Type
Scripted
Premiered
Jan. 31, 1999
Status
Returning Series
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
FOX TV Network
Genre

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Characters: #5 of 27 (Full List)

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Chris Griffin Family Guy

Chris Griffin

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  Played by:
Seth GreenSeth Green
Seth Green was raised in Overbrook Park by his parents; Herb, a math teacher, and Barbara, an artist. ...

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Chris Griffin Quotes

15x19 - Dearly Deported Season 15 / Episode 19: - Dearly Deported

Chris Griffin: [when somebody throws rocks on his window] Go away, Mr. Herbert!
John Herbert: It's not me, I'm in your closet.
15x15 - Cop and a Half-wit Season 15 / Episode 15: - Cop and a Half-wit

Chris Griffin: Is that a Michael Sam jersey?
Stewie Griffin: Yep, two boy names. Doubly masculine.
Brian Griffin: Like George Michael?
Stewie Griffin: Shut up!
Brian Griffin: Come on, Stewie. Are you still hung up about that woman at the grocery store, thinking you were a girl?
Chris Griffin: Elton John... is another.
Stewie Griffin: It has nothing to do with that, Brian. I just thought it'd be good to take up a sport. You know, like boys do.
Brian Griffin: You don't have to play football to prove you're a boy.
Chris Griffin: Barney Frank... is yet another one.
Brian Griffin: Chris, please. Actually, you know what? Ricky Martin. There's a bunch of these.
15x15 - Cop and a Half-wit Season 15 / Episode 15: - Cop and a Half-wit

Stewie Griffin: [after suffering a concussion] Is anybody gonna answer that telephone?
Chris Griffin: He keeps thinking the phone is ringing, Brian.
Brian Griffin: Well, at least he's talking again. I think that means he's getting better.
Stewie Griffin: Is it day or night? I don't... I don't care. I just wanna know. LOIS, ANSWER THE BLOODY PHONE!
Brian Griffin: No, no, no! We don't need Lois. [chuckles] Chris, pretend to answer the phone.
Chris Griffin: Uh... uh, hello? Okay, yes, one second. MOM, IT'S FOR YOU!
Brian Griffin: What? No, damn it, Chris! Um, um... I'll take that. Hello, this is Brian Griffin. Actually, I already received The New York Times and I always enjoy finishing the crossword puzzle.
Chris Griffin: You're bragging to nobody?
15x09 - How the Griffin Stole Christmas Season 15 / Episode 9: - How the Griffin Stole Christmas

Chris Griffin: Dad, look! Santa's here! [gestures to a mall Santa] I wanna sit on his lap.
Peter Griffin: Jeez, Chris, come on. You're in high school.
Chris Griffin: I'm gonna ask for a family trampoline.
Peter Griffin: Holy crap! Get your ass up there!
15x07 - High School English Season 15 / Episode 7: - High School English

Chris Griffin: [During Of Mice and Men] While you're gone can I touch myself?
Stewie Griffin: Again, you don't have to schedule that with me.
15x06 - Hot Shots Season 15 / Episode 6: - Hot Shots

Peter Griffin: Who's up for another game of hot breath telephone? [whispers something in Chris' ear]
Chris Griffin: [yells] We're all gonna die!
Peter Griffin: Chris, you're supposed to whisper that to the next person.
15x05 - Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date Season 15 / Episode 5: - Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date

Chris Griffin: Some animals give me boners.
15x05 - Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date Season 15 / Episode 5: - Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date

Chris Griffin: Taylor, this is our sister, Meg and our dog, Brian.
Taylor Swift: Nice to meet you both.
Meg Griffin: We're not all so impressed. I've met Dan Aykroyd.
Brian Griffin: I'm sorry, uh, which cast member of "Hee Haw" are you?
Stewie Griffin: [runs up to Meg and Brian and starts beating them with the tape measure] WILL YOU BE NICE?
15x05 - Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date Season 15 / Episode 5: - Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date

Taylor Swift: [When Chris, Brian and Stewie appear in Taylor Swift's house] Hi, Taylor.
Taylor Swift: Chris? What are you guys doing here?
Chris Griffin: I wanted to talk to you.
Stewie Griffin: Your house is way nicer than Anne Murray's. We broke in there too.
15x05 - Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date Season 15 / Episode 5: - Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date

Stewie Griffin: [to Chris] You've just gotta do what Taylor Swift does and shake it off.
Chris Griffin: Who's Taylor Swift?
Stewie Griffin: [pauses in shock] Oh my God! Am I about to introduce you to Taylor Swift?
Chris Griffin: What is she, a singer?
Stewie Griffin: She's much more than a singer, Chris. She's... she's... she's the queen! A goddess! A gazelle in a high-waisted swimsuit!
15x02 - Bookie of the Year Season 15 / Episode 2: - Bookie of the Year

Chris Griffin: Oh hey, fellow teens. Wait a minute... Teens don't have wheelchairs! [Cleveland, Quagmire and Joe beat him down with baseball bats]
15x01 - The Boys In The Band Season 15 / Episode 1: - The Boys In The Band

Lois Griffin: Peter, it's not a horse. Chris, what the hell is that?
Chris Griffin: Oh, this is Mr. Quagmire's horse gimp.
Lois Griffin: What is a horse gimp?
Chris Griffin: It's a sexual fetishist who derives erotic pleasure from dressing in horse-themed leather gear.
14x18 - The New Adventures of Old Tom Season 14 / Episode 18: - The New Adventures of Old Tom

