Type
Scripted
Premiered
Sep. 30, 1982
Status
Completed/Ended
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
NBC TV Network
Genre

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Cheers tv show photo

Cheers

Cheers is a popular American situation comedy. The show is set in the Cheers bar (itself named for the toast "Cheers") in Boston, Massachusetts, where a group of locals meet to drink and generally have fun. The show's theme song written by Judy Hart Angelo & Gary Portnoy, & performed by Portnoy with its famous refrain, "where everybody knows your name", also became the show's tagline.

09x13 - Honor Thy Mother Season 9 / Episode 13: - Honor Thy Mother

Mama Lozupone: So here, now that we've made peace, I want you to have the ring that my mother gave to me, and her mother gave to her.
Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Oh, Mama. The ring!


Carla Tortelli-LeBec: What's this?
Mama Lozupone: I hawked it.
09x13 - Honor Thy Mother Season 9 / Episode 13: - Honor Thy Mother

Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Mama. I'm not rejecting you. I just don't want to name one of my sons Benito Mussolini.
Mama Lozupone: [incredulous] Why not?
Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Because, back a few years, there was another Benito Mussolini. Remember him?
Mama Lozupone: I don't see why one fascist dictator should ruin it for the entire family.
Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Mama, you are the only one who even cares about that stupid name. Everyone else agrees with me, right?
Zia: Oh, you're an ungrateful child.
Sal: You make me sick.
Angeline: Bitch!
09x13 - Honor Thy Mother Season 9 / Episode 13: - Honor Thy Mother

Carla Tortelli-LeBec: All of the kids were there, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask them if anyone would fulfil their Grandmother's dying wish and change their name to Benito Mussolini.
Sam Malone: Any takers?
Carla Tortelli-LeBec: No, but I got two Madonnas and an MC Hammer.
09x13 - Honor Thy Mother Season 9 / Episode 13: - Honor Thy Mother

Carla Tortelli-LeBec: [about changing his name to Benito Mussolini] Look, Gino, do you even have any idea who Mussolini was?
Gino Tortelli: Well no, I didn't before but then Anthony told me all about him. Ma, this guy ran this whole country. And do you know what they called him? They called him Il Duce. Huh? The Duche! Hey yeah, that's right, it's me, Duche Tortelli.
09x12 - Woody Interruptus Season 9 / Episode 12: - Woody Interruptus

Sam Malone: I'm Sam Malone by the way.
Henrí: Oh, I've heard about you in France.
Sam Malone: Oh, yeah, you follow baseball?
Henrí: No, stewardesses.
09x12 - Woody Interruptus Season 9 / Episode 12: - Woody Interruptus

Sam Malone: Listen, Kelly is Woody's girlfriend. I'm sure you could have any woman you want.
Henrí: I know, but Kelly is so innocent and naive. I love to change that.
Sam Malone: Boy, I'm kind of torn here. I mean, Woody is my closest friend, but that's a real solid argument.
09x12 - Woody Interruptus Season 9 / Episode 12: - Woody Interruptus

Woody Boyd: What do you think of premartial sex, Mr. P?
Norm Peterson: Well, Wood, there's an old saying you know, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Then of course, you get married and you wake up one day and realize, "Oh my God, I married a cow."
09x11 - Norm and Cliff's Excellent Adventure Season 9 / Episode 11: - Norm and Cliff's Excellent Adventure

Sam Malone: I keep calling the house and the machine keeps picking up.
Carla Tortelli: Oh, Lilith answers?
09x11 - Norm and Cliff's Excellent Adventure Season 9 / Episode 11: - Norm and Cliff's Excellent Adventure

Rebecca Howe: Woody, I cannot accept these. People are going to get the wrong idea.
Woody Boyd: What, that I have a crush on you?
Rebecca Howe: No, that I like crap.
Woody Boyd: You calling this stuff crap?
Rebecca Howe: I'm sorry Woody.
Woody Boyd: No, no, I was looking for the right word.
Rebecca Howe: If you don't like it either, why do you keep buying this stuff?
Woody Boyd: Not stuff, Miss Howe - crap. I buy it because it looks good on TV. And the second they flash that eight hundred number, I'm dialling.
Rebecca Howe: Woody, this has got to stop.
Woody Boyd: Well, it has stopped Miss Howe. I went over my credit limit with this crap, unless of course you care to advance me six months on my paycheck - could be another necklace in it for you! And if you decide not to give me the advance, just keep the necklace as your free gift.
Rebecca Howe: Woody, you are hooked. Listen to me. You need help.
Woody Boyd: [angrily] I don't need help. I just need more credit.
Woody Boyd: [breaks down in tears] You're right, Miss Howe. I do need help. I'm scared. Help me. Hurry. Act now.
09x11 - Norm and Cliff's Excellent Adventure Season 9 / Episode 11: - Norm and Cliff's Excellent Adventure

Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: You know, Frasier, after hearing you complain about that for the umpteenth time, it's becoming impossible for me to sympathize.
Dr. Frasier Crane: [under his breath] Of course not - sympathy is a human emotion.
09x11 - Norm and Cliff's Excellent Adventure Season 9 / Episode 11: - Norm and Cliff's Excellent Adventure

Norm Peterson: Frase, uh, just out of curiosity, what did you have for dinner? Let me guess.
Norm Peterson: [opens Frasier's kitchen door and takes a few deep breaths] Ah, porterhouse steaks smothered with mushrooms, green beans with sliced almonds, some apple brown betty, and decaf cappucino.
Dr. Frasier Crane: [laughs] Actually, we had Chinese brought in.
Norm Peterson: [sniffs around himself] Ah, it must be in my coat.
09x10 - Veggie-Boyd Season 9 / Episode 10: - Veggie-Boyd

Sam Malone: So, Jill, it's great to meet such a talented actress. Is there anything I can look forward to seeing you in - like my shower?
09x10 - Veggie-Boyd Season 9 / Episode 10: - Veggie-Boyd

Cliff Clavin: You know Woody, the way that Ma got me used to a new vegetable like, say Brussels sprouts, she used to put a few in each of my pockets and have me walk around with them all day.
Woody Boyd: Well, thanks Mr. Clavin, but Brussel sprouts aren't the problem.
Cliff Clavin: Oh, you should try it anyway. It's a nice feeling.
09x09 - Bad Neighbor Sam Season 9 / Episode 9: - Bad Neighbor Sam

John Allen Hill: [about Woody] He's cute. Does he come with his own duelling banjo?
09x09 - Cheers 200th Anniversary Special (2) Season 9 / Episode 9: - Cheers 200th Anniversary Special (2)

John Allen Hill: [about Woody] He's cute. Does he come with his own duelling banjo?
09x09 - Bad Neighbor Sam Season 9 / Episode 9: - Bad Neighbor Sam

Woody Boyd: [to Norm, Frasier and Cliff about the man on the phone] Do you know what that pervert said to me? 'Allô'. What does that mean in English?
Norm Peterson: Wai, wai, wait, I took some French in high school. I think allô, allô means, um, 'I've got your girlfriend in my arms and, um, soon we'll be naked, you stupid cuckold'.
Cliff Clavin: That's funny, Norm, because I thought it meant, 'I have your girlfriend in my arms and we're already naked, you stupid cuckold'.
Dr. Frasier Crane: [to Norm and Cliff] Oh, for God sake, stop hectoring the poor lad.
Dr. Frasier Crane: [to Woody] It simply means that I enjoyed your girlfriend...
09x09 - Cheers 200th Anniversary Special (2) Season 9 / Episode 9: - Cheers 200th Anniversary Special (2)

Woody Boyd: [to Norm, Frasier and Cliff about the man on the phone] Do you know what that pervert said to me? 'Allô'. What does that mean in English?
Norm Peterson: Wai, wai, wait, I took some French in high school. I think allô, allô means, um, 'I've got your girlfriend in my arms and, um, soon we'll be naked, you stupid cuckold'.
Cliff Clavin: That's funny, Norm, because I thought it meant, 'I have your girlfriend in my arms and we're already naked, you stupid cuckold'.
Dr. Frasier Crane: [to Norm and Cliff] Oh, for God sake, stop hectoring the poor lad.
Dr. Frasier Crane: [to Woody] It simply means that I enjoyed your girlfriend...
09x08 - Breaking in is Hard to Do Season 9 / Episode 8: - Breaking in is Hard to Do

John McLaughlin: Young man, a beer please.
Woody: Hey, you're on Sunday morning TV, aren't you.
John McLaughlin: Indeed.
Woody: Are you, uh, David Brinkley?
John McLaughlin: No.
Woody: Sam Donaldson?
John McLaughlin: Give me a break.
Woody: Oh, aren't you guy who keeps the gorgeous ladies of wrestling from tearing each other's hair out.
John McLaughlin: You could say that.
Woody: [as John McLaughlin takes out his money to pay, Woody says in awe] Oh, man, your money's no good here.
John McLaughlin: Actually, I'm John McLaughlin. I'm the moderator of a political round table called 'The McLaughlin Group'.
Woody: Oh. That'll be two-fifty.
09x07 - Cheers 200th Anniversary Special (1) Season 9 / Episode 7: - Cheers 200th Anniversary Special (1)

Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: If I had a problem and needed to talk to someone about it, would it be perpetuating a stereotype to actually select a bartender?
Sam Malone: It depends.
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: On what?
Sam Malone: On what you just said.
09x07 - Cheers 200th Anniversary Special (1) Season 9 / Episode 7: - Cheers 200th Anniversary Special (1)

Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: I feel like a failure - a failure as a mother, ergo as a woman and a person. Do you make a drink for failures here at Cheers?
Sam Malone: Ah, hold on a sec. Phil, what are you drinking?
Phil: A Manhattan.
Sam Malone: [to Lilith] Manhattan.
09x07 - Cheers 200th Anniversary Special (1) Season 9 / Episode 7: - Cheers 200th Anniversary Special (1)

Dr. Frasier Crane: [about spending the day at the bar with Frederick] I thought that Frederick might enjoy himself.
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: Enjoy himself in a bar? He's eleven months old. What kind of values can he learn here?
Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I thought the place had a lot to offer.
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: Oh, please. He'll never learn to speak in this environment.
Norm Peterson: [Norm walks into the bar] Afternoon everybody.
Frederick Crane: Norm!
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: [looks lovingly into Frederick's eyes] He said Mommy!
09x06 - Grease Season 9 / Episode 6: - Grease

Woody Boyd: How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
Norm Peterson: Pretty nervous when I'm in the room.
09x06 - Grease Season 9 / Episode 6: - Grease

Sam Malone: [about Norm] Maybe we shouldn't say anything that'd remind him of the Hungry Heifer when he comes back. Maybe not say any words like beef or meat.
Woody Boyd: What about 'meet' as in 'Let's meet for dinner tonight?'?
Sam Malone: Yeah, that'd be fine, Woody.
Woody Boyd: Great. Where did you want to go? Do you feel like Chinese?
Sam Malone: You know, on second thought, maybe that's not a good idea.
Woody Boyd: That's why I asked.
09x06 - Grease Season 9 / Episode 6: - Grease

Sam Malone: How's life treating you, Norm?
Norm Peterson: Beats me... then he kicks me, and then leaves me for dead.
09x06 - Grease Season 9 / Episode 6: - Grease

Norm Peterson: I love the Heifer. I don't know what I'm going to do without that place. It was like my home away from Cheers.
09x06 - Grease Season 9 / Episode 6: - Grease

Dr. Frasier Crane: Cliff, do you want to shoot some stick?
Cliff Clavin: Let's shoot some stick, doctor.
Woody Boyd: [as Cliff and Frasier head to the pool room] Oh hey, before you go back there Dr. Crane, I should tell you that Carla's keeping a guard on the pool table.
Dr. Frasier Crane: Why's she doing that?
Cliff Clavin: I guess she likes him.
09x05 - Ma Always Liked You Best Season 9 / Episode 5: - Ma Always Liked You Best

Rebecca Howe: I think we'll just make an entrance through the alley.
Sam Malone: Oh, you got to be kidding. What are you going to do? Bust a hole in my wall?
Norm Peterson: Oh, actually Sam, you know that window - the leaded stain glass window - is in a single wooden frame, so I think you could pop it out fairly easily with a crowbar. I think the opening is like four by eight which is perfectly good for a standard entrance. You build a little staircase and you've got a nice little doorway.
Sam Malone: Boy you've put a lot of thought into this.
Norm Peterson: It's always been a dream of mine to someday retire and build a little apartment back there.
09x05 - Ma Always Liked You Best Season 9 / Episode 5: - Ma Always Liked You Best

Esther Clavin: [to Cliff] I'm looking forward to seeing what you're doing with your life and how we can go about fixing it.
09x05 - Ma Always Liked You Best Season 9 / Episode 5: - Ma Always Liked You Best

Cliff Clavin: I got you a great hotel here. Look, it's got HBO...
Esther Clavin: You shouldn't go to that expense. All I need is a large appliance carton and I can sleep on the street with all the other forgotten mothers.
09x05 - Ma Always Liked You Best Season 9 / Episode 5: - Ma Always Liked You Best

Esther Clavin: What's your name?
Woody Boyd: Woody.
Esther Clavin: Woody! Oh, that's the name of a boy whose mother raised him right.
Woody Boyd: Really? 'Cause I looked it up and all I could find was "tree-like".

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