Type
Scripted
Premiered
Sep. 15, 1965
Status
Canceled/Ended
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
CBS TV Network
Genre

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Lisa Douglas Green Acres

Lisa Douglas

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  Played by:
Eva GaborEva Gabor
Of the fabled trio of Gabor sisters, Eva was the "good Gabor." She arrived in the US in the 1930s and ...

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Lisa Douglas Quotes

01x16 - Give Me Land, Lots Of Land Season 1 / Episode 16: - Give Me Land, Lots Of Land

Lisa Douglas: [taking a look at the Watson farm] I told you I wasn't going to like and I kept my promise: I don't like it.
01x16 - Give Me Land, Lots Of Land Season 1 / Episode 16: - Give Me Land, Lots Of Land

Mr. Haney: Now, I could move this fine furniture in my spacious padded truck for... seventyfive dollars.
Lisa Douglas: Twentyfive.
Mr. Haney: Sixty?
Lisa Douglas: Fifteen.
Mr. Haney: Hey, hold it. You're going in the wrong direction. When I'm coming down, you're supposed to be going up.
Lisa Douglas: Ten.
Mr. Haney: Mrs. Douglas, you just ain't got the spirit of this thing.
Lisa Douglas: Five.
01x14 - What Happened in Scranton? Season 1 / Episode 14: - What Happened in Scranton?

Lisa Douglas: That's the problem with you men: all for one and no one for a beauty parlor.
01x14 - What Happened in Scranton? Season 1 / Episode 14: - What Happened in Scranton?

Lisa Douglas: Mr. Ziffel, when was it the last time that you told your wife that she was beautiful?
Fred Ziffel: 1929.
01x10 - Don't Call Us, We'll Call You Season 1 / Episode 10: - Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

Lisa Douglas: We're having eggs this morning.
Mr. Haney: Eggs from little Alice. I told you when I sold that hen to ya, that she was a layer.
Oliver Wendell Douglas: [rolls eyes] Hah!
Lisa Douglas: I left her a note to make us three eggs, and she made us four!
Mr. Haney: Well she probably just don't recognize your handwriting yet.
01x09 - You Can't Plug In a 2 With a 6 Season 1 / Episode 9: - You Can't Plug In a 2 With a 6

Lisa Douglas: [to Oliver who's holding up an electric iron] What's that for?
Oliver Wendell Douglas: Haven't you ever used this?
Lisa Douglas: Oh yes. To hold the door open.
01x07 - Neighborliness Season 1 / Episode 7: - Neighborliness

Lisa Douglas: [making hotcakes] Would you like to turn them?
Mother Eunice Douglas: [appalled] I've never touched a kitchen utensil in my life!
Lisa Douglas: Dahling, cooking is fun!
Mother Eunice Douglas: Oh, poor darling. You've cracked under the strain.
Lisa Douglas: Mother, why don't you try to make yourself useful.
Mother Eunice Douglas: Oh, I fully intend to. I'm going to get a court order and have you taken out of here!
01x07 - Neighborliness Season 1 / Episode 7: - Neighborliness

Newt Kiley: [Lisa come out onto the front porch] Doggone! You sure look purddy, Mrs. Douglas.
Lisa Douglas: Why, thank you!
Fred Ziffel: Oh, I wish my wife looked that pretty in the morning... or the afternoon... or the evening... or in the summer.
01x05 - My Husband, the Rooster Renter Season 1 / Episode 5: - My Husband, the Rooster Renter

Lisa Douglas: [to Haney, discussing Bertram not crowing] We didn't hear a peep out of him!
Eustace Charleton Haney: Well, he ain't a peeper. He's a crower.
Oliver Wendell Douglas: He's not a crower. He's a pecker!
01x05 - My Husband, the Rooster Renter Season 1 / Episode 5: - My Husband, the Rooster Renter

Lisa Douglas: All right darling, you can drive me to Hootersville now.
Oliver Wendell Douglas: Eh, sweetheart, as long as we're gonna live here, you should learn to pronounce the name of the town correctly: 'Hooterville'.
Lisa Douglas: All right, let's go to Hoosterville.
Eb Dawson: [Ed walks up] You going into Hoosterville?
01x04 - The Best Laid Plans Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Best Laid Plans

Lisa Douglas: [in New York City] I just came back to ship our furniture to Green Acres.
Mother Eunice Douglas: Green Acres? You mean Yuck Manor.
01x04 - The Best Laid Plans Season 1 / Episode 4: - The Best Laid Plans

Lisa Douglas: [Mother is appalled to learn Lisa has taken up cooking] I am sure there must be other women who cook for their husbands.
Lisa Douglas: [shaking her head] Nobody I know.
01x03 - The Decorator Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Decorator

