Characters: #5 of 17 (Full List)

Previous Next

Dr. Ross Geller Friends

Dr. Ross Geller

Add to My Characters
  Played by:
David SchwimmerDavid Schwimmer
Born in New York and raised in Los Angeles, Schwimmer was encouraged by a high school instructor to ...

« Back to Character Profile

Dr. Ross Geller Quotes

07x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Season 7 / Episode 13: - The One Where Rosita Dies

Jack Geller: Well, I don't know what's in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Monica Geller: I used to love to play restaurant.
Dr. Ross Geller: Yeah, not as much as you used to love to play "un-cooked batter eater."
Monica Geller: Hey, it is unreasonable to expect a child to wait for a lightbulb to cook brownies!
07x12 - The One Where They're Up All Night Season 7 / Episode 12: - The One Where They're Up All Night

Dr. Ross Geller: Ow! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle, I think I twisted it wh-- oooohhh, a Quarter!
07x09 - The One With All The Candy Season 7 / Episode 9: - The One With All The Candy

Monica Geller: Ross, the neighbors ate all my candy!
Dr. Ross Geller: Mine stole my newspaper! It's like a crime wave!
07x09 - The One With All The Candy Season 7 / Episode 9: - The One With All The Candy

Chandler: [Ben's about to ride his first big boy bike] Here Ben Let Me Help You With That
Ben Geller: Thank you Daddy!
Dr. Ross Geller: No, No No one daddy... Two mommies.
07x07 - The One With Ross's Library Book Season 7 / Episode 7: - The One With Ross's Library Book

Dr. Ross Geller: Hi, I was wondering, is it possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? I wrote a book that's up there and instead of reading it people are... well, they're rolling around in front of it.
07x04 - The One With Rachel's Assistant Season 7 / Episode 4: - The One With Rachel's Assistant

Dr. Ross Geller: How could you tell her?
Chandler Bing: I had to, okay? We're getting married. Married people can't keep secrets from one another!
Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, really? Well, I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
Chandler Bing: DU-UDE!
Monica Geller: What happened in Atlantic City?
Dr. Ross Geller: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar...
Chandler Bing: Did you not hear me say, "DU-UDE!"
06x21 - The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Season 6 / Episode 21: - The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad

Dr. Ross Geller: I just found out Elizabeth's dad wants to meet me.
Chandler Bing: Wait a minute. Hold the phone. You are not Elizabeth's dad?
06x11 - The One With The Apothecary Table Season 6 / Episode 11: - The One With The Apothecary Table

Dr. Ross Geller: [Rachel tells him that Phoebe hates Pottery Barn] She hates Pottery Barn?
06x11 - The One With The Apothecary Table Season 6 / Episode 11: - The One With The Apothecary Table

Phoebe Buffay: [Ross's apothecary table has just been revealed after Phoebe dragged the tablecloth off it with her feet] Ross, where'd you get this?
Dr. Ross Geller: [yelling] I got it at Pottery Barn, Okay?
06x11 - The One With The Apothecary Table Season 6 / Episode 11: - The One With The Apothecary Table

Dr. Ross Geller: You know what I think?... She's weird. It's because she's a twin.
Rachel Green: Ross, she is not weird. She just likes her stuff to be one-of-a-kind.
Dr. Ross Geller: You know what's not one-of-a-kind? A twin!
06x08 - The One With Ross's Teeth Season 6 / Episode 8: - The One With Ross's Teeth

Dr. Ross Geller: Hey, Rachel, did you notice...
Rachel Green: Your teeth? Yeah, I saw them from outside.
06x05 - The One With Joey's Porsche Season 6 / Episode 5: - The One With Joey's Porsche

Rachel Green: [to the judge] Do you see? Do you see what you're keeping me married to?
Judge: You need to get out of my chambers.
Rachel Green: All right, look lady, here is the deal: I came here for an annulment, and I am not leaving here until I get one!
Dr. Ross Geller: Yeah!
Judge: Would you like to spend the night in jail?
Rachel Green: Thank you for your time.

05x21 - The One With The Ball Season 5 / Episode 21: - The One With The Ball

Rachel Green: I just bought something. I'm not sure she [meaning Monica] is gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something I've wanted since I was a little girl.
Dr. Ross Geller: You bought Shaun Cassidy!
Rachel Green: No, I wish!
05x19 - The One Where Ross Can't Flirt Season 5 / Episode 19: - The One Where Ross Can't Flirt

Dr. Ross Geller: Was I talking to her about... gas?
Chandler: More so than anything else.
05x19 - The One Where Ross Can't Flirt Season 5 / Episode 19: - The One Where Ross Can't Flirt

Dr. Ross Geller: Actually, I like eight year old boys.
Caitlin: What?
Dr. Ross Geller: No! No no! Your hair. You said that it looks like an eight year old boy's and I'm just saying that I like it.
Caitlin: Okay. Thanks.
Dr. Ross Geller: You understand that I don't actually *like* eight year old boys?
05x19 - The One Where Ross Can't Flirt Season 5 / Episode 19: - The One Where Ross Can't Flirt

Dr. Ross Geller: [Ross is trying to flirt with the pizza delivery girl] Hey, uh, you know that smell gas has? They put that in. The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak. A lot of other gas smells. Methane smells.
05x05 - The One With The Kips Season 5 / Episode 5: - The One With The Kips

Dr. Ross Geller: Remember how you told me I should give Emily whatever she wants?
Rachel Green: Yeah.
Dr. Ross Geller: And while that was good advice, you should know that what she wants is for me not to see you anymore.
Rachel Green: That's crazy. What are you going to tell her?


