Type
Scripted
Premiered
Jan. 12, 1967
Status
Canceled/Ended
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
NBC TV Network
Genre

Top Contributors

04x26 - D.H.Q. - The Victims Season 4 / Episode 26: - D.H.Q. - The Victims

Tim Walker: [last lines of the Dragnet series] Sure is a great world isn't it sergeant.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Sir?
Tim Walker: That two-bit thief gets his rights and Julio gets his last ones.
04x24 - Robbery - The Harassing Wife Season 4 / Episode 24: - Robbery - The Harassing Wife

Sam Golden: [a store owner is annoyed that Friday isn't out looking for the robber] I gave you a perfect description: he's 5'-9" or 10"; grayish black hair; medium build, not fat or thin; his eyes are brown; his nose is straight; he combs his hair with a part on the side. Now you go out and find a guy just like that!
Sergeant Joe Friday: And you'd like us to arrest him when we do?
Sam Golden: Well, certainly I would.
Sergeant Joe Friday: I'm afraid then we've got a problem here.
Sam Golden: What do you mean by that?
Sergeant Joe Friday: Well, that description fits you too.
04x17 - A.I.D. - The Weekend Season 4 / Episode 17: - A.I.D. - The Weekend

Sergeant Joe Friday: By the way, what do you do for a living?
Systems Analyst: I'm a systems analyst, myself.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Oh? What's a systems analyst do?
Systems Analyst: I analyze systems.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Makes sense.
04x12 - Bunco - $9,000 Season 4 / Episode 12: - Bunco - $9,000

Sergeant Joe Friday: The Ruby Room was a long way from opening night at the Palace. From the looks of it, some of the acts that started here probably ended up in the county jail.
04x12 - Bunco - $9,000 Season 4 / Episode 12: - Bunco - $9,000

Sergeant Joe Friday: Mrs. Perriwinkle, you really should put your money in a savings account. You know that. You're taking a dangerous risk hiding it here.
Myrtle Perriwinkle: A bank? Never. Don't trust them, never will. Never! Anyway, money is not my god. The Lord is my god.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Yes ma'am, but a bank is still a good place to keep your money.
04x07 - Homicide - Cigarette Butt Season 4 / Episode 7: - Homicide - Cigarette Butt

Jack Burke: [screams at his wife who just ratted on him] You shut up you no good little tramp just shut up!
Officer Bill Gannon: Alright take it easy.
Jack Burke: What do you mean take it easy she just threw my life away?
Sergeant Joe Friday: No you did when you took his.
04x06 - Juvenile - The Little Pusher Season 4 / Episode 6: - Juvenile - The Little Pusher

David Freeman: I told her a hundred times, be careful baby, don't get too high. She just wouldn't listen to me!
Sergeant Joe Friday: Oh she listened to you Freeman.
David Freeman: She did?
Sergeant Joe Friday: That was her trouble.
04x05 - Burglary - Mister Season 4 / Episode 5: - Burglary - Mister

Officer Bill Gannon: Are you Daniel Lumis?
Mr. Daniel Lumis: I'm Mr. Daniel Lumis, yes.
Officer Bill Gannon: I'm "Mr." Officer Gannon and this is "Mr." Sergeant Friday.
04x05 - Burglary - Mister Season 4 / Episode 5: - Burglary - Mister

Officer Bill Gannon: [referring to Daniel Loomis]... for sheer *gall*, this guy has *got* to win the prize!
03x25 - Juvenile - DR-35 Season 3 / Episode 25: - Juvenile - DR-35

Donna Halpern: You don't think very much of me do you.
Sergeant Joe Friday: It doesn't really matter what I think.
Donna Halpern: Come on what do you think of me.
Sergeant Joe Friday: 12 cents and what I think will buy you a cup of coffee.
03x25 - Juvenile - DR-35 Season 3 / Episode 25: - Juvenile - DR-35

Officer Bill Gannon: [a nurse hands Gannon the baby's blanket] Grey who ever heard of a grey baby blanket it's suppose to be pink for a little girl.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Who ever heard of of a pink shroud?
03x18 - The Joy Riders Season 3 / Episode 18: - The Joy Riders

Officer Bill Gannon: Absolutely senseless never saw the man before.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Yeah?
Officer Bill Gannon: Blew his head off.
03x18 - The Joy Riders Season 3 / Episode 18: - The Joy Riders