Oliver Wendell Douglas: [finding his mother passed out outside] What's wrong with her?
Eustace Charleton Haney: I don't know. I picked her up at the depot, drover her out, she got out of truck, took one look at the house and keeled over.
Lisa Douglas: I can understand that.
Eustace Charleton Haney: Yeah, I guess the rustic beauty is kinda overwhelming.
01x03 - The Decorator Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Decorator

Oliver Wendell Douglas: You'll feel better after you've had breakfast.
Lisa Douglas: Who's going to cook it?
Oliver Wendell Douglas: Oh well, I want to talk to you about that.
Lisa Douglas: What is there to talk about?
Oliver Wendell Douglas: About who's cooking.
Lisa Douglas: Darling, when we got married I promised to love, honor and obey. I said nothing about cooking.
01x03 - The Decorator Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Decorator

Lisa Douglas: Don't shout at mother!
Oliver Wendell Douglas: I can shout at her, she's my mother!
Lisa Douglas: Well, she's my mother in law.
Oliver Wendell Douglas: It's not natural for anybody to like their own mother in law. I don't like your mother.
01x03 - The Decorator Season 1 / Episode 3: - The Decorator

Mother Eunice Douglas: Lisa, are you coming?
Lisa Douglas: Oh darling, I promised Oliver if he gets a decorator I'd stay.
Lisa Douglas: You don't have to keep a promise, you're a woman.
01x02 - Lisa's First Day On the Farm Season 1 / Episode 2: - Lisa's First Day On the Farm

Eb Dawson: Mr. Douglas, you wouldn't be needing a hired hand, would you?
Oliver Wendell Douglas: No, no, I'm planning on farming this place myself.
Eb Dawson: You ever done any farming?
Oliver Wendell Douglas: [proudly] Oh, a little.
Lisa Douglas: Dahling, don't be so modest. My husband had the biggest squash on Park Avenue!
01x01 - Oliver Buys A Farm Season 1 / Episode 1: - Oliver Buys A Farm

Oliver Wendell Douglas: I'd take a little seed, a tiny little seed, I'd, I'd plant it in the ground, I'd put some dirt on it, I'd water it, and pretty soon, do you know what I'd have?
Lisa Douglas: A dirty little wet seed.
01x01 - Oliver Buys A Farm Season 1 / Episode 1: - Oliver Buys A Farm

Lisa Douglas: What is that?
Oliver Wendell Douglas: It's a sunlamp! I bought it today. The corn is not getting enough sun, it can't get through the smog.
01x01 - Oliver Buys A Farm Season 1 / Episode 1: - Oliver Buys A Farm

Lisa Douglas: [Oliver is about to leave for the airport] Haven't you forgotten something? [meaning a goodbye kiss]
Oliver Wendell Douglas: [putting down his suitcase and reaching into a fancy cabinet] My 'Farm Gazette'!
01x01 - Oliver Buys A Farm Season 1 / Episode 1: - Oliver Buys A Farm

Oliver Wendell Douglas: [driving through Hooterville] Hmm, you never smelled air like that in the city.
Lisa Douglas: No I didn't. What is that?
Oliver Wendell Douglas: [sniffles] Oh, that's Fred Ziffel's. He runs a pig farm.
Lisa Douglas: He should run it in another direction.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Lisa Douglas: Why do you want to irritate your corn?
Oliver Douglas: Irrigate. It means put water on it.
Lisa Douglas: Won't that irritate it?
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Oliver Douglas: Why don't we give away this one?
Lisa Douglas: No that's the dress I graduated from high school in.
Oliver Douglas: How about this one?
Lisa Douglas: That's the dress I wore the first day of college.
Oliver Douglas: [holding a black, low-cut dress] What about this one?
Lisa Douglas: That's the one I got expelled in.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Lisa Douglas: When you married me you knew that I couldn't cook, I couldn't sew, and I couldn't keep house. All I could do was talk Hungarian and do imitations of Zsa Zsa Gabor.
Oliver Douglas: Who?
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Lisa Douglas: Could you keep it a secret from my husband? You see, I want to surprise him.
Ralph Monroe: My lips are sealed.
Hank Kimball: Now if we could only keep them that way.
Ralph Monroe: If you weren't so sexy, I'd beat your brains out!
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Oliver Wendell Douglass: [after watching a "conversation" between Lisa and an oinking Arnold] How can you carry on a conversation with him? I can't understand a thing he's saying!
Lisa Douglas: That's because you don't LISTEN!

Previous: Oliver Wendell Douglas Next: Eb Dawson
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