Jan. 12, 2001
30 min.
Disney Channel TV Network

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Characters: #4 of 11 (Full List)

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Jo McGuire Lizzie McGuire

Jo McGuire

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  Played by:
Hallie ToddHallie Todd
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Jo McGuire Quotes

02x32 - My Dinner with Mr. Dig Season 2 / Episode 32: - My Dinner with Mr. Dig

Lizzie McGuire: Okay, so even though Mr. Dig is my favorite sub, I should never have invited him to dinner. But since I did, you guys have to be on your best behavior.
Sam McGuire: Does it mean I shouldn't sing?
Jo McGuire: Oh, I love it when he sings!
Lizzie McGuire: Since when do you sing, Dad?
Sam McGuire: Well, rarely, because I'm always on my best behavior.
02x26 - A Gordo Story Season 2 / Episode 26: - A Gordo Story

Jo McGuire: My grandparents came here from Poland during World War II. My grandfather worked in an assemble line in the candy factory, and my grandmother worked in a hospital, making beds.
Matt McGuire: Interesting. [pauses] Please tell me you've got something better than that? PLEASE!
02x23 - Clue-Less Season 2 / Episode 23: - Clue-Less

Jo McGuire: Shrimp?
Ethan's Stepmom: Uh, uh. I'm 5'10" in heels.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: It must be something in the water at Ethan's house.
02x23 - Clue-Less Season 2 / Episode 23: - Clue-Less

Jo McGuire: That's it! I did it and I'd do it again. McGuffin promised to marry me, but he cheated on me. He cheated it all straights and he cheated on his taxes! He's a monster, a louser, and I'm glad he's dead. I'm happy about it don't you see? He's dead! He's dead, he's dead, he's dead, he's dead, he's dead. I'm happy about it!
Sam McGuire: Honey, honey.
Jo McGuire: Wa-? Oh... well. Gordo caught me.
02x23 - Clue-Less Season 2 / Episode 23: - Clue-Less

Matt McGuire: Don't anybody touch anything! I am Inspector Pratt and I am here to inspect!
Lizzie McGuire: Matt, what are you doing here?
Matt McGuire: I just wanted to see who croaked dad!
Lizzie McGuire: Well, you can do that somewhere else, like in the Sahara Desert?
Matt McGuire: Mom!
Jo McGuire: Lizzie, let your bother play.
Lizzie McGuire: Ow!
Matt McGuire: I think I'll go study this in the parlor.
02x20 - Xtreme Xmas Season 2 / Episode 20: - Xtreme Xmas

David 'Gordo' Gordon: And the old folks won't have anywhere to spend Christmas. Bummer.
Matt McGuire: Couldn't they stay with us? I can share my room.
Jo McGuire: Oh, honey, there are two-hundred-and-forty of them.
Matt McGuire: They can share Lizzie's room too!
02x18 - Party Over Here Season 2 / Episode 18: - Party Over Here

Jo McGuire: Sam, you flinched for your driver's licence picture.
Sam McGuire: Honey, this is something Matt really wants to do, and I can get over being a little camera shy for one day. That's why I AM the fun dad! WOHOO! WOHOO! WOHOO! WOHOO! WOHOO!
02x17 - Movin' On Up Season 2 / Episode 17: - Movin' On Up

Jo McGuire: Mom! Mom! She's our man, if she can't do it no one can! Go ME!
02x16 - Inner Beauty Season 2 / Episode 16: - Inner Beauty

Jo McGuire: We'll have to encourage him. Artists are very sensitive.
Sam McGuire: Sensitive? Matt eats mud!
02x12 - Best Dressed for Much Les Season 2 / Episode 12: - Best Dressed for Much Les

Sam McGuire: I remember Coco. She was hot.
Jo McGuire: She was not hot. She was just well dressed.
02x12 - Best Dressed for Much Les Season 2 / Episode 12: - Best Dressed for Much Les

Jo McGuire: You used all the paper on copies of your picture?
Matt McGuire: They're not for me. They're for my fans.
02x08 - Just Friends Season 2 / Episode 8: - Just Friends

Jo McGuire: And since when did you become such an expert on teenage girls?
Sam McGuire: Well, I got dumped by enough of them. I got cut loose by every girl I ever liked.
02x07 - The Longest Yard Season 2 / Episode 7: - The Longest Yard

Jo McGuire: [after Lizzie gets off the phone] Nice of you to join us.
Lizzie McGuire: Sorry.
Matt McGuire: It's not THAT nice.
02x05 - Working Girl Season 2 / Episode 5: - Working Girl

Matt: Mom, Mom! Where's Lizzie?
Sam McGuire: She just left.
Matt: Oh, I really needed to talk to her.
Jo McGuire: Oh, well, you can talk to me, sweetie.
Matt: Sorry mom but I need to talk to a girl.
02x04 - Rise and Fall of Kate Season 2 / Episode 4: - Rise and Fall of Kate

