05x22 - Vows Season 5 / Episode 22: - Vows

Lois Morgan: Oh, no. I couldn't possibly pull that off.
Paige Clark: Sure you could... right over your head!
05x22 - Vows Season 5 / Episode 22: - Vows

Lois Morgan: My little girl.
Ellen Morgan: Don't cry, Mom. I'll find my sheep.
05x22 - Vows Season 5 / Episode 22: - Vows

Ellen: [Reading a poem at the renewal of her parents' vows] There once was a man named Morgan, who was blessed with a very large... OKAY!
05x17 - It's a Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay World! Season 5 / Episode 17: - It's a Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay World!

TV Announcer: [voice-over] This series contains adult subject matter. Parental discretion is advised. Strongly, STRONGLY advised!


Ellen Morgan: It's so silly that they give a warning for that show just because Helen Hunt kisses that guy.
05x12 - Womyn Fest Season 5 / Episode 12: - Womyn Fest

Audrey: This is so exciting. We're like Thelma and Louise. And Paige.
05x11 - Break Up Season 5 / Episode 11: - Break Up

Holly: Can I watch TV? Thanks!
Laurie Manning: Okay, but don't go flipping the channels, because you never know what's going to be on.
Ellen Morgan: Oh, come on. I'm sure if there was something objectionable on, there'll be a warning.
05x09 - Like a Virgin Season 5 / Episode 9: - Like a Virgin

Peter: Ellen, you're getting way to hung up on the physical part of it. Laurie is not going to scorn you like at the Olympics.
Ellen: Thank God. I hate to wait another four years to try it again.
Peter: Let me tell you about the first night I spent with Barrett.
Ellen: No thank you!
Peter: We didn't do anything. He had to work late at the studio the night before. He showed up at my place exhausted. We were sitting on the couch talking over a glass of wine, and he just fell asleep. So, I lay there in his arms, resting my head against his chest, all night, listening to his heart beating. It was the most comforting sound I ever heard. After years of feeling that nobody understood me, I didn't belong... I felt like I was finally home.
Ellen: Wow... I wanna sleep with Barrett.
05x08 - Emma Season 5 / Episode 8: - Emma

Ellen Morgan: I can't believe it. Emma Thompson is gay.
Paige Clark: So what? Half this town is gay, and the other half pretends to be gay in order to kiss up to David Geffen.
05x07 - Public Display of Affection Season 5 / Episode 7: - Public Display of Affection

Ellen Morgan: Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?
Holly: Like what?
Ellen Morgan: Start at the beginning.
Holly: I was conceived through artificial insemination.
05x06 - G.I. Ellen Season 5 / Episode 6: - G.I. Ellen

Sgt. Timko: That does it, Morgan! Get down on the ground and give me 20!
Ellen Morgan: I don't have a $20 bill. Will you take two 10's?
05x05 - Just Coffee Season 5 / Episode 5: - Just Coffee

Ellen Morgan: Well, I'd better get home. I don't want to butt in. I'm sure you two want to be alone.
Laurie Manning: What? Oh no, Ellen. Maura and I are not a couple.
Maura: Oh no... no, no, no. I know it's not trendy, but I still like men. Except for the one I married who never leaves the house.
05x01 - Guys or Dolls Season 5 / Episode 1: - Guys or Dolls

Spence Kovak: What the hell kind of lesbian are you?
04x23 - The Puppy Episode (2) Season 4 / Episode 23: - The Puppy Episode (2)

Audrey: So, what should we call you, gay or lesbian?
Ellen: How about "Ellen"?
04x23 - The Puppy Episode (2) Season 4 / Episode 23: - The Puppy Episode (2)

Audrey: You've been living in our world, now we want to experience your world.
Ellen: Since when did my world become a lesbian coffeehouse?
04x23 - The Puppy Episode (2) Season 4 / Episode 23: - The Puppy Episode (2)

