01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Woodrow Call: What do you want legs for anyway? You don't like to do nothing but sit on the porch and drink whiskey!
Gus McCrae: I like to kick a pig every once in a while. How would I do that?
01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Woodrow Call: You're one-of-a-kind, Augustus. We're gonna miss you.
Gus McCrae: Even you?
Woodrow Call: Even me. What you want me to do your half the cattle?
Gus McCrae: I want you to buy 'em from me.
Woodrow Call: Buy 'em from you? Hellfire, you ain't put in a day's worth of work in on 'em on this whole trip. You ought to just give 'em to me if you don't want 'em.
Gus McCrae: You just said they were half-mine, are they half-mine or not?
Woodrow Call: Yes, they're half-yours.
Gus McCrae: Alright then. I want you to buy 'em from me, and give the money to... Lorena.
Woodrow Call: Lorena. Well is there anything else? Are you sure you don't want me to haul you down to the South Pole and bury you down there? All you gotta do is ask.
Gus McCrae: [chuckling] Yeah, there is something else. I want you to tell Newt that you're his daddy. I've already told him myself, but I want him to hear it from you.
Woodrow Call: You ought not told him that.
Gus McCrae: What are you gonna do, shoot me for it? It's time you stopped mistreating that boy.
Woodrow Call: I don't know that I ever have mistreated him.
Gus McCrae: Well not giving him your name is mistreating him. Now he's the only son you'll ever have.
Woodrow Call: I don't know that he is my son.
Gus McCrae: I know it, and you know it. Darn, you're stubborn! No wonder women don't like you. Reach in that drawer there, find me something to write on. I want to leave a couple notes to Lori and Clara.
Woodrow Call: [hands Gus paper and pen] You want me to do anything about those Indians that shot you?
Gus McCrae: We got no call to be vengeful, they didn't invite us here.
Gus McCrae: [writing] It's a dangerous business, writing to two women at the same time. I'm so light-headed I can hardly remember which one's which. Now this one, this one's for Lori. And this one here, my God...
Woodrow Call: You want me to help you with that?
Gus McCrae: What would you know to say to a woman? [falls asleep writing]
Woodrow Call: [places hand on Gus's chest] Augustus.
Gus McCrae: [Looks up] My God, Woodrow. It has been quite a party, ain't it?
Woodrow Call: Yes, sir.
01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Pea Eye Parker: [Indians have attacked Gus & Pea, on a scouting expedition, wounding both] They're gonna try sneakin' up on us in the dark, ain't they Gus?
Gus McCrae: be takin' a chance if they do, couple of sharp-shooters like us
Pea Eye Parker: I ain't no sharp-shooter. I usually miss if I ain't got time to take careful aim
Gus McCrae: 'y god but it's depressin' to talk to you, Pea
01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Gus McCrae: [Looking at a herd of buffalo, such as hadn't been seen in Texas for many years] Pretty, ain't they?
Pea Eye Parker: I reckon
Gus McCrae: Let's chase 'em. You want to?
Pea Eye Parker: Shoot us one for our supper?
Gus McCrae: No, I mean chase 'em just for the sport of it
Pea Eye Parker: to run them off?
Gus McCrae: You don't get the point, do you Pea? I mean chase 'em, because before long, there won't be any buffalo left TO chase
Pea Eye Parker: Them bulls 'll hook you. D'you remember ol' man Barlow? A buffalo hooked him bad
Gus McCrae: Old man Barlow was a slow thinker, kinda like somebody else I could name
Pea Eye Parker: Well he was a slow walker, too, after that buffalo got through with him. Wonder what ever happened to him...
Gus McCrae: He married a fat widow over on the Blanco River, and had a passel of kids. Now you might as well have done the same thing yourself, since you don't want to chase buffalo
Pea Eye Parker: Well I don't believe I'd want to chase buffalo even if I was married
Gus McCrae: Forget I even mentioned it, Pea
Pea Eye Parker: Well, I like bein' a bachelor, Gus
Gus McCrae: That's good, Pea; I'm sure it's all part of god's plan that You ARE one [whistles & spurs his horse]
01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Blue Duck: [Call is looking at Blue Duck in jail] I hear you brought your stinkin' old friend to my hangin'.
Woodrow Call: He'd enjoy seein' it alright.
Blue Duck: I should've caught him & cooked him when I had the chance.
Woodrow Call: I'd have killed you for it, if you had.
Blue Duck: [laughing] I raped women, stole children, and burned houses, & shot men, run off horses, & killed cattle, and robbed who I pleased, all over your territory, and you never even got a good look at me until today! I don't reckon you would've killed me.
Woodrow Call: It don't matter much now though, does it?
Blue Duck: You Rangers! I 'spect I'll kill a passel of you yet.
Woodrow Call: I doubt it; not unless you can sprout wings 'n' fly through the hangman's noose
Blue Duck: I can fly - an old woman taught me - and if you car to wait, you'll see me
Woodrow Call: I'll wait. I give you my word on it
01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Woodrow ain't much of a mentioner when he can avoid it.
Newt Dobbs: Well Gus, is it that he don't like me?
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: No. No. It's just, he don't want to admit he's human, like the rest of us, that's all.
01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Pea Eye Parker: What Indians is it we're fightin' anyway?
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: They didn't introduce themselves.
01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Hope you didn't through my leg away. I may wanna make a walkin' stick out of the bone.
01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Clara Allen: Did you give that boy your name before you left Montana?
Woodrow Call: I gave him my horse.
Clara Allen: You gave him your horse, but not your name?
Woodrow Call: I put a lot more value on the animal than I do my name.
01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Woodrow Call: [grave-side] Well there ya are, Augustus. I guess this'll teach me to be more careful about what I promise in the future.
Grave Marker: UVA UVAM VIVENDO VARIA FIT
01x04 - Return Season 1 / Episode 4: - Return

