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Type
Scripted
Premiered
Jul. 12, 2002
Status
Completed/Ended
Runtime
60 min.
Country
USA
Network
USA TV Network

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Characters: #4 of 8 (Full List)

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Natalie Teeger Monk

Natalie Teeger

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  Played by:
Traylor HowardTraylor Howard
Traylor Howard was born and raised in Orlando. She attended Lake Highland Preparatory School, and while ...

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Natalie Teeger Quotes

05x03 - Mr. Monk and the Big Game Season 5 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk and the Big Game

Natalie Teeger: Well, higher!


Natalie Teeger: Oh, my God!
Adrian Monk: What is it?
Natalie Teeger: Oh, my God!
Adrian Monk: Natalie, what is it?
Natalie Teeger: There are footprints!
Adrian Monk: Footprints... down you go.
Natalie Teeger: Okay, down I go?
Adrian Monk: Down you go.
Natalie Teeger: Down we go.
05x03 - Mr. Monk and the Big Game Season 5 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk and the Big Game

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [about Julie] I can talk to her next week. How about Saturday? I'll take you guys out for pancakes.
Natalie Teeger: Yeah, it's okay. That's not going to give her much time. It's all right. [starts walking out of the Captain's office, but then turns around] Oh, you know what? I forgot to mention. My cousin works for a PR firm for the '49ers.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No kidding!
Natalie Teeger: Yeah! Joe Montana's going to be in town on Thursday. He's shooting some commercial. You want to meet him?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Joe Montana? Sure!
Natalie Teeger: Okay, you're not too busy?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No, no. No, I'm sure we can make that work.
Natalie Teeger: Oh, great, because I lied! But it's nice to know you're available on Thursday! Julie will be here after school. Thanks! [Natalie walks out of the office, while Stottlemeyer looks on in astonishment]
05x03 - Mr. Monk and the Big Game Season 5 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk and the Big Game

Adrian Monk: [sitting in Principal Franklin's office] Ah, this brings back memories. Sitting in the principal's office.
Natalie Teeger: You? I can't picture you being sent to the principal's office.
Adrian Monk: I wasn't sent. I used to go there on my own. To report on the troublemakers, I was Mr. Campman's eyes and ears. That's what he called me.
Natalie Teeger: Ummm, so you spied on other kids?
Adrian Monk: I was keeping the study hall safe for people like you. You're welcome.
05x03 - Mr. Monk and the Big Game Season 5 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk and the Big Game

Adrian Monk: [examining the crime scene] It seems like the coach ran into a lot of bad luck in this room all at once.
Natalie Teeger: Well, I guess that's how it happens sometimes.
Adrian Monk: Yes, to me, but this happened to someone else.
05x03 - Mr. Monk and the Big Game Season 5 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk and the Big Game

Natalie Teeger: You okay?
Adrian Monk: Girl's bathroom.
Natalie Teeger: What are you afraid of? [pokes Monk] Cooties?
Adrian Monk: Don't laugh. The jury's still out on cooties. If we could only get more federal funding...
05x03 - Mr. Monk and the Big Game Season 5 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk and the Big Game

Natalie Teeger: So you've never won anything in your whole life?
Adrian Monk: Once, at a birthday party, I won a game of musical chairs.
Natalie Teeger: Well, that's something.
Adrian Monk: But then I was disqualified. A mother said I went counter-clockwise, or something.
Natalie Teeger: Well, at least you got invited to the party!
Adrian Monk: It was my party, okay, it was my mother.
05x03 - Mr. Monk and the Big Game Season 5 / Episode 3: - Mr. Monk and the Big Game

Adrian Monk: I'm gonna need a bigger mantle. Natalie! I'm gonna need a bigger mantle!
Natalie Teeger: Your mother would be so proud.
Adrian Monk: Oh, no she wouldn't. But it's still nice of you to say.
05x01 - Mr. Monk and the Actor Season 5 / Episode 1: - Mr. Monk and the Actor