Sergeant Joe Friday: [Mrs Rustin comes in from shopping] Your boy is under arrest Mrs Rustin.
Mrs. Eunice Rustin: For what?
Sergeant Joe Friday: Suspicion of murder
Mrs. Eunice Rustin: [Drops her bags] Dear God in heaven.
Harold F. Rustin: Oh come on mom don't listen to these guys.
Mrs. Eunice Rustin: Are you sure?
Officer Bill Gannon: Yes we're sure.
Mrs. Eunice Rustin: [Starts sobbing and screaming] Haven't I given you everything why Harold? Answer me! Answer ME!
Sergeant Joe Friday: I don't think he can Mrs Rustin.
Mrs. Eunice Rustin: Why can't he?
Sergeant Joe Friday: He doesn't have one.
03x17 - Administrative Vice - DR-29 Season 3 / Episode 17: - Administrative Vice - DR-29

Sergeant Joe Friday: How's the invalid?
Officer Bill Gannon: Oh, pretty good I guess. Pull up a chair, that red rocker there.
Sergeant Joe Friday: This one?
Officer Bill Gannon: Well, that's the only red rocker in the room, Joe. See how it rocks and it's all red?
03x14 - Homicide - DR-22 Season 3 / Episode 14: - Homicide - DR-22

Capt. Hugh Brown: Cal Lampe you old war hose the minute I seen that FBI kick back I just knew it had to be you.
Calvin Lampe: How you doing Hugh? You're looking good.
Capt. Hugh Brown: Good. You know this is one of the finest detectives I have ever known.44 years with the Chicago PD retired with the rank of deputy chief.This isn't your suspect is he.
Sergeant Joe Friday: No sir Bill and I were beginning to think we were his.
Officer Bill Gannon: [looks at the FBI kickback] I get the feeling I missed something Chicago PD.
03x14 - Homicide - DR-22 Season 3 / Episode 14: - Homicide - DR-22

Calvin Lampe: Easy there boy.
Off. Dave Dorman: Whats the trouble.
Calvin Lampe: Trouble is your using to much ink.
Off. Dave Dorman: I've took a finger print or two in my day.
Calvin Lampe: How many were classifiable .
03x14 - Homicide - DR-22 Season 3 / Episode 14: - Homicide - DR-22

Off. Dave Dorman: [points to a palm print on the wall] As Calvin Lampe would say there is a print you can get a ridge count from.
Officer Bill Gannon: Yeah.
Off. Dave Dorman: And he ourta know its his.
03x14 - Homicide - DR-22 Season 3 / Episode 14: - Homicide - DR-22

Capt. Hugh Brown: [Comes in holding a jewelry case] Friday there is a girl outside you'd better to talk to her.
Calvin Lampe: Where did you get that Hugh?
Capt. Hugh Brown: Why?
Calvin Lampe: That's Mary Jenkins jewelry case.
03x10 - Public Affairs - DR-14 Season 3 / Episode 10: - Public Affairs - DR-14

Lisa Ruby: [two men where having a fake fight] My bouncer could of handled the fight.
Sergeant Joe Friday: While the phony fight was going on.
Lisa Ruby: Yes.
Sergeant Joe Friday: [Friday has the thief] This little lady was busy tapping your till.
03x08 - Public Affairs - DR-12 Season 3 / Episode 8: - Public Affairs - DR-12

Agent Roger Franke: One last thing. I usually recite this to remind myself. Back home I work the White House detail. Before all agents sign in, there's a little deal that hangs in a frame above the sign-in desk. It's required reading by all of us. Its part of an article that appeared in a Washington newspaper sometime back. Short and to the point. Goes something like this: "Last night, a man approached the Presidential Box and confronted the guard outside. The visitor was well dressed, and his demeanor appeared normal. Said he had a message for the President. For one brief moment, the guard relaxed his vigil and permitted the man to enter the box without proper clearance. Thirty seconds later, Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, lay dying of a pistol ball shot in the head."
03x07 - Robbery - DR-15 Season 3 / Episode 7: - Robbery - DR-15

Sergeant Joe Friday: You'd better get going those guys weren't kidding.
Sgt. Hank Seret: How many where there?
Sergeant Joe Friday: 3 on the way in they each shot holes in the roof of the bank.
Sgt. Jack Williams: How much did they get?
Sergeant Joe Friday: A bundle maybe 50 grand.
Sgt. Jack Williams: Big score.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Bigger than that on the way out they shot and killed a customer.
03x07 - Robbery - DR-15 Season 3 / Episode 7: - Robbery - DR-15

Friday: Unless you're growin', sit down.
02x25 - The Big Departure Season 2 / Episode 25: - The Big Departure

