! I accidentally just Tiger-punched my packet, dude! That is classic Sagat! I mean, I don't know what happened there...
06x04 - Poisoned by Relatives Season 6 / Episode 4: - Poisoned by Relatives

Ryu: [on phone] This better be good, M. Bison. [Bison is in the Q*Bert game]
M. Bison: I think I got the wrong packet. [Punches Q*Bert]
06x04 - Poisoned by Relatives Season 6 / Episode 4: - Poisoned by Relatives

Ryu: [on phone] What?
Ken Masters: It's been twenty minutes. I don't think E. Honda's coming.
Ryu: E. Honda? [checks the packet]
Ryu: You're not fighting E. Honda, you're fighting A Honda.
Ken Masters: I'm fighting a car?
Ryu: Yes!
Ken Masters: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
Ryu: It was in the packet! You know what? From now on, you lose your packet, you are OUT of the tournament!
Ken Masters: [sarcastically] Fine, fine! I'm punching the car! Oh, he's not hitting back. How exciting! Wow, what a great idea! [gets into it]
Ken Masters: Hey, this is kind of fun... Shoryuken! Shoryuken!
05x15 - Casablankman II Season 5 / Episode 15: - Casablankman II

Kratos: I, Kratos, the God of War, feed the Blades of Chaos with the blood orbs of your souls!
05x15 - Casablankman II Season 5 / Episode 15: - Casablankman II

Athena: Quickly, Kratos! Pleasure your lovers and receive a bounty of blood orbs!
Kratos: Uh, one of them's a dude...
Athena: What's the problem? You're in Greece.
05x15 - Casablankman II Season 5 / Episode 15: - Casablankman II

Kratos: I am not sleeping with a dude!
Athena: Surely you would at least let him watch, if I offered you one thousand blood orbs!
Kratos: The Blades of Chaos are thirsty... I could not turn that down.
Athena: Then let's make it fifteen hundred, and he gets to play with your balls!
Kratos: Wha... What do you think I am?
Athena: We already established what you are, now we're just negotiating!
Kratos: Oh, I see what you did there. Very smug and demeaning.
05x15 - Casablankman II Season 5 / Episode 15: - Casablankman II

Athena: I'm just going to throw this out there: two thousand blood orbs, anything goes. [pause]
Kratos: All right. [steps forward]
Kratos: You're not going to watch, are you?
Athena: Only as long as I need to.
05x14 - The Core, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover Season 5 / Episode 14: - The Core, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover

Lumiere: So you're dining with a beast / That doesn't mean you shouldn't feast!
Cogsworth: Let us handle reservations / Give your taste buds a sensation!
Chamberpot: Have your fill, eat more still / There's no need to slow your pace / After dinner, you'll be thinner / once you sit down on my face!
Lumiere: Who's for seconds?
Chamberpot: Eat a lot / then come meet your chamberpot...
Lumiere: We are trying to serve dinner!
Chamberpot: What, DeFicacci doesn't get to sing along? I'm a person too! DeFicacci didn't ask be a chamberpot!
Lumiere: None of us asked to be stuck in the forms of household items! But people are eating!
Chamberpot: So, DeFicacci only useful after dinner, eh? I get to live a solitary existence punctuated by people pooping on my...
Lumiere: I said people are eating! [the chamberpot runs off crying]
Lumiere: Okay, let's just get through this dinner, so the Beast can bang this bitch... Belle? Where did Belle go? [cut to Belle sitting on the chamberpot]
Chamberpot: Whoa, sound a horn! / Looks like someone's eaten corn!
Belle: [in agony] Does everything have to be a fucking song?
05x06 - Major League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen Season 5 / Episode 6: - Major League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Marc Summers: Welcome back to "Unwrapped". You know, nearly everyone has enjoyed an ice cream sundae on a hot day, but the origins of this tasty treat may just surprise you. It's commonly accepted that the sundae was invented in Evanston, Illinois, circa 1890. We went to Dr. Peter Yarborough for the real scoop.
Dr. Peter Yarbourgh: Here's how fucking dumb these fuckheads in Illinois were. The ice cream soda had just been invented; teenagers liked them. So these fucking religious numbnuts sat around jacking off in church all day thinking about how much they just hated teenagers, and decided - true fucking story, people - that God therefore must hate ice cream sodas. That's right! These Illinois fucknuts concluded that God, creator of the infinite universe who probably had a trillion fucking better things to do, actually had an opinion about motherfucking ice cream sodas! So the state of Illinois banned ice cream sodas on Sundays. You know, so I guess God wouldn't make it rain crickets or some ridiculous fucking horseshit! Long story short, every Sunday, the fucking ice cream stores, they'd just - ta-da! - they'd just leave out the soda part! And these Illinois fucks, they just sat around, jacked off, thinking about how much they had pleased their invisible master who lives on a fucking flying cloud, or wherever the fuck he lives! That's how ice cream sundaes were invented - dumb fucking Illinois assholes!
Marc Summers: Up next... Skittles!
Dr. Peter Yarbourgh: Oh, fucking Skittles!
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Scorpion: Dude, relax, we made it, CHILL!
Frog: Chill THIS, asshole!
04x09 - But Not In That Way Season 4 / Episode 9: - But Not In That Way

Linus Van Pelt: I love Geography Day! [shows off a map of Italy] I got Italy!
Lucy Van Pelt: [showing off a map of Russia] I got Russia!
Charlie Brown: [showing off a map of Iraq] I got Iraq.
04x05 - Tell My Mom Season 4 / Episode 5: - Tell My Mom

Tony Stark: Who the hell are you?
Nick Fury: Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.
Tony Stark: In my house? In the middle of the night?


Tony Stark: And who the hell are you?


Nick Fury: Run, stupid!

04x01 - Help Me Season 4 / Episode 1: - Help Me

Mark Wahlberg: [parody of The Moment of Truth] Ever told your wife you liked her dress when you really didn't?
Contestant: Yes.
Mark Wahlberg: Ever cheated on your taxes?
Contestant: Yes.
Mark Wahlberg: Ever used the n-word in anger?
Contestant: Yes.
Mark Wahlberg: Ever put your penis in a Slinky?
Contestant: Ye... uh, no.
Mark Wahlberg: You lose!
04x01 - Help Me Season 4 / Episode 1: - Help Me

Trojan Man: [Trojan Man chorus] The reservoir tip is for your semen!
03x13 - Slaughterhouse on the Prairie Season 3 / Episode 13: - Slaughterhouse on the Prairie

Grizzlor: Kill me please, kill me!
She-Ra: [shouts] Shut-up! [slams the door of her room]

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