Audrey: The man has oppressed our people long enough. United we stand. Divided we fall. Queer nation one and all.
Ellen: For the last time, Audrey, you're not a lesbian.
Audrey: Well, I could be if it wasn't for my insatiable appetite for men.
04x23 - The Puppy Episode (2) Season 4 / Episode 23: - The Puppy Episode (2)

Paige: I still can't believe that Ellen is gay.
Spence: Well, I always thought for a while she might be. I mean she could always run faster than I could, throw a ball farther, climb a tree faster...
Joe Farrell: Did you ever think maybe YOU were gay?
04x23 - The Puppy Episode (2) Season 4 / Episode 23: - The Puppy Episode (2)

Therapist: Well, Ellen... I am going to say this even though I may be out of line... but good for you. You're gay. So, what are you going to do now?
Ellen Morgan: I'm going to Disneyland!
Therapist: No, I mean do you plan on talking to your friends?
Ellen Morgan: Of course. I'm not gonna stop talking to them just because I'm... Oh, you mean telling them that I'm gay? Oh, no. That's none of their business.
Therapist: Well, do you think you would feel more comfortable talking to your parents?


Ellen Morgan: All right, you win. I'll talk to my friends.
04x23 - The Puppy Episode (2) Season 4 / Episode 23: - The Puppy Episode (2)

Ellen Morgan: Do you think this is a bad idea? Telling people that I'm gay?
Peter Barnes: Believe me, Ellen. Telling people is always hard. I remember when I came out to my parents. It was one summer when I was younger. I sat them down on our couch and said to them: "Mom, Dad, I've struggled with this for a long time. But this is who I am. Now, I can only hope you can be happy for me." For the rest of the summer, they remained silent. But the following autumn when I entered kindergarten, they were 100% behind me.
04x23 - The Puppy Episode (2) Season 4 / Episode 23: - The Puppy Episode (2)

Therapist: Have you ever had this dream before?
Ellen Morgan: Oh, not in a grocery store. Usually, I'm in a hardware store having lesbian keys made up.
Therapist: Ellen, these dreams mean that your inner guilt about denying who you are is eating away at you. If you keep this to yourself, you're just going to continue having these dreams. And then it's going to start showing up in your waking life as these little clues that start getting more and more obvious, and eventually... tiresome.
04x22 - The Puppy Episode (1) Season 4 / Episode 22: - The Puppy Episode (1)

Therapist: So, obviously you didn't "click" with Richard.


Therapist: Was there ever anyone you felt you did "click" with?


Therapist: And what was his name?
Ellen: Susan.
04x22 - The Puppy Episode (1) Season 4 / Episode 22: - The Puppy Episode (1)

Ellen: You know how, uh, you know, you said in the room, you know, that you thought maybe I was... and I said no... no no no no... well, um, uh, I I I was thinkin' about it, you know? And I think that maybe I'm, um, I am, uh, I guess what I'm trying to say is: I did get the joke about the toaster oven.
Susan: So, are you saying what I think you're trying to say?
Ellen: What do you think I'm trying to say?
Susan: Oh, I'm not going to say it again and be wrong.
Ellen: No, you're not wrong. You're right. This is, uh, this is so hard. But I I I I think I've realized that I am... I can't even say the word. Why can't I say the word? I mean, why can't I just say... I mean, what is wrong? Why do I have to be so ashamed? I mean, why can't I just say the truth? I mean, be who I am. I'm thirty-five-years-old. I'm so afraid to tell people. I mean, I just... Susan...


Ellen: [loud voice over the microphone] I'm gay!
04x16 - Ellen Unplugged Season 4 / Episode 16: - Ellen Unplugged

Spence Kovak: Ellen, this is rock and roll camp fantasy camp. You can be anyone you want to be here. Melissa Ethridge, k.d. lang, the Indigo Girls, Tina Turner.
Ellen Morgan: Tina Turner? You mean...
Spence Kovak: Oh, yeah.
Ellen Morgan: All right!
04x14 - Joe's Kept Secret Season 4 / Episode 14: - Joe's Kept Secret