Sergeant Joe Friday: Don't think you have a corner on all the virtue vision in the country or that everyone else is fat and selfish and yours is the first generation to come along that's felt dissatisfied. They all have, you know, about different things; and most of them didn't have the opportunity and freedoms that you have. Let's talk poverty. In most parts of the world, that's not a problem, it's a way of life. And rights? They're liable to give you a blank stare because they may not know what you're talking about. The fact is, more people are living better right here than anyone else ever before in history. So don't expect us to roll over and play dead when you say you're dissatisfied. It's not perfect, but it's a great deal better than when we grew up: a hundred men standing in the street hoping for one job, selling apples on the street corner. That's one of the things we were dissatisfied about, and you don't see that much anymore.
Officer Bill Gannon: You're taller, stronger, healthier, and you live longer than the last generation; and we don't think that's altogether bad. You've probably never seen a "Quarantine" sign on a neighbor's door. Diphtheria, scarlet fever, whooping cough; probably none of your classmates are crippled with polio. You don't see many mastoid scars anymore. We've done quite a bit of fighting all around the world. Whether you think it was moral or not a lot of people are free to make their own mistakes today because of it. And that may just include you.
Sergeant Joe Friday: I don't know, maybe part of it's the fact that you're in a hurry. You've grown up on instant orange juice. Flip a dial - instant entertainment. Dial seven digits - instant communication. Turn a key - push a pedal - instant transportation. Flash a card - instant money. Shove in a problem - push a few buttons - instant answers. But some problems you can't get quick answers for, no matter how much you want them. We took a little boy into Central Receiving Hospital yesterday; he's four years old. He weighs eight-and-a-half pounds. His parents just hadn't bothered to feed him. Now give me a fast answer to that one; one that'll stop that from ever happening again. And if you can't settle that one, how about the 55,000 Americans who'll die on the highway this year? That's nearly six or seven times the number that'll get killed in Vietnam. Why aren't you up in arms about that? Or is dying in a car somehow moral? Show me how to wipe out prejudice. I'll settle for the prejudices you have inside yourselves. Show me how to get rid of the unlimited capacity for human beings to make themselves believe they're somehow right - and justified - in stealing from somebody, or hurting somebody, and you'll just about put this place here out of business!
Officer Bill Gannon: Don't think we're telling you to lose your ideals or your sense of outrage. They're the only way things ever get done. And there's a lot more that still needs doing. And we hope you'll tackle it. You don't have to do anything dramatic like coming up with a better country. You can find enough to keep you busy right here. In the meantime, don't break things up in the name of progress or crack a placard stick over someone's head to make him see the light. Be careful of his rights. Because your property and your person and your rights aren't any better than his. And the next time you may be the one to get it. We remember a man who killed six million people, and called it social improvement.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Don't try to build a new country. Make this one work. It has for over four hundred years; and by the world's standards, that's hardly more than yesterday.
02x18 - The Big Prophet Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Big Prophet

Friday: Don't you con me with your mind-expansion slop. I deal with kids every day. I try to clean up the mess that people like you make out of 'em. I'm the expert here. You're not.
02x18 - The Big Prophet Season 2 / Episode 18: - The Big Prophet

Friday: Marijuana's the flame, heroin's the fuse, LSD's the bomb.
02x09 - The Big Ad Season 2 / Episode 9: - The Big Ad

Harvey Forrester: Lousy, sloppy drunk.
Friday: Don't knock her, Forrester, she had a good reason to drink.
Harvey Forrester: And what's that?
Friday: Being married to you.
02x08 - The Big High Season 2 / Episode 8: - The Big High

Officer Bill Gannon: Joe, you can handle this for a minute, can't you?
Friday: You all right?
Officer Bill Gannon: First time since I've been on the job...
Friday: Yeah?
Officer Bill Gannon: I think I'm gonna be sick.

02x07 - The Big Senior Citizen Season 2 / Episode 7: - The Big Senior Citizen

Officer Bill Gannon: [Smith posing as a dry cleaner] Are you their dry cleaner.
Charles Augustus William Smith: No I came to make love to the upstairs maid.
02x04 - The Bank Jobs Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Bank Jobs

Richard Madden: Imagine a stinking broad wiping up the sidewalk with you. That dame's as strong as an ox.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Sure, she must weigh at least 120 pounds.
Richard Madden: What is she, a lady wrestler?
Sergeant Joe Friday: Linebacker for the Cleveland Browns.
02x01 - The Grenade Season 2 / Episode 1: - The Grenade

Sergeant Joe Friday: The pin, Bill, put it in!
Officer Bill Gannon: Give me a minute.
Sergeant Joe Friday: We may not have a minute, put it in!

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