Type
Scripted
Premiered
Sep. 13, 2005
Status
Returning Series
Runtime
60 min.
Country
USA
Network
FOX TV Network
Genre

Characters: #6 of 16 (Full List)

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Dr. Lance Sweets Bones

Dr. Lance Sweets

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  Played by:
John Francis DaleyJohn Francis Daley
John Francis Daley began acting in the national and international tour of The Who's Tommy, playing young ...

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Dr. Lance Sweets Quotes

09x10 - The Mystery in the Meat Season 9 / Episode 10: - The Mystery in the Meat

Dr. Lance Sweets: You did a good thing, Booth. I know you and Angela haven't exactly been friends lately.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, wait a second; this wasn't about Angela. I just wanted Bones to have a bachelorette party.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: "Okay"? Don't say "okay" to me.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay. [pauses] That wasn't an "okay" okay; it was just an okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: See, you don't even know how to say just "okay".
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You said... All right, forget it.
09x04 - The Sense in the Sacrifice Season 9 / Episode 4: - The Sense in the Sacrifice

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wh-what does this all mean, Sweet? Spell it out.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, Dr. Brennan is Pelant's endgame. He's trying to replace you. Has he done anything to prevent the two of you from getting together that we don't know about. [Booth thinks about it] I'll take that as a "yes."
07x11 - The Family in the Feud Season 7 / Episode 11: - The Family in the Feud

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Didn't they teach you, you know, how not to be irritating at shrink camp?
Dr. Lance Sweets: It was a university.
07x06 - The Crack in The Code Season 7 / Episode 6: - The Crack in The Code

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Here's one that's in our price range. "Adoreable fixer-upper with natural landscaping."
Dr. Lance Sweets: No, no, no, no. That mean a small house with weeds. Bring your own bulldozer.
07x06 - The Crack in The Code Season 7 / Episode 6: - The Crack in The Code

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen Bones, this guy's really dangerous. I don't...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets already explained. I'm not going out in the field.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wait. Seriously? You were listening?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Given the demands of a growing fetus. I'll focus on the lab. *And* the Real Estate section.
07x06 - The Crack in The Code Season 7 / Episode 6: - The Crack in The Code

Dr. Lance Sweets: You did it. But you couldn't have done it. It's quantum indeterminancy.
07x05 - The Twist in The Twister Season 7 / Episode 5: - The Twist in The Twister

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [a tornado's approaching] You gonna cut me some slack for lying to Bones now?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah. No. You totally should've lied!
07x03 - The Prince in the Plastic Season 7 / Episode 3: - The Prince in the Plastic

Special Agent Seeley Booth: But it's crazy for him to carry a gun. That's all.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it's not.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Thank you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: At the very least, he could draw fire away from you, and get shot himself. Which would reduce the likelihood of *me* becoming a single parent.
Dr. Lance Sweets: We don't have to go over every eventuality.
07x03 - The Prince in the Plastic Season 7 / Episode 3: - The Prince in the Plastic

Dr. Lance Sweets: [as Sweets is about to take his final exam] Booth that's not fair. You don't want me to have a gun. It's gonna affect my performance.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's the point. You want to have my back. If something like this rattles you, I can't trust you... So ready?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Let's Rock-n-Roll.
07x03 - The Prince in the Plastic Season 7 / Episode 3: - The Prince in the Plastic

Dr. Lance Sweets: We can't keep having sex in my office, Daisy.
Daisy Wick: We can't?
Dr. Lance Sweets: No. No. [Daisy growls] This is the last time.
07x02 - The Hot Dog in the Competition Season 7 / Episode 2: - The Hot Dog in the Competition

Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh hey, congratulations. By the way, I hear you're having a girl.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How did you know?
Dr. Lance Sweets: I-I ran into Dr. Brennan this morning. She was leaving the doctor's office. Why is it a secret?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Obviously not. She's probably hired a sky writer to tell the world.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Is there something I should know?
06x23 - The Change in the Game Season 6 / Episode 23: - The Change in the Game

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh God! I hope this is not another case where Max, you know, killed someone.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I thought he promised not to do that anymore.
06x22 - The Hole in the Heart Season 6 / Episode 22: - The Hole in the Heart

Dr. Lance Sweets: Dr. Brennan has been known to retreat into hyper rationalism in times of emotional turmoil which could very well result in
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, even *I* want to slap you now.
06x22 - The Hole in the Heart Season 6 / Episode 22: - The Hole in the Heart