Reporter: They say you're a man of vision. Is that true?
Woodrow Call: [flashing back to all that has gone on]
Reporter: Captain Call?
Woodrow Call: A man's vision, you say. Yeah. Hell of a vision...
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Woodrow Call: [looks over at Newt after Clara gives Newt the horse] Women!
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Clara Allen: Here, Mr. Johnson. Meet your son. [Hands baby to July Johnson, who holds him in his arms] Well, that's a good sign. I guess you'd at least catch him if somebody threw him off a roof.
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Pea Eye Parker: What's it read, Gus?
Gus McCrae: It says, "Josh Deets. Served with me 30 years. Fought In 21 engagements with the Comanche and the Kiowa. Cheerful in all weathers. Never shirked a task. Splendid behavior." That's what it says.
Pea Eye Parker: My lord. Old Deets is gone. My lord.
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Gus McCrae: You know how it works Jake, you ride with an outlaw, you die with an outlaw. I'm sorry you crossed the line.
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Jake Spoon: I didn't see no line Gus. I was just trying to get through the territory without getting scalped, that's all.
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Gus McCrae: [Call is about to hang Jake] You know how it goes, Jake. You ride with an outlaw, you die with an outlaw. Sorry you crossed the line.
Jake Spoon: I never seen no line, Gus. I was just trying to get through the territory without gettin' scalped.
Gus McCrae: I don't doubt that's true, Jake.
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Gus McCrae: [after Woodrow almost beats a man to death for whipping Newt and hitting some of his men] It don't do to anger Woodrow F. Call, does it?
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Woodrow Call: Didn't you hear me? I said get your boots off
Dan Suggs: Damned if we will. I said we were horse traders
Gus McCrae: We're more persuaded by the bodies we just buried. Get your boots off
Dan Suggs: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about
Gus McCrae: You're a black liar sir
Dan Suggs: Just ask Jake if we didn't buy them horses
Woodrow Call: 'dyou buy them three cowboys you shot? 'dyou buy them two farmers you burned? Pea, you & Newt get your ropes; tie 'em up
Jake Spoon: Oh you don't need to tie me up, Newt. Hell I ain't killed anybody. I just fell in with these boys to get me through the territory; hell I was gonna leave 'em first chance I got
Gus McCrae: I wish you'd taken that chance a little earlier, Jake; a man who'll go along with five killin's, takin' his leave a little slow. Go ahead Newt
Jake Spoon: Pea, you know me; I ain't no killer. Deets you know it too. Gus I ain't no criminal; now you know that. It was Dan that killed them two sod-busters. Hell I didn't kill nobody
Dan Suggs: You shut your damn mouth, Spoon
Woodrow Call: Put 'em on their horses
Roy Suggs: Where's he goin'?
Gus McCrae: Pick out a tree to hang you from, son
Jake Spoon: Gus, I...
Gus McCrae: You know how it works, Jake: you ride with an outlaw, you die with an outlaw. I'm sorry you crossed the line
Jake Spoon: I didn't see no line, Gus. I was just tryin' to get through the territory, without gettin' scalped; that's all
Gus McCrae: I'm sure that's true, Jake
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Woodrow Call: You're that sheriff from Fort Smith Arkansas, come lookin' for Jake Spoon
July Johnson: That was a long time ago. I don't reckon I'm lookin' for him no more
Woodrow Call: That's good, 'cause he fell in with a bad bunch and we hung 'im
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Newt Dobbs: Jake was no killer.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Jake liked to joke, he didn't like to work. I got exactly those same feelings myself.
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Clara Allen: Why don't you get down?
July Johnson: Well thank you but we wouldn't want to trouble you.
Clara Allen: Oh, we grow our own troubles around here. Their names are Sally and Betsy.
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: I told you what happened. It's an accident she's even on this trip.
Clara Allen: Oh, I never noticed you having accidents with ugly girls!
01x03 - The Plains Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Plains

