Sep. 13, 1996
30 min.
CBS TV Network

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Frank Barone Everybody Loves Raymond

Frank Barone

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  Played by:
Peter BoylePeter Boyle
A bold, blunt instrument of hatred and violence at the onset of his film career, Peter Boyle recoiled ...

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Frank Barone Quotes

07x17 - Meeting the Parents Season 7 / Episode 17: - Meeting the Parents

Hank MacDougall: I don't think it's a good idea for us to be anywhere near your family.
Pat McDougal: Don't take it personal. We're just not the type of people who would ever be seen with. You.
Marie Barone: I take umbridge to that! I take severe umbridge!
Frank Barone: Me too!
Robert Barone: You don't even know what umbridge means.
Frank Barone: Shut up!
07x17 - Meeting the Parents Season 7 / Episode 17: - Meeting the Parents

Frank Barone: Dear God, please keep this crazy in-law family the hell away from me!
07x11 - The Thought That Counts Season 7 / Episode 11: - The Thought That Counts

Frank Barone: I killed a bird once.
07x11 - The Thought That Counts Season 7 / Episode 11: - The Thought That Counts

Frank Barone: Well, Raymond. Nice going. You ruined that old crow's birthday.
07x11 - The Thought That Counts Season 7 / Episode 11: - The Thought That Counts

Marie Barone: Frank, why can't you put more thought into what you got me?
Frank Barone: Slippers are very thoughtful. Every day I see your feet when you get out of bed. So I thought and I thought and I thought. What can I get to cover up those things?
07x10 - Marie's Vision Season 7 / Episode 10: - Marie's Vision

Frank Barone: A loveless marriage? [angrily] A loveless marriage? [furiously] A LOVELESS MARRIAGE? [takes Marie's glasses and breaks them in half, and then he exits]
07x09 - She's the One Season 7 / Episode 9: - She's the One

Robert Barone: I had to go out the window.
Ray Barone: Did she try to stop you with her tongue?
Robert Barone: It's not funny, Raymond! [Frank laughs, then makes a frog tongue sound effect]
Robert Barone: Yeah, yeah, you know what? Laugh all you want, because I'm done.
Debra Barone: What do you mean, you're done?
Robert Barone: I'm done. I'm done dating. I'm done trying to meet someone. I'm done with humiliation. I can't anymore.
Frank Barone: There's nothing humiliating about going out the window. If your mother's apartment had been one floor lower we wouldn't be having this conversation.
07x08 - The Annoying Kid Season 7 / Episode 8: - The Annoying Kid

Ray Barone: I knew it! It's that damn Spencer kid!
Robert Barone: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not jump to conclusions. It could've been somebody else.
Ray Barone: Well, did you write it?
Robert Barone: No. But, it could've been the twins.
Ray Barone: No, if it was them, they would've wrote "Daddy Stinks". Was it you, dad?
Frank Barone: If it was me, I wouldn't have written "Ray STINKS".
07x06 - Robert Needs Money Season 7 / Episode 6: - Robert Needs Money

Ray Barone: We did something for Robert.
Marie Barone: What did you do?
Ray Barone: He just told us that he's been going through a rough patch financially, so we helped him out a little.
Marie Barone: You mean with money?
Ray Barone: Yeah.
Marie Barone: How much?
Ray Barone: A thousand dollars. [Marie gasps]
Frank Barone: What are you two, idiots?
Debra Barone: No. We thought it was the right thing to do. And you heard Marie. He's finally happy.
Marie Barone: Why didn't he come to us if he needed money?
Frank Barone: Because we'd say no.
Marie Barone: I'm his mother. I'm the one he should have come to if he needed money. Raymond, I want to buy out that loan.
Frank Barone: No! No way! Lending money to Robert is the stupidest thing I ever heard.
Debra Barone: It wasn't a loan. It was a gift.
Frank Barone: I stand corrected.
07x04 - Pet the Bunny Season 7 / Episode 4: - Pet the Bunny