Ellen Morgan: How long have you been seeing her?
Joe Farrell: Four months now.
Ellen Morgan: Four months? Why didn't you tell me about this?
Joe Farrell: Well, Madeline is a little older than I am. I didn't want to be judged on something so irrevelent as age.
Ellen Morgan: Joe, who am I to judge anybody on relationships? I only hope that if one day I have a slightly odd relationship, you will not judge me.
04x14 - Joe's Kept Secret Season 4 / Episode 14: - Joe's Kept Secret

Ellen Morgan: I'm really happy for you.
Joe Farrell: Well... thanks. It finally feels great to get this out in the open. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to keep this a secret? Living a lie? Scared of what others might think about you?
Ellen Morgan: No.
04x11 - Bowl, Baby, Bowl Season 4 / Episode 11: - Bowl, Baby, Bowl

Ellen Morgan: [opening lines] Well, let's see... the first time... I was with a man. And then I was with a woman for a little while. Then, I was with a man again. Then... another man. Let's see... then woman... woman... man... woman... and then another man. And lately I'm beginning to think that it doesn't really matter if it's a man or a woman. It's the person that counts. But one thing I know for sure is that I cannot keep going from therapist to therapist like this.
04x06 - The Bubble Gum Incident Season 4 / Episode 6: - The Bubble Gum Incident

Little Paige: Why would Megan O'Connell do this to me? Why would she put gum in my hair.
Little Ellen: Paige, I need to tell you something. I...


Little Paige: Yes?
Little Ellen: Uh... that was really mean for her to put gum in your hair. But it could have been a lot worse, she could have put... uh... hair in your gum. And when you're chewing it and... you feeling something hanging in the back of your throat like a hairball or something and then you'd cough like this... [little Ellen coughs like a gagging sound]
04x03 - Splitsville, Man Season 4 / Episode 3: - Splitsville, Man

Ellen: This cannot be real. I mean, I know it's a dream and I'm gonna wake up and you'll be there and you'll be there...
Joe Farrell: What about me, your old pal Joe?
Audrey: Ellen, I know exactly what's happening. She's going through the five stages of grief. [loudly] ELLEN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Ellen: Yes, Audrey. I don't think that deafness is one of the stages.
Audrey: Okay. What you're going through is perfectly normal. You're in the first stage of grief, which is denial.
Ellen: If I could just change today I would do anything.
Audrey: Okay, now you're in stage three: bargaining. You completely skipped over anger.
Ellen: Shut up, Audrey!
Audrey: There it is!
04x03 - Splitsville, Man Season 4 / Episode 3: - Splitsville, Man

Margaret: Ellen? Ellen, where are you?
Ellen: [walks out of a coat closet] Here, I was in the closet.
Margaret: It's big, isn't it?
Ellen: Yeah, but I wouldn't want to spend a lot of time in there, entertaining or anything.
04x03 - Splitsville, Man Season 4 / Episode 3: - Splitsville, Man

Ellen: I want to know why. Why you're separating. There's got to be a reason.
Lois Morgan: I know you want some big answer like that I found your father in bed with another woman but it just didn't happen that way.
Harold Morgan: Amen to that. What happened was the other night, we were sitting in the kitchen eating some of your mom's famous broasted chicken and she looked up at me and she said, "What are we going to do for the rest of our lives?" I said, "I don't know." And that was it.
Lois Morgan: We just sort of... fell out of love I guess.
Ellen: So you fell out of love. You can fall back in love. It's like bell bottoms, wait 15 years it'll come back around again.
Harold Morgan: Honey, I wish there was some way we can make this easy for you, but we can't.
Ellen: This so out of nowhere. Put yourself in my shoes. What if I said something shocking to you like my whole life has been a lie, and I'm really... left-handed?
Lois Morgan: Oh God, you're a lefty?
Ellen: No I'm not...
04x02 - A Deer Head for Joe Season 4 / Episode 2: - A Deer Head for Joe

Ellen: I think you owe Joe an apology.
Ed Billick: What am I supposed to say, "I'm sorry you're a lazy, incompetent slob and I had to fire you?"
Ellen: Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

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