Adrian Monk: [Monk bangs on the door] Natalie, it's me. [Natalie opens her front door] At least I think it's me.
Natalie Teeger: Oh, Mr. Monk, what time is it? [she wipes sleep out of her eyes]
Adrian Monk: You were right about actors. He's completely unstable. [he walks into her house]
Natalie Teeger: What did he do?
Adrian Monk: Oh, he's so selfish. He's immature. Get this: he barged into my house in the middle of the night, woke me up because he *felt* like talking...
Natalie Teeger: Umm, I can't imagine what that would be like...
Adrian Monk: So we talked for hours. I will say this, he gets me, he *really* gets me, he understands about Trudy. He was dredging up these feelings. Feelings I haven't had in years. And then he made us food - fried eggs with the yolk exactly in the center, I mean exactly. He used a ruler, just the way I like them. [sighs] It was very confusing but delicious. Confusing, but delicious. And then he said he was tired and asked me to leave.
Natalie Teeger: So you left?
Adrian Monk: He has to get up at 6:00.
Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, that's *your* house!
Adrian Monk: [Momentarily stunned] Boy, he's a good actor.
04x16 - Mr. Monk Gets Jury Duty Season 4 / Episode 16: - Mr. Monk Gets Jury Duty

Adrian Monk: Don't get me wrong. It's a great system. It really is the best justice system in the world.
Natalie Teeger: I agree.
Adrian Monk: I just don't want to be a part of it.
Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, what if everybody felt that way?
Adrian Monk: Everybody does.
04x14 - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut Season 4 / Episode 14: - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut

Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, you're not a wuss.
Adrian Monk: Well I'm not a man either. I'm a kind of mutant: half man, half wuss. I'm a muss.
04x14 - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut Season 4 / Episode 14: - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut

Natalie Teeger: You can't just take mail from somebody's porch.
Darrell Cain: Yeah, you can if it's fruit. The law doesn't apply to fruit because it's perishable.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Actually, sir, the law does apply to fruit. [turns to Disher, who is eating a nectarine from the box] Are you eating one?
Lt. Randall Disher: Nope. I was just putting that back. [throws the nectarine back into the Fruit of the Month box]
04x14 - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut Season 4 / Episode 14: - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut

Natalie Teeger: [after hearing that both Monk *and* Steve Wagner are coming to Julie's career day] You're both coming? I'm going to be Class Mom of the Year!
04x14 - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut Season 4 / Episode 14: - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut

Adrian Monk: I am such a... what do you call it?
Natalie Teeger: Wuss? No, Mr. Monk, you are not a wuss.
Adrian Monk: Well, I'm not a man. I know that. I'm a mutant. Half man, half wuss. I'm a muss.
04x14 - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut Season 4 / Episode 14: - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut

Adrian Monk: Could we come, too? I'm a big aviation buff... fan.
Natalie Teeger: So true!
Adrian Monk: Fan or buff. I love airplanes.
Natalie Teeger: Just crazy about the...
Adrian Monk: Can't get enough of them.
Natalie Teeger: ...the takeoff.
Adrian Monk: And the wings and all.
Natalie Teeger: And, uh, the... the...
Adrian Monk: ...the rudder.
Natalie Teeger: ...the landing. You wouldn't mind if we come, do you?
04x14 - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut Season 4 / Episode 14: - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut

Natalie Teeger: [noticing Monk putting a head onto a missile] Mr. Monk, what are you doing?
Adrian Monk: I don't know.
Captain Savo: [speaking into his walkie-talkie] They're at Ramp #2. He's handling a missile. [Monk is now polishing the head of the missile]
Natalie Teeger: No, no, no, no! These are missiles. They could be nuclear weapons!
Adrian Monk: Then stop me, for the love of God.
04x14 - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut Season 4 / Episode 14: - Mr. Monk and the Astronaut

Adrian Monk: I can't speak in public.
Natalie Teeger: See, that's not true. Remember when I first started working for you and you made that list with all of your fears and phobias, there were one hundred and three things, public speaking wasn't one of them.
Adrian Monk: Actually, there were a couple of things I didn't mention; I didn't want you to think I was weird.
04x13 - Mr. Monk and the Big Reward Season 4 / Episode 13: - Mr. Monk and the Big Reward

