Type
Scripted
Premiered
Sep. 11, 1974
Status
Canceled/Ended
Runtime
60 min.
Country
USA
Network
NBC TV Network

Characters: #6 of 28 (Full List)

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Harriet Oleson Little House on the Prairie (1974)

Harriet Oleson

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  Played by:
Scottie MacGregorScottie MacGregor
Best known for her performance as the nasty, gossiping, greedy and arrogant Mrs. Harriet Oleson on the ...

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Harriet Oleson Quotes

09x22 - Hello and Goodbye Season 9 / Episode 22: - Hello and Goodbye

Harriet Oleson: Here you are, Mr. Montague, we had everything that was on your list.
Sherwood Montague: Thank you. Put it on my bill.
Harriet Oleson: Yes, certainly. Where's Nancy?
Sherwood Montague: I believe she said she was going upstairs to commit suicide. Good day.
09x21 - May I Have This Dance? Season 9 / Episode 21: - May I Have This Dance?

Willie Oleson: Mother, I have something to say to you and I'm only gonna say it once, so I want you to pay attention.
Harriet Oleson: Willie, there's nothing that you have to say...
Willie Oleson: Mother, I'm talking! You're listening! You've been complaining to me, and to Father, and to everyone else in Walnut Grove that'll listen to you, that Rachel is ruining my life! Now, I've kept quiet about it, because I thought you'd realize how wrong you are. But I'm not gonna keep quiet about it any longer. If anyone is ruining my chances for a happy life around here, you are!
Harriet Oleson: Me?
Willie Oleson: Yes you!
Harriet Oleson: AH!
Willie Oleson: Rachel is my best chance for a happy life, and I don't ever want to hear you say another unkind word about her. Now, we are going to open up the restaurant. And you can stay here until you accept the fact that Rachel and I are getting married. Because that's exactly what I'm gonna do!
09x21 - May I Have This Dance? Season 9 / Episode 21: - May I Have This Dance?

Willie Oleson: Mr. Edwards is going to be my best man. [Walks out of the store while Harriet stared aghast]
Harriet Oleson: Now, there you see what that wrench has done to him?
Nels Oleson: [Proudly] Astonishing!
09x20 - For The Love of Blanche Season 9 / Episode 20: - For The Love of Blanche

Harriet Oleson: Nels, do something!
Nels Oleson: I have done something. I've climbed up here.
09x05 - Little Lou Season 9 / Episode 5: - Little Lou

Harriet Oleson: [laughs] A midget!
Lou Bates: It appears that way.
Harriet Oleson: Well, I've never seen one before.
Lou Bates: It's a small world.
09x05 - Little Lou Season 9 / Episode 5: - Little Lou

Harriet Oleson: Surely your not considering hiring that dwarf in there, are you?
Mr. Bill Anderson: Why... yes I was. I need a teller and he...
Harriet Oleson: Are you running a bank or are you running a sideshow? I can't believe you'd hire someone like that.
Mr. Bill Anderson: Mrs. Oleson, I do not judge someone by their size. I judge them by their ability.
Harriet Oleson: Well, perhaps there are a few other things you should take into consideration.
Mr. Bill Anderson: Such as?
Harriet Oleson: Such as... Once you let one undesirable into the community, do you realize how many will follow? Now, I think he should be with his own kind.
Mr. Bill Anderson: Mrs. Oleson...
Harriet Oleson: I'm not finished, Mr. Anderson! Now, of course the decision to hire him is yours, but I want you to know that if he does work in that bank, my account will be closed. And I'm quite sure that the Oleson account is by far the largest that is in town.
09x05 - Little Lou Season 9 / Episode 5: - Little Lou

John Carter: Mr. Oleson, cancel my account at the store and the restaurant.
Harriet Oleson: Well, why for Heanve's sake?
John Carter: Because I can't trust you. Your eyes are too close together.
09x05 - Little Lou Season 9 / Episode 5: - Little Lou

Harriet Oleson: I don't know why it is I have such a short temper.
Lou Bates: What?
Harriet Oleson: I have such a short temper.
Lou Bates: If anyone has a short temper, it should be me.
09x03 - Welcome To Olesonville Season 9 / Episode 3: - Welcome To Olesonville

Harriet Oleson: I think there are some simple courtesies that this town owes to me and my family.
Dr. Hiram Baker: Courtesies? What sort of courtesies do you have in mind, Harriet?
Harriet Oleson: Simple things, really. Things that won't cost this town one red cent!
John Carter: We're waiting, Mrs. Oleson.
Nels Oleson: Yes, Harriet. Please don't keep us in suspense any longer.
Harriet Oleson: Hm. Well, for example, the Main Street out here... I think it would be nice if it had a name. Harriet Oleson Boulevard. And I think it would also be nice if the courtesy was extended to my daughter, if she were invited to be the soloist in the church on Sundays. Oh yes... And there's just one more little thing...
08x07 - The Legend of Black Jake Season 8 / Episode 7: - The Legend of Black Jake