Sam McGuire: Are you sure we need to talk to him? He's just excited about the play.
Matt: [behind the door] Mirror, mirror on the wall; who's the greatest actor of them all?
Sam McGuire: After you.
Jo McGuire: After you.
02x02 - El Oro de Montezuma Season 2 / Episode 2: - El Oro de Montezuma

Lizzie McGuire: Mom, dad, can I ask you guys a question?
Jo McGuire: Sure.
Lizzie McGuire: Where did I come from?
Jo McGuire: Well, I'm from Wala Wala, Washington.
Sam McGuire: And I'm from Kalamazoo.
Lizzie McGuire: [animated Lizzie] Face it. My parents are aliens.
Lizzie McGuire: No, not like that. I mean where did our family come from.
Jo McGuire: I'm Polish, Swedish, French, Swiss, German, Hungarian and all the countries with heavy food. And you're what Scottish or Irish?
02x01 - First Kiss Season 2 / Episode 1: - First Kiss

Matt: Well, Malina has the baseball card I want but she'll only give it to me if I meet her demands.
Sam McGuire: That's extortion.
Jo McGuire: That's brilliant.
01x31 - Gordo's Bar Mitzvah Season 1 / Episode 31: - Gordo's Bar Mitzvah

Jo McGuire: Hey, Mrs. Robinson... [notices that Mrs. Robinson is holding Matt after his collar] Matt, what did you do this time?
Matt McGuire: It's all a misunderstanding...
Mrs. Robinson: He was stealing oranges from my tree. Again!
Sam McGuire: Is this true, Matt?
Matt McGuire: Well, "stealing" is such a... strong word!
01x24 - Night of the Day of the Dead Season 1 / Episode 24: - Night of the Day of the Dead

Jo McGuire: [she and Sam throw water and oatmeal on Miranda's parents before realizing who they are] Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, we thought you were a trick-or-treater!
Mrs. Sanchez: [dryly] I see, we give them *candy* at our house.
01x22 - The Untitled Stan Jansen Project Season 1 / Episode 22: - The Untitled Stan Jansen Project

Jo McGuire: [to Lizzie] Honey, this is the third time you've changed this morning.
Matt McGuire: Yeah, and it keeps getting worse.
01x22 - The Untitled Stan Jansen Project Season 1 / Episode 22: - The Untitled Stan Jansen Project

Jo McGuire: [after Lizzie tells her she had a fight with her friends] So, what was the secret?
Lizzie: Oh, that I... I had a crush on Gordo in the fourth grade.
Jo McGuire: I KNEW it!
01x18 - Rated Aargh Season 1 / Episode 18: - Rated Aargh

Matt: Yeah mom, you rock!
Jo McGuire: It's true, I do.
01x18 - Rated Aargh Season 1 / Episode 18: - Rated Aargh

Animated Lizzie: [hiding behind a huge banana in a fruit basket] This is never gonna work.
Lizzie: [slides back; bravely walks to her mom] Mom? Can I ask you something?
Animated Lizzie: [now behind an orange and banana in the oversized basket and next to an apple] This is never gonna work!
Jo McGuire: Sure, Sweetie. What's up?
Lizzie: Uh, can I go play miniature golf with Gordo and Miranda this weekend?
Animated Lizzie: [shaking head, now on edge of bowl in the front, eyes wide] This is never gonna work!
Jo McGuire: [uppity] Sure. That sounds fun.
Animated Lizzie: What? [slides out of bowl and puts arms up in questioning stance and Lizzie excitedly toddles out of the room]
01x12 - Between a Rock and a Bra Place Season 1 / Episode 12: - Between a Rock and a Bra Place

David 'Gordo' Gordon: Mrs. McGuire, suddenly I don't want to go with you guys to the mall anymore.
Jo McGuire: That's okay. You're uninvited.

Sam McGuire: Well, how about those, um, Mets? Huh?
Matt: I don't care. I'm just glad we're not doing anything that has to do with bras.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: I have to go home and do something. Anything. Anything but this.
01x11 - Bad Girl McGuire Season 1 / Episode 11: - Bad Girl McGuire

Jo McGuire: Matt, you're supposed to be home when the street lights come on, and the street lights have been on for... [looks at the clock]... exactly seven minutes!
01x07 - Aaron Carter's Coming to Town Season 1 / Episode 7: - Aaron Carter's Coming to Town

Jo McGuire: [to Gordo and Miranda] You guys gonna stay for dinner?
Gordo: Mrs. McGuire, have we *ever* turned down a free meal?
Jo McGuire: I'll take that as a "yes."
01x06 - Jack of All Trades Season 1 / Episode 6: - Jack of All Trades

Jo McGuire: Why do you want to be called "M-Dogg?"
Matt: Because there are four Matt's in my class.
Sam McGuire: I knew we should have named him "Dillon."
Matt: There are seven Dillons.
01x01 - Rumors Season 1 / Episode 1: - Rumors

Sam McGuire: You know, I swear that manual didn't say a thing about changing the water.
Jo McGuire: Whatever... murderer.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Jo McGuire: Well, I can't speak for Lanny.
Sam McGuire: Somebody's got to.

Previous: David 'Gordo' Gordon Next: Sam McGuire
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