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Here's the coroner's report. Victim's name: Danny Chasen, it's probably an alias. The victim was poisoned. Somebody spiked his all-natural barley tea with ammonia.
Adrian Monk: Was he part of the heist?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Looks like it. They found some hair samples in that rolltop desk at the museum that matched the body.
Natalie Teeger: Where's the diamond?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Still missing in action. Wasn't on him or in the cabin.
Adrian Monk: We know he had a partner, somebody who works at the museum. It's probably still with him.
Natalie Teeger: So the reward is still good? I mean, nobody's claimed it?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Yeah, as far as I know. The reward is still good.
Natalie Teeger: [holds up file] Ka-ching!
Adrian Monk: [to Stottlemeyer] Could you make her stop saying that?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: This is no longer a parlor game. A man is dead. This is a homicide investigation, which means *nobody* is to withold *any* information from *anybody*.
Natalie Teeger: [noticing that Monk and Stottlemeyer are looking at her with accusing looks] What? Are you looking at me?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Yes I am, Ms. Teeger.
Gladys Menchen: [walks into the room to confront Monk about his Post-It notes] Did you write these? Don't deny it, I know it was you! [reads the notes] "How are things down under?" Hint! Hint! "Monk was right. You should clean under the tables." You don't fool me for a second. It goes without saying, "Don't forget to throw away these little Post-Its, too."
Adrian Monk: [to Stottlemeyer] Captain, she doesn't clean under the tables.
Gladys Menchen: You are not the boss of me!
04x13 - Mr. Monk and the Big Reward Season 4 / Episode 13: - Mr. Monk and the Big Reward

Landis: [while being questioned about the robbery] I want to help you guys. I really do, but they've questioned me three times.
Lt. Randall Disher: It's not just you, Mr. Landis. We're talking to all the guards, cleaning staff, curators, and anybody who was at the museum.
Landis: Yeah, but I haven't been home yet!
Lt. Randall Disher: And I appreciate that. We just need your official statement, and you're free to go. So for the record, where were you during the robbery?
Landis: OK, for the tenth time, I was at my station on the main floor. I *never* left.
Lt. Randall Disher: And you didn't hear anything unusual?
Landis: No, sir. I was three floors away.
Lt. Randall Disher: Okay. [noticing Monk and Natalie] Excuse me for a second. Can I get you something to drink? [Randy walks over to the cooler where Monk and Natalie are standing] Monk, Nat.
Adrian Monk: What's going on?
Lt. Randall Disher: What? You haven't heard? Robbery at the MacMillan Museum. It was big, big! The Alexander Diamond.
Natalie Teeger: Whoa!
Lt. Randall Disher: I know whoa! Robbery division asked us to help out, so we're taking statements from everybody on sight.
Adrian Monk: So you're not arresting him about the drugs?
Lt. Randall Disher: Uh, no, what drugs?
Adrian Monk: His fingertips are stained. It looks like red phosphorus. You get that from making crystal meth. He's got to have a lab somewhere.
Lt. Randall Disher: Okay, I'll look into it. [to Landis] Excuse me, Mr. Landis. [to Monk and Natalie] If the Captain needs me, I'll be in Interrogation Room B.


Adrian Monk: What?
Natalie Teeger: You know what? You just solved that case for *free*!
Lt. Randall Disher: What was I supposed to do? Say, "Lieutenant, there's a drug dealer in the room. I'll tell you who it is for $20."
Natalie Teeger: At least we'd have $20!
04x12 - Mr. Monk and the Captain's Marriage Season 4 / Episode 12: - Mr. Monk and the Captain's Marriage

Natalie Teeger: Just remember the old saying, whenever God closes one door....
Capt. Stottlemeyer: ...sometimes He breaks your heart.
Natalie Teeger: That's not the old saying.
Capt. Stottlemeyer: It is today.
04x10 - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show Season 4 / Episode 10: - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show

Natalie Teeger: [notices how Lt. Disher is striking a pose with one foot on a rock and his elbow resting on his knee] What are you doing?
Lt. Randall Disher: What?... I'm standing. [self-satisfied] This is how I stand. [Notices how Natalie is dressed in evening wear] What are you wearing?
Natalie Teeger: Clothes, this is how I dress.
Lt. Randall Disher: This is how I stand.
Natalie Teeger: This is how I dress-s-s.
04x10 - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show Season 4 / Episode 10: - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show