Woodrow Call: I guess it's our fault, we shoulda shot sooner.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: I don't want to start thinking, Woodrow, about all the things we that shoulda done for this good man.
01x02 - On the Trail Season 1 / Episode 2: - On the Trail

Janey: [to Joe] You ever ate a frog?
01x02 - On the Trail Season 1 / Episode 2: - On the Trail

Monkey John: [Blue Duck has shot an Indian that disagreed with him] Life is cheap up here on the Canadian.
Blue Duck: It's apt to get a lot cheaper. Let's gamble.
01x02 - On the Trail Season 1 / Episode 2: - On the Trail

Woodrow F. Call: The best thing you can do for death is ride off from it.
01x02 - On the Trail Season 1 / Episode 2: - On the Trail

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: [riding into San Antonio seeing hundreds of people] There's durn people makin' towns everywhere. And it's our fault, too.
Woodrow F. Call: Our fault?
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well, we chased out the Indians, didn't we? Hung all the good bandits. Did it ever occur to you that everything we done was a mistake? You and me done our work too well, Woodrow. Hell, we killed off all the people that made this country interesting to begin with, didn't we?
01x02 - On the Trail Season 1 / Episode 2: - On the Trail

Woodrow F. Call: You're lucky they didn't through you in jail.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well, it ain't much of a crime whackin' a surely bartender. I guess they may have forgot us though.
Woodrow F. Call: Why wouldn't they forget us? We haven't been around here in years.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: No, the reason is we never got killed, that's why they forgot us.
Woodrow F. Call: That is a dang foolish thing to say.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: No it ain't. If a thousand Comanches had cornered us in a gutter somewhere and wiped us out, like the Soo just done Custer, why they'd remember us sure. Hell, they'd be writin' songs about us for a hindered years.
Woodrow F. Call: Now there weren't ever a thousand Comanches in the whole world, and you know it.
Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well that ain't the point, Woodrow!
01x02 - On the Trail Season 1 / Episode 2: - On the Trail

Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: If you want only one thing too much, it's likely to turn out a disappointment. Now the only healthy way to live, as I see it, is to learn to like all the little every day things.

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