Type
Reality/Game Show
Premiered
Sep. 16, 1996
Status
Returning Series
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
Syndicated TV Network
Genre

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Judge Judy tv show photo

Judge Judy

Former family court judge Judith Sheindlin hears cases originally filed in small claims court. Sometimes frivolous, sometimes serious, the cases provide Judge Judy with a forum for her trademark sass and personality.

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Judge Judy: Hey! QUIET!
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Judge Judy: ...You are not a good witness. Because a good witness answers a Judge's question directly, and my question to you was a very simple one. A SIX YEAR OLD COULD ANSWER IT!
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Judge Judy: ...I am not going to ask you to leave. But, the next time you come into my courtroom, dress more appropriately. You are not going to a beach party.
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Judge Judy: [about a girl wearing too-skimpy attire]... Byrd, get her a jumper; she looks cold!
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Judge Judy: ...I would trust your witness much more if he didn't have holes in his jeans.
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Judge Judy: ...Take your hands off your hips and stand up straight, like you're in court... Uncross your arms. You are not at the beach... Hey, stop swaying! It's making me nauseous.
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Judge Judy: ...You are to respond, "Yes, ma'am"!
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Judge Judy: Don't look up at the heavens. God is not going to help you with this case. Only the truth will set you free.
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Judge Judy: I don't want you, or anybody else, to think I'm stupid. Old, maybe; stupid, never.
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Judge Judy: You know how I can tell if a 17-year-old girl is lying? When her mouth moves.
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Judge Judy: You're gonna keep your mouth shut until I come to you and ask you a question; otherwise, Byrd will take you outside until you understand the rules. Because here, I'm in charge... I run this show. Do you understand? You don't speak until I speak to you. Or do you want me to label you a liar before we even begin?
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Judge Judy: ...I eat morons like you for breakfast. You're gonna be crying before this is over.
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Judge Judy: If you want the facts, you go to a therapist. If you want the law, you come to court.
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Judge Judy: I don't care how the Word of God applies here. This is a courtroom, not a church, so don't preach to me.
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Judge Judy: The only attitude I tolerate around here is my own! You speak, then I rule, and after that you shut up. Do you understand?
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Judge Judy: If it doesn't make sense, it's not true.
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Judge Judy: In court, I ask the questions; you answer them. And so far, you've gotten most of them wrong.
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Judge Judy: I'm going to deal with your counterclaim as fairly and expeditiously as I can: it's dismissed. You should bless her, not sue her!
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Judge Judy: Touch every third person, and you'll find an idiot.
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Judge Judy: Women do stupid things when they're in love. That's why I've been in business for twelve years.
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Judge Judy: For what I'd like to say right now, I wish we were on cable... I'm not gonna waste another second on this case. Between the two of you, I doubt I could put together a three-digit IQ.
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Judge Judy: I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.
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Judge Judy: Don't let the word "bar" fool you. This is a courtroom, not a barroom.
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Judge Judy: ...You're lying. I can tell because the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up.
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Judge Judy: I love the truth. If you don't tell me the truth, you're gonna be eating your shoes.
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Judge Judy: Don't get too comfortable. This case is not going to take long.
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Judge Judy: Your counterclaim for your stress is dismissed. That's because the only one who is stressed around here, so far, is me.
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Judge Judy: There's only one wise-ass I tolerate in my courtroom... and that's the bailiff.
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Judge Judy: There are all kinds of worthwhile charities around. Breast augmentation surgery doesn't fall into that category.
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Judge Judy: ...That's why they don't let people drink until they're 21 years old, because even 21-year-olds are morons. 20-year-olds and 19-year-olds are double-morons. They shouldn't even be allowed out of the house after nine o'clock at night.

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