Natalie Teeger: He did it!
Adrian Monk: Natalie, he's not even a suspect!
Natalie Teeger: Damn!
04x10 - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show Season 4 / Episode 10: - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show

Julian Hodge: [to Natalie, as he is being led away in handcuffs] So, it's true what they say, huh? You can never judge a person by how they dress.
Natalie Teeger: [delighted to tell Hodge all about his prison wardrobe] Well, let me tell you about what you're going to be wearing. I hope you like orange. It's a little jumpsuit thing, it has a number right here. You can wear it anywhere, really. Indoors, walking around the yard...
04x10 - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show Season 4 / Episode 10: - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Okay! This is now a homicide investigation! Lock this place down, nobody touch anything! [turning to Randy] Fabio, go and borrow a notebook, and borrow a pencil, and start talking to neighbors.
Natalie Teeger: Captain, what do you think it means?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: It means that your boss scared somebody.

04x10 - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show Season 4 / Episode 10: - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show

Natalie Teeger: She swears he's innocent.
Howard "Gordo" Gordon: I know. That's the toughest part of the job, the mothers crying and pleading. That's one thing I'm not going to miss.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Where are you going?
Howard "Gordo" Gordon: Didn't you hear? I'm retiring. There's a party for me on Saturday if you want to come.
Lt. Randall Disher: Sweet.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: You're retiring? How old are you?
Howard "Gordo" Gordon: 46.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Did you win the lottery?
Howard "Gordo" Gordon: No, I've been investing. Real estate. What have you been doing with your savings?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [mulls it over] Uhhh... Eating. You know, I think I need to talk to my accountant.
Natalie Teeger: What, you have an accountant?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Nope. Going to have to go find an accountant, and then I'm going to talk to him.
04x10 - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show Season 4 / Episode 10: - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show

Adrian Monk: He quit?
Shirt Salesman: Yeah. Apparently, he had one regular customer who was driving him crazy.
Natalie Teeger: Now we're going to be up all night wondering who *that* was.
04x10 - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show Season 4 / Episode 10: - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show

Julian Hodge: If you're going to rob me, you should bring a gun.
Natalie Teeger: Pardon me?
Julian Hodge: The blouse. It's a knock-off of one of my designs.
Natalie Teeger: Oh. It is? I didn't know.
Julian Hodge: Of course. That's not the real crime. The real crime is how you look in it.
04x10 - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show Season 4 / Episode 10: - Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show

Natalie Teeger: [watching Julie before she goes on to rehearse for Hodge] She looks beautiful, doesn't she? Too beautiful. Sometimes I wish she had a big old fat ugly wart right here. [points to her forehead]
Adrian Monk: Maybe here. [points to the center of her forehead, right above the bridge of her nose]
04x08 - Mr. Monk and Little Monk Season 4 / Episode 8: - Mr. Monk and Little Monk

Natalie Teeger: [re: Monk] What was he like? As a kid?
Sherry Judd: Pretty much the same. Careful, smart... sad.
04x07 - Mr. Monk Goes to a Wedding Season 4 / Episode 7: - Mr. Monk Goes to a Wedding

Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, he's not a real cop. He's a stripper.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so.
Natalie Teeger: Didn't you see his badge? It says "Officer Feelgood."
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Monk, the guy's got dollar bills sticking out of his belt. [We see a view of the "stripper" and the wad of bills]
Adrian Monk: I thought he'd lost his wallet.
04x07 - Mr. Monk Goes to a Wedding Season 4 / Episode 7: - Mr. Monk Goes to a Wedding

Natalie Teeger: Hey, is Parnell still dating that parole officer?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No, he married her.
Lt. Randall Disher: I have my own tux and everything.
Natalie Teeger: Ooh, ooh, what about that B-and-E suspect you brought in last week? He was kind of cute.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Not cute enough to make bail.

Previous: Lt. Randall Disher Next: Dr. Neven Bell
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