Frank Barone: I had to pet that bunny. Every night!
Raymond 'Ray' Barone: Every night?
Frank Barone: Every night! That damn bunny need some attention. You guys never did anything. "Buy us a bunny, Daddy. We'll take care of it." I was lied to!!
Raymond 'Ray' Barone: I was eight!
Frank Barone: And already a liar!
07x03 - Homework Season 7 / Episode 3: - Homework

Ray Barone: [after Frank stabs Ray with fork] Ow!... What did you do that for?
Frank Barone: I like pie!
07x03 - Homework Season 7 / Episode 3: - Homework

Ray Barone: All those sports books I read and all the sports I watched on TV, that's how I got to be where I'm at. [Marie reacts]
Marie Barone: [long pause] "That's how I got to be where I'm at"?
Ray Barone: Yeah, that's right.
Marie Barone: You're a writer, and that's how you use the English language?
Ray Barone: What? What are you talkin' about?
Marie Barone: You do not end a sentence with "at."
Ray Barone: Big deal, so I ended it with a proposition.
Marie Barone: Preposition, it's a prep- Oh my God!
Ray Barone: What? What are you getting so upset about?
Marie Barone: Because this is the end of civilization! People like you don't want to work or learn anything because they're too busy with their remote control television or playing with their hula-hoops! And before you know it, that's where we're at!
Frank Barone: Where the cookies at?
07x03 - Homework Season 7 / Episode 3: - Homework

Marie Barone: [as Marie reads the following Ray chases Frank around the kitchen trying to steal from the last piece of pie] Based on the readings of Mark Twain's "Tom Sawyer", which of the following would you recommend for fifth grade homework and why? A, a book report including cover art and illustrations. B, an oral report using period music and costumes. C, a craft project based on the pre-industrial Mississippi land. D, a fictional diary on one of the characters. Raymond! [Frank pokes Ray in the chest]
Ray Barone: Ow! What's wrong with you?
Frank Barone: I like pie.
Marie Barone: Raymond, pay attention. I'm gonna read you this again.
Ray Barone: No, not again. I heard it already. How about we don't make the kids read "Tom Sawyer"?
Marie Barone: What? It's an American classic.
Ray Barone: All right, then I say A.
Marie Barone: Good. Why?
Ray Barone: B.
07x01 - The Cult Season 7 / Episode 1: - The Cult

Raymond "Ray" Barone: No, I'm not going to one of those things. What if they drug me and I wake up chained to a goat?
Frank Barone: You just described my wedding.
06x24 - The First Time (3) Season 6 / Episode 24: - The First Time (3)

Marie Barone: Frank would like some more sauce?
Frank Barone: No sauce! Talk!

Marie Barone: How about you Robbie?
Robert Barone: [Extending out his plate] Yeah sure I'll take some more.
Frank Barone: You take that sauce and I'll kill you.
06x20 - A Vote for Debra Season 6 / Episode 20: - A Vote for Debra

Frank Barone: I don't know why you're letting her waste her time with this crap.
Ray Barone: No, Debra's right. She said it's important for parents to get involved in their kids' education. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Frank Barone: We never got involved with your education.
Robert Barone: That's right. Pa didn't go in for all that fancy book-larnin'.
Frank Barone: What? What did I pay taxes for? You think I had time to tell you what two plus two is?
Robert Barone: Well, maybe if you took more interest, who knows how far I could have gone?
Frank Barone: Four! Two plus two is four! Go get 'em, tiger!
06x19 - Talk to Your Daughter Season 6 / Episode 19: - Talk to Your Daughter

Frank Barone: You want to know the meaning of life? You're born, you go to school, you go to work, you die. Canole... Marie
06x16 - Lucky Suit Season 6 / Episode 16: - Lucky Suit

Robert Barone: Everybody, I have some great news!
Frank Barone: Your blue ox came home?
06x12 - Season's Greetings Season 6 / Episode 12: - Season's Greetings

Frank Barone: Be quiet! Be quiet!