Harriet Oleson: Nels... Kidnapped... A HUNDRED DOLLARS RANSOM? [Faints]
08x02 - The Reincarnation of Nellie (2) Season 8 / Episode 2: - The Reincarnation of Nellie (2)

Nels Oleson: Now!
Harriet Oleson: No!
Nels Oleson: Now!
Harriet Oleson: No!
Nels Oleson: NOW!
Harriet Oleson: Now!
08x02 - The Reincarnation of Nellie (2) Season 8 / Episode 2: - The Reincarnation of Nellie (2)

Harriet Oleson: Well, she's not gonna get away with it anymore! I am gonna put my foot down!
Nels Oleson: Well, it's about time.
Harriet Oleson: Yes! She'll be sorry. She'll go to bed without any dessert tonight.
Nels Oleson: That's the punishment?
Harriet Oleson: You think it's too harsh?
08x02 - The Reincarnation of Nellie (2) Season 8 / Episode 2: - The Reincarnation of Nellie (2)

Harriet Oleson: That's right! I am your mother! And you won't [Throws ball]... Lie to me [Throws ball]... AGAIN! [Throws ball and hits target]
08x01 - The Reincarnation of Nellie (1) Season 8 / Episode 1: - The Reincarnation of Nellie (1)

Harriet Oleson: [When told by Mr. Case that Nancy is an impossible, unadoptable child] Oh... men! Why, you just don't understand little girls.
Miss Mason: Mrs. Oleson, I must be honest. I don't understand either. In the four weeks that Nancy's been here, she has set fire to her bed, broken more windows than I can count, poured plaster into the indoor plumbing, and bitten half the children in the orphanage.
Harriet Oleson: Well, girls will be girls!
08x01 - The Reincarnation of Nellie (1) Season 8 / Episode 1: - The Reincarnation of Nellie (1)

Harriet Oleson: We've got to find her!
Nels Oleson: I have found her.
Harriet Oleson: Where?
Nels Oleson: In the box. She's in the box!
Harriet Oleson: [Bends down to talk to her] Oh Nancy, this is your new mommy. Oh honey, oh, I love you...


Nels Oleson: I was wrong, Harriet. There is another child exactly like Nellie.
07x17 - Sylvia (1) Season 7 / Episode 17: - Sylvia (1)

Nels Oleson: Harriet, boys will be boys.
Harriet Oleson: My son will not be a boy!
07x17 - Sylvia (1) Season 7 / Episode 17: - Sylvia (1)

Harriet Oleson: How could you? How could you be a peeping Tom?
Willie Oleson: I couldn't. My name's Willie.
07x17 - Sylvia (1) Season 7 / Episode 17: - Sylvia (1)

Harriet Oleson: Oh really? Well, I certainly don't remember any of the boys sneaking around the swimming hole when I was a girl.
Nels Oleson: That's the truth.
Harriet Oleson: What?
Nels Oleson: I said, Charles is telling the truth.
07x16 - Goodbye, Mrs. Wilder Season 7 / Episode 16: - Goodbye, Mrs. Wilder

Laura Ingalls Wilder: Mrs. Olsen, are you sure that one teacher can handle this schedule?
Harriet Oleson: [laughs] Yes. Yes, of course.
Laura Ingalls Wilder: Good. I wish you luck.
Harriet Oleson: What?
Laura Ingalls Wilder: Because I quit! Ladies and gentlemen, meet your new school teacher.
07x13 - Come, Let Us Reason Together Season 7 / Episode 13: - Come, Let Us Reason Together

Benjamin Cohen: Let me put it clearly so you will understand. This baby will be Jewish.
Harriet Oleson: Mm mm. Half Jew.
Benjamin Cohen: There is no such thing as half a jew.
Harriet Oleson: Ah ha! Then he will be a whole Christian!
07x13 - Come, Let Us Reason Together Season 7 / Episode 13: - Come, Let Us Reason Together

Harriet Oleson: Could you imagine my daughter giving birth to a jew? Can you imagine what that child will be like? Nervy and greedy and pushy and always after food and cheap, cheap, cheap!
Nels Oleson: Harriet, you know you just opened my eyes.
Harriet Oleson: Oh! Well, it's about time you start listening to me!
Nels Oleson: Yes. Yes I am. If all that you are saying is true, then you must be Jewish.
07x12 - Oleson Versus Oleson Season 7 / Episode 12: - Oleson Versus Oleson

