Type
Scripted
Premiered
Sep. 13, 2005
Status
Final Season
Runtime
60 min.
Country
USA
Network
FOX TV Network

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Characters: #6 of 16 (Full List)

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Dr. Lance Sweets Bones

Dr. Lance Sweets

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  Played by:
John Francis DaleyJohn Francis Daley
John Francis Daley (born July 20, 1985) began acting in the national and international tour of The Who's ...

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Dr. Lance Sweets Quotes

05x12 - The Proof in the Pudding Season 5 / Episode 12: - The Proof in the Pudding

Angela Montenegro: [after Booth has incapacitated the GSA Agents,] Oh my God.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Man, you Butch Cassidy'd 'em.
Dr. Lance Sweets: That was totally ninja. May be some anger issues there, but you kicked ass!
05x11 - The X in the File Season 5 / Episode 11: - The X in the File

Dr. Lance Sweets: [On the laptop] Sometimes, I think you just pull me into these interrogations to show off. [Booth starts to close the laptop] Wait Booth I...
05x11 - The X in the File Season 5 / Episode 11: - The X in the File

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm a better man than this...


Dr. Jack Hodgins: I want to be happy for them, you know. I really do.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, it's easier for us to accept loneliness, as long as the person we were once with is also alone.
05x11 - The X in the File Season 5 / Episode 11: - The X in the File

Dr. Lance Sweets: Do you want Angela back?... I don't think you're jealous. I think that you're grieving what you've lost.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Grieving? As in grief?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yes.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: The only thing that cures grief is time. Unless you're recommending a lot of alcohol.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I can't really recommend alcohol.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Man, it'd be great if you could though. Right?

05x10 - The Goop on the Girl Season 5 / Episode 10: - The Goop on the Girl

Daisy Wick: Colon, end bracket, colon, capital "D."
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Sweets laughs] Semi-colon, end parenthesis, less-than sign, numeral 3.
Daisy Wick: Colon, capital "P."
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh, dear God, I'm going to yak!
05x09 - The Gamer in the Grease Season 5 / Episode 9: - The Gamer in the Grease

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Guess you realize that being this excited about a sci fi movie will drastically cut down the number of women who will sleep with us.
Colin Fisher: Oh, I'm into the high double digits, sex-wise. So, not worried.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're closing in on - a hundred?
Colin Fisher: Mm-hmm.
05x09 - The Gamer in the Grease Season 5 / Episode 9: - The Gamer in the Grease

Angela Montenegro: You boys are not allowed to watch movies on my monitor.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Angela, this is *so* much more than a movie.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah. I mean, we're sorry but this screen is so *big*.
Colin Fisher: You get porn on this thing?
Angela Montenegro: Get out! OUT!
05x09 - The Gamer in the Grease Season 5 / Episode 9: - The Gamer in the Grease

Dr. Lance Sweets: Um, I'm sorry, I gotta make a call.
Tory Payne: Would it help you get over this girlfriend thing if maybe you saw my tattoos again?
05x09 - The Gamer in the Grease Season 5 / Episode 9: - The Gamer in the Grease

Dr. Lance Sweets: [On his cellphone] I - where are you guys? I need backup.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You told me to get lost. So now I have to test the tensile strength of...
Dr. Lance Sweets: Just, please! I need to be released. Relieved - please.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. Sorry doctor. Oh, and uh, save me a meat tart. Bye now. [Hodgins hangs up]
05x08 - The Foot in the Foreclosure Season 5 / Episode 8: - The Foot in the Foreclosure

Hank: Just because I'm carrying a few extra years, doesn't mean I can't take care of myself.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I know.
Hank: ...Smartass! I go first.
05x07 - The Dwarf in the Dirt Season 5 / Episode 7: - The Dwarf in the Dirt

Dr. Lance Sweets: [as he's about to interrogate a suspect] Would you like to accompany me?
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: To what end?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Double teamed by a psychologist *and* a chef. It'll be epic!
05x07 - The Dwarf in the Dirt Season 5 / Episode 7: - The Dwarf in the Dirt

Dr. Lance Sweets: Running away from the FBI is always suspect.
Todd Moore: I'm Canadian. My work Visa expired a week ago. I thought you were going to ship me back to Sudbury. Have you ever been to Sudbury? You would've run too!
05x07 - The Dwarf in the Dirt Season 5 / Episode 7: - The Dwarf in the Dirt

George Alano: You don't mind me saying, neither one of you looks like a cop. You look like a substitute teacher and fry cook.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: "A fry cook?"
Dr. Lance Sweets: We're not cops. We're professional interrogators.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Nobody's a fry cook!
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Indicating observation] The cops are in there.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Yes. In case you annoy us, and we want an arrest made! Any more cracks about fry cooks and I'll have them come in here to rough you up!
05x07 - The Dwarf in the Dirt Season 5 / Episode 7: - The Dwarf in the Dirt