Special Agent Genny Shaw: Maybe you should stay behind me.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh of course. I don't measure my manhood the same way you do... That came out wrong.
06x22 - The Hole in the Heart Season 6 / Episode 22: - The Hole in the Heart

Dr. Lance Sweets: [Realizing Broadsky can see them] I hate this! I wish he'd shot us before we got this far... I'm saying everything wrong.
06x22 - The Hole in the Heart Season 6 / Episode 22: - The Hole in the Heart

Special Agent Seeley Booth: He wants to kill. I don't. You know what? I'll do what I have to do.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I hope so. Because with you gone, you know, we're next.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Anybody on your team is against his team so...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I should have shot in the back when I had the chance.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Professionally - I disagree. Personally - not so much.
06x22 - The Hole in the Heart Season 6 / Episode 22: - The Hole in the Heart

Dr. Camille Saroyan: He meant to kill you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm the one who gave Vincent the phone. Told him to pick it up.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You didn't know. I mean there's no use...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't blame myself, Sweets. I blame the guy who pulled the trigger.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You still have blood on your hands.
Angela Montenegro: ...Booth, she - she means literally.
06x21 - The Signs in the Silence Season 6 / Episode 21: - The Signs in the Silence

Dr. Lance Sweets: You want the girl to cooperate, we need to make sure she feels comfortable - and secure.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know what I'm doing.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Do you remember being in Foster Care?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I wasn't a potential murder suspect.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Nevertheless, you must remember how you were treated... How often did they even bother to learn your name? Every situation was way more frightening than it had to be because some supervisor was in a rush, right? I know I never wanted to cooperate. And I'm sure you didn't either.
06x21 - The Signs in the Silence Season 6 / Episode 21: - The Signs in the Silence

Dr. Lance Sweets: Remembering moments like those, can make a bad situation worse. If you think you can never be happy like that again... But if you see a chance - give yourself hope... You can allow yourself to believe those moments are real.
06x20 - The Pinocchio in the Planter Season 6 / Episode 20: - The Pinocchio in the Planter

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I see no reason why telling the truth would be considered aggressive.
Dr. Lance Sweets: It is when you do it without exception. I mean the small fiction that we call "white lies" play a crucial role in human interactions.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's the glue that holds us together.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How? A world without lies would be far more efficient.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: If-if no one had any feelings but people do.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do you lie to me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, Bones. I don't.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I would argue you're doing it right now.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, fine. I am. It's not a big deal.
06x20 - The Pinocchio in the Planter Season 6 / Episode 20: - The Pinocchio in the Planter

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is it possible for a lawyer to be entirely honest?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, a group dedicated to exploring the truth is likely to attract individuals who make a habit of lying on a daily basis.
06x20 - The Pinocchio in the Planter Season 6 / Episode 20: - The Pinocchio in the Planter

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Bones' car is parallel parking itself] What are you doing?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Whoa! Ghost driver!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How did you do that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's called "Intelligent Parking Assist". The car guides itself into the parking spot.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow! Look at that, huh? Does it solve murders?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Deadpan] Of course not.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Good. I like my job.
06x18 - The Truth in the Myth Season 6 / Episode 18: - The Truth in the Myth

Dr. Lance Sweets: Believers in superstitions like these, they turn to illogical explanations as a way of deriving control in a frightening and uncertain world.
Nadine Tweed: They're nuts.
Dr. Lance Sweets: That's a more succinct way of putting it.
06x18 - The Truth in the Myth Season 6 / Episode 18: - The Truth in the Myth

Dr. Lance Sweets: The FBI's convinced that the whole attack was faked. That there's no such thing the chupacabra.
Terry Bemis: There's ample literature that proves otherwise.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Is this your own self-published literature we're talking about?
Terry Bemis: It doesn't matter. With all the media frenzy over Coleman's death, those woods are like Grand Central Station. I'm sure the chupacabra has long since fled. It's like the Loch Ness fiasco all over again.
06x18 - The Truth in the Myth Season 6 / Episode 18: - The Truth in the Myth

Dr. Lance Sweets: It's my job to determine whether you're capable of murdering and mutilating a human being.
Randy Shepard: A guy would have to be crazy to do something like that, right?
Dr. Lance Sweets: What do you think?
Randy Shepard: Yeah, I guess so. I'm not crazy so I couldn't have done it.
06x17 - The Feet on the Beach Season 6 / Episode 17: - The Feet on the Beach

Dr. Lance Sweets: You forged Michelle's application and applied to Columbia?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Could you not say that as though I'd killed three people?
06x17 - The Feet on the Beach Season 6 / Episode 17