Nels Oleson: Furthermore, since I own everything...
Harriet Oleson: You own?
Nels Oleson: I own everything. I expect to be shown a little more respect. I want everything done my way for now on. That is the end of the discussion!
Harriet Oleson: YOUR way?
Nels Oleson: End of discussion! Now, if you'll just go fetch my slippers, I'll sit down and relax in my chair in my living room.
07x10 - To See The Light (1) Season 7 / Episode 10: - To See The Light (1)

Harriet Oleson: For your information, I'm not fat. I'm large boned!
Percival Isaac Cohen Dalton: Oh?
Harriet Oleson: Yes!
Percival Isaac Cohen Dalton: That would be difficult to determine since your bones are buried so deep beneath the surface.
Harriet Oleson: Nellie, are you going to stand there and let this little thing insult your Mother like that?
Nellie Oleson Dalton: I have to, Mother. He's right.
06x21 - May We Make Them Proud (1) Season 6 / Episode 21: - May We Make Them Proud (1)

Harriet Oleson: Well he's my son too! More so!
Nels Oleson: How do you figure that?
Harriet Oleson: I bore him!
Nels Oleson: Well, you bore me too but that doesn't make you my Mother!
06x21 - May We Make Them Proud (1) Season 6 / Episode 21: - May We Make Them Proud (1)

Harriet Oleson: Nels, don't forget you have a tongue in the oven.
Nels Oleson: I got one in the store too.
06x15 - Crossed Connections Season 6 / Episode 15: - Crossed Connections

Caroline Ingalls: Of course, I guarantee you that I will be dressed to the nines when I have my twenty-fifth reunion. [Caroline starts laughing and Harriet laughs with her]
Harriet Oleson: [laughing] What? What's so funny?
Caroline Ingalls: Nothing. [Both laugh]
Harriet Oleson: [Still laughing] What? What is it, huh?
Caroline Ingalls: Nothing really. I'm sorry.
Harriet Oleson: Oh no, that's all right.
Caroline Ingalls: [laughing] It was just when you mentioned about... about... not having your 25th reunion... [laughs harder]
Harriet Oleson: Yes?
Caroline Ingalls: I couldn't help thinking how old you were when you graduated!
06x12 - The Little House Years (3) Season 6 / Episode 12: - The Little House Years (3)

Harriet Oleson: I swear, I will never understand that woman as long as I live! It's one thing to be poor, but its another thing to admit it.
Nellie Oleson: Well, the poor are ignorant, Mother. That's why they never amount to anything.
Harriet Oleson: How true, how true! Thank heavens we're rich!
Nellie Oleson: Amen.
06x12 - The Little House Years (3) Season 6 / Episode 12: - The Little House Years (3)

Harriet Oleson: Well don't look at me. It's not my fault! I was never married before.
Nels Oleson: Of course not! What other idiot would have married you?
06x12 - The Little House Years (3) Season 6 / Episode 12: - The Little House Years (3)

Harriet Oleson: Thank God we still have the store.
Nels Oleson: Not we, Harriet. I still have the store. Remember?
Harriet Oleson: Nels, you can't mean...
Nels Oleson: I can. And I certainly do. Well, you're the one that laid down that law.
Harriet Oleson: [Cries] But how am I going to pay my bills?
Nels Oleson: You figure it out. That's what comes of buying all this nonsense on credit. Piano, jewelry, crystal... You said you can pay it all yourself. Well, now you can do it.
Harriet Oleson: But how?
Nels Oleson: Get a job.
Harriet Oleson: Get a job? Where?
Nels Oleson: That's a very good question, Harriet.
06x11 - The Little House Years (2) Season 6 / Episode 11: - The Little House Years (2)

Albert Quinn Ingalls: No ma'am, I came back to thank you.
Harriet Oleson: To thank me? For what?
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Well, my Pa's been real busy lately, and he hasn't actually read the book himself. I'm hoping he never finds out what's in it. Bye.
Harriet Oleson: Wait a minute! What do you mean? What's in it?
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Oh, stuff about my Ma. I can't believe that my own grandfather would write such things down for the whole world to see!
Harriet Oleson: Really? Like what?
Albert Quinn Ingalls: I'm too ashamed to repeat them, ma'am.
Harriet Oleson: Oh Albert, you can tell me. After all, your mother and I are old friends! There isn't anything that you could tell me that would change my opinion about her.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Well, there was this one part where my Ma was in a public place, and she...
Harriet Oleson: What? What did she do?
Albert Quinn Ingalls: She didn't DO anything.
Harriet Oleson: Well...
Albert Quinn Ingalls: She wasn't wearing anything either.
Harriet Oleson: You mean she was...
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Naked.

Previous: Carrie Ingalls Next: Nels Oleson
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