Dr. Lance Sweets: Do I even have the *right* to publish my book? And make public what these two can't admit to themselves.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Don't ask me. I'm just a chef. [Sweets groans] I gave up the game *precisely* so I don't have to face that kind of dilema.
05x06 - The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken Season 5 / Episode 6: - The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Quietly] Everything okay there, Bones? I know when there's something wrong with you. Something's wrong, right? What can I do to help?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Angela and I had a fight.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Loudly] Nothing I can do to help!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You want to hear about it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Why not?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Because her and Angela are best friends. And Bones is gonna want me to take her side and agree that Angela was wrong. And then you know, the two of them are going to make up and then they're going to get mad at me. So no thank you.
05x06 - The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken Season 5 / Episode 6: - The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth grabs Bones's hand as she's leaving] Whoa. Whoa. Listen Bones, everything's going to be okay between you and Angela. All right? You two are like sisters.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm just... not used to not getting along with people.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Seriously? Because it seems like - [the table thumps]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thanks Booth.
05x06 - The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken Season 5 / Episode 6: - The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken

Angela Montenegro: Can I ask you something? What is wrong with everyone here?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Uh, well you had a falling out with your best friend over a pig. Your perspective is skewed. It's time to... reconnect with humanity. Gain a little perspective.
Angela Montenegro: All right, so... if I have sex, will you donate to save my pig?
Dr. Lance Sweets: ...That's not really the point I was trying to... We'll revisit the pig question.
05x06 - The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken Season 5 / Episode 6: - The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken

Dr. Lance Sweets: Sometimes you don't save the world, Dr. Brennan... Sometimes you just make your friends happy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Even when it's irrational? [Looking at Angela's pig photo] He is very... very cute. I mean it's almost like he's smiling.
05x06 - The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken Season 5 / Episode 6: - The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken

Dr. Lance Sweets: If you combine your don't get between women rule and you're like sisters observation, you know what I come up with? You dated sisters.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Smiles] They were identical twins. [Smile deepens. Laughs] Oh, and it was all wrong.
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Big smile, impressed] Oh! No. It's all right. It's all right.
05x05 - A Night at the Bones Museum Season 5 / Episode 5: - A Night at the Bones Museum

Dr. Lance Sweets: I'd consider it a personal favor, Dr. Brennan.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ouch. Personal favors are kind of like penalty shots. You kind of have to take them. Unlike dinner requests which you are totally open to decline.
05x04 - Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood Season 5 / Episode 4: - Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Speaking of Arastoo's fake accent] Is it crazy, or just weird. Weird I can deal with, but crazy... [Cam starts to leave]
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wait. What do you want me to do?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh, crazy is your department.
05x04 - Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood Season 5 / Episode 4: - Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You seriously believe all the hoo-ha?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's anthropology, so yes.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wrong ology. Keep your grubby anthro hands off my psych.
05x03 - The Plain in the Prodigy Season 5 / Episode 3: - The Plain in the Prodigy

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Sweets is playing with Levi's stones] What are you doing?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Playing the theme to Titanic.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Even not hearing it, I hate that song.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Not the way I play it.
05x02 - The Bond in the Boot Season 5 / Episode 2: - The Bond in the Boot

Harold Prescott: You're really going to trust something this important to a kid?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh me? Least I tuck myself in at night.
05x01 - Harbingers in the Fountain Season 5 / Episode 1: - Harbingers in the Fountain

Dr. Lance Sweets: Now, I think you and I both know Dr. Brennan's hyper rationality is really just a cover for her vulnerable and sensitive core.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh great. So we're talking about Bones's brains too here.
Dr. Lance Sweets: So if you breach those defenses and you don't really love her... Left you hard copies.
04x24 - The Beaver in the Otter Season 4 / Episode 24: - The Beaver in the Otter

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Happy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sperm.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Sweets] Sperm? Isn't this getting a little weird?
Dr. Lance Sweets: No. Keep going.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay. Egg.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I want a baby.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Horse.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wait. Whoa. Whoa. Wait a minute.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah. We can stop here.
04x24 - The Beaver in the Otter Season 4 / Episode 24: - The Beaver in the Otter

Dr. Lance Sweets: This is a well researched therapeutic technique, Agent Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh really? This happens all the time? Patients asking for sperm.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah - no. Well not this specifically. Which is why some discussion is in order.
04x24 - The Beaver in the Otter Season 4 / Episode 24: - The Beaver in the Otter

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought these sessions were meant for you to see how we interact as partners. How does this relate?
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're using Agent Booth to have a child. You don't see how that might relate to your partnership?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It has nothing to do with our work.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wow. Okay. Um. Let me just... organize my thoughts.
04x24 - The Beaver in the Otter Season 4 / Episode 24: - The Beaver in the Otter

Dr. Lance Sweets: How can you two not see what's going on?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sweets, what's the big deal? She was going to have a baby anyway, with Fisher. Fisher! Okay? What would you have done?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Again, what I would have done is irrelevant. You. *You* admitted to feeling anxiety.
04x24 - The Beaver in the Otter Season 4 / Episode 24: - The Beaver in the Otter

Dr. Lance Sweets: The point of the exercise is not to explain, but to respond. Okay? Children can do this.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because it's childish.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Can we just try it, please?

Previous: Dr. Camille Saroyan Next: Zack Addy
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