Chris Griffin: You know, Brian, this wouldn't have happened if you were just honest with women and had an ounce of integrity!
Brian Griffin: Don't pull rank on me! You ate a ring, you worthless tub of crap!
Chris Griffin: *Yeah*? Well, who's gonna fish through a tub of crap *soon*, you unemployed buttmunch!
Stewie Griffin: Whoa, whoa! Let's calm down, guys!
Chris Griffin: SHUT UP, you unemployed buttmunch!
Stewie Griffin: Okay, he found a burn he likes.
14x11 - The Peanut Butter Kid Season 14 / Episode 11: - The Peanut Butter Kid

Lois Griffin: This is serious. We need to think about our kids' education. Of course, it's already too late for Meg to go to college and Chris is too dumb to get in anywhere.
Chris Griffin: Yay!
Stewie Griffin: No, Chris. Not yay.
14x06 - Peter's Sister Season 14 / Episode 6: - Peter's Sister

Chris Griffin: Any flyers of Hispanic women running for city council?
Meg Griffin: [surprised] Yeah, there is!
Chris Griffin: Thank you.
14x05 - Peter, Chris & Brian Season 14 / Episode 5: - Peter, Chris & Brian

Chris Griffin: Apologies for being so tardy.
Peter Griffin: Aaw Chris you are not tardy, we tested you twice.
14x05 - Peter, Chris & Brian Season 14 / Episode 5: - Peter, Chris & Brian

Chris Griffin: Why are you hocking tater-tots at a baby panda?
Peter Griffin: Because I'm oddly attracted to him and it frightens me.
13x15 - Once Bitten Season 13 / Episode 15: - Once Bitten

Chris Griffin: You know, If I didn't know better I'd think that fish are ghosts and I'd also think that you're putting the moves on Meg.
13x07 - Stewie, Chris, & Brian's Excellent Adventure Season 13 / Episode 7: - Stewie, Chris, & Brian's Excellent Adventure

Chris Griffin: Screw you, Stewie. You are a jerk! And I'm gonna win that bowling tournament, with or without you!
Stewie Griffin: What does he... What? He doesn't even know what we're preparing him for!
13x07 - Stewie, Chris, & Brian's Excellent Adventure Season 13 / Episode 7: - Stewie, Chris, & Brian's Excellent Adventure

Chris Griffin: [onboard of Titanic] This would make a great movie.
13x05 - Turkey Guys Season 13 / Episode 5: - Turkey Guys

Chris Griffin: First I'm microwaving a kitten and now I'm holding a host!
13x05 - Turkey Guys Season 13 / Episode 5: - Turkey Guys

Chris Griffin: Hi, Grandma. I got some down-there hair now. Want to see?
13x01 - The Simpsons Guy Season 13 / Episode 1: - The Simpsons Guy

Chris Griffin: Dad, how long until we can go back home?
Peter Griffin: Um, I don't know. How long do women hold grudges? Not very long, I'm guessing.
12x21 - Chap Stewie Season 12 / Episode 21: - Chap Stewie

Peter Griffin: Chris, look! Mom's naked!
Chris Griffin: Where?
Peter Griffin: [smacking Chris with his mattress] You creep.


Stewie Griffin: No!
Lois Griffin: Peter, what's going on in...
Peter Griffin: [smacking Lois with the mattress] Unga bunga!
12x21 - Chap Stewie Season 12 / Episode 21: - Chap Stewie

Chris Griffin: It took three years, but I am finally through all that porn.
12x20 - He's Bla-ack! Season 12 / Episode 20: - He's Bla-ack!

Chris Griffin: [as Donna spanks him] Ow! It hurts! It hurts! I can't believe Japanese men pay good money for this.
Japanese Businessman: At work, I am important businessman. Here, I am bad boy!
12x20 - He's Bla-ack! Season 12 / Episode 20: - He's Bla-ack!

Chris Griffin: Mom's making me sleep in the basement.
Peter Griffin: Sleeping lower in the house is a big punishment for her.
12x20 - He's Bla-ack! Season 12 / Episode 20: - He's Bla-ack!

Chris Griffin: [to Donna] Mrs. Brown? I want you to spank me again.
12x15 - Secondhand Spoke Season 12 / Episode 15: - Secondhand Spoke

Stewie Griffin: [to Chris] You know, the way those kids were picking on you today in school. You really got to stand up for yourself.
Chris Griffin: Stewie, it's not so easy. What would you say if I said, "Hey there, shorty"?
Stewie Griffin: I'd say, "Have another doughnut, you albino gorilla."
Chris Griffin: Oh, yeah? Well, you have a sister as well.
12x14 - Fresh Heir Season 12 / Episode 14: - Fresh Heir

Peter Griffin: Hey, hey, Chris, how about you and me do a secret handshake that has way too many steps to remember, all right?
Chris Griffin: Okay.
Peter Griffin: Shake, bump, bump, slap, pinky hook, pretend to slick your hair back, represent, bump, one spin, slap high, slap low, reverse spin, bump, explode, shake, belly rub, fake yawn, finger gun, hitchhiker, hitchhiker, shimmy shimmy sham sham, shake, shake, shake, bump, something smells and shake again. Okay, ready? [Chris is gone; looks out the window] Oh, my God, it's night time.

Previous: Brian Griffin Next: Meg Griffin
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