Rachel Green: Oh my God! You already agreed to this, haven't you? [her eyes are filling with tears]
Dr. Ross Geller: But the good news is, we get to spend as much time together as we want before Emily comes to New York!
Rachel Green: [clapping her hands] Oh! That is great news! You know what, Ross? I think that's the best news I've heard since Lepooh died!
05x05 - The One With The Kips Season 5 / Episode 5: - The One With The Kips

Dr. Ross Geller: Hi!
Rachel Green: What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?
Dr. Ross Geller: Look. Monica told me about the phasing out thing. I'm the one who is making things change, so I should be the one to, you know, step back.
Rachel Green: [interrupting] Ross...
Dr. Ross Geller: No, I mean it. There's plenty of people who only see their sisters at Thanksgiving, who only see their college roommates at reunions and who only see Joey at Burger King! So is that better?
Rachel Green: [long pause] No it's not better! I still don't get to see you!
Dr. Ross Geller: Well, what would you do, Rach?
Rachel Green: Well, the start is I would have said the right name at my wedding!
05x05 - The One With The Kips Season 5 / Episode 5: - The One With The Kips

Dr. Ross Geller: What are you doing?
Rachel Green: Storming out!
Dr. Ross Geller: Rachel, this is your apartment.
Rachel Green: Yeah, well, that's how mad I am!
05x03 - The One Hundredth Season 5 / Episode 3: - The One Hundredth

Dr. Ross Geller: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Phoebe: What?
Dr. Ross Geller: Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head.
Phoebe: Oh my God, she's so stupid!
04x24 - The One With Ross's Wedding (2) Season 4 / Episode 24: - The One With Ross's Wedding (2)

Dr. Ross Geller: I take thee Rachel.
04x24 - The One With Ross's Wedding (2) Season 4 / Episode 24: - The One With Ross's Wedding (2)

Dr. Ross Geller: This is our wedding day! From now on, everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word, no grandchildren!
04x19 - The One With All The Haste Season 4 / Episode 19: - The One With All The Haste

Dr. Ross Geller: [about Emily] She lives there. I live here. I mean, she'd have to move here. [pause] She should move here!
Joey: What?
Dr. Ross Geller: I can ask her to live with me.
Chandler: Are you serious?
Dr. Ross Geller: Why not? I mean, why not?
Chandler: Because you've only known her for six weeks! Ok? I've got a carton of milk in my refrigerator I've had a longer relationship with.
04x15 - The One With All The Rugby Season 4 / Episode 15: - The One With All The Rugby

Dr. Ross Geller: I'm man enough for this.
Joey Tribbiani: Ross, you aren't even man enough to have the channel that carries this.
04x13 - The One With Rachel's Crush Season 4 / Episode 13: - The One With Rachel's Crush

Joey Tribbiani: Hey, look, a new Playboy.
Monica Geller: Yeah. Just something I picked up.
Dr. Ross Geller: Cookies and porn? You're the best mom ever.
03x23 - The One With Ross's Thing Season 3 / Episode 23: - The One With Ross's Thing

Dr. Rhodes: [Ross has something on his body he can't identify, and is trying to pass it off as a Chandleresque "third nipple"] Take your shirt off and let's see what we're dealing with here. [Ross begins to take off his pants] What are you doing?
Dr. Ross Geller: Just showing you my run-of-the-mill, slice-it-right-off third nipple...
Dr. Rhodes: Well, that's not a third nipple.
Dr. Ross Geller: No?
Dr. Rhodes: First of all, it's on your ass.
03x17 - The One Without The Ski Trip Season 3 / Episode 17: - The One Without The Ski Trip

Carol Willick: You slept with another woman?
Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, you're - you're one to talk!
03x17 - The One Without The Ski Trip Season 3 / Episode 17: - The One Without The Ski Trip

Dr. Ross Geller: [after filling up the cab's gas tank] You're welcome.
Rachel Green: Oh, I'm sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?
03x17 - The One Without The Ski Trip Season 3 / Episode 17: - The One Without The Ski Trip

Chandler: I was being Shelley Winters from The Poseidon Adventure.
Dr. Ross Geller: I know.
03x14 - The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Season 3 / Episode 14: - The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner

Dr. Ross Geller: So I nodded of a little...
Rachel Green: Nodded off? Ross, you were snoring! My father's boat didn't make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Dr. Ross Geller: Come on! Forty-five minutes! Forty-five minutes the man talked about strappy-backed dresses.
Rachel Green: Okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium listening to Professor Pitstains and his 'hey, everybody, remember that thing that's been dead for a gazillion years? Well, here's a little bone we didn't know it had!

Previous: Phoebe Buffay Next: Rachel Green
You are successfully logged out.
login
[close]

ShareTV Login

Username
Password
Enter the text in the image shown if you are human.
WARNING: after 2 more failed attempts you will be locked out
[close]

Create Account

Username
Password
Verify Password
EMAIL

Verification code (check your email for the verification code)

Verification code has been sent to the following email address:
If you didn't receive the verification code:

1. Check your bulk/spam folder.

2. Try to whitelist our email address (noreply@sharetv.org)

3. Resend verification email

If you mistyped your email address change it here
Create a free ShareTV account to make a personalized schedule of your favorite TV shows, keep track of what you've watched, earn points and more.
Verify your username and email to complete your Registration
Enter the text in the image shown if you are human.
WARNING: after 2 more failed attempts you will be locked out
[close]

Forgot Your Password?

EMAIL
Enter the email address you used to create the account and your password will be emailed to you.