Frank Barone: I'm hungry.
06x10 - Raybert Season 6 / Episode 10: - Raybert

Frank Barone: Didn't I teach you anything, you gotta problem with your woman you don't go out and get another one. Then you got two problems.
06x09 - Older Women Season 6 / Episode 9: - Older Women

Frank Barone: Kill is going to Debra you!
06x06 - Frank Goes Downstairs Season 6 / Episode 6: - Frank Goes Downstairs

Frank Barone: [fixing the stairs] Stupid, humped-up termite trap! [the stairwell collapses] AAH!
Marie Barone: Oh my God! Frank! Are you all right?
Frank Barone: ...Holy crap!
Marie Barone: Don't move! I'm coming right down!
Frank Barone: I'm in enough pain!
06x06 - Frank Goes Downstairs Season 6 / Episode 6: - Frank Goes Downstairs

Marie Barone: I told him not to work on those stairs. I KNEW something like this would happen! I can't bare to see him hurt. [to Frank] Why are you such a stubborn Jackass?
Frank Barone: Doctor, could I have THIS removed? [points to Marie]
Marie Barone: Doctor, before you go, is there such a thing as a "Personality Transplant"?
06x06 - Frank Goes Downstairs Season 6 / Episode 6: - Frank Goes Downstairs

Debra Barone: So, how's the rib, Frank?
Frank Barone: Okay, but I still can't burp the way I used to.
Ray Barone: Just stick to your rehab, dad.
Frank Barone: Boy am I glad to be out of that hospital. They had me so drugged up I didn't know whether I was coming or going.
Marie Barone: I thought what they had you on was marvelous. I'm going to call Mexico to try and get some for the house.
06x05 - Marie's Sculpture Season 6 / Episode 5: - Marie's Sculpture

Janitor: [about Marie's sculpture] If you ask me I think it looks like a...
Frank Barone: [the Janitor whispers in Frank's ear and leaves. Frank continues to stare at the sculpture] Holy crap!
06x04 - Ray's Ring Season 6 / Episode 4: - Ray's Ring

Frank Barone: You send your little lady out into a man's world with a naked finger? It's like banana time in the monkey cage!
06x01 - The Angry Family Season 6 / Episode 1: - The Angry Family

Adam: Do any of you feel that the "anger" gets out of control?
Ray Barone: No.
Debra Barone: No, I really don't.
Frank Barone: No, no way.
Marie Barone: Yes.
Debra Barone: What?
Marie Barone: Yes, I do feel that the anger sometimes gets out of control. I feel it whenever I come into the house.
Ray Barone: There is a solution.
06x01 - The Angry Family Season 6 / Episode 1: - The Angry Family

Marie Barone: You think Michael's book is my fault, don't you? Don't you? Huh? If there's ever a problem in the family, it's the mother. It's *always* the mother. Well, you all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. And you, you-you allow that, Father Hubley? Shame on you. That's right. You had a mother. And you allowed all this to happen in your school, in your parish. This "new psychology" that children are always right, that they're being rewarded for every little thing they do with the stickers. I mean, these kids are coming home full of stickers for doing nothing! "Ooh, I went to the potty." "Here's a sticker." In my day, you had to *earn* a reward, and even then, you didn't get it. And if there was yelling in the house, you earned that, too. There was nothing to be ashamed of. I want to tell you something. There is nothing wrong with this family. We're very close, we're very open, and we're very loving, cause I make sure of it. But everybody has to make a big deal. You have to have a meeting, you have to have an inquiry, you have to have a witch hunt!
Frank Barone: I think they found one.
05x25 - Ally's Birth Season 5 / Episode 25: - Ally's Birth

Frank Barone: I hate all of these damn fire hydrants. I'm glad dogs pee on them.
05x24 - Frank Paints the House Season 5 / Episode 24: - Frank Paints the House

Ray Barone: [On the back of Robert's neck] Wasp.
Robert Barone: Agggggghhh!

Frank Barone: [without stopping; at Marie's face] That's gonna need another coat.

Previous: Marie Barone Next: Amy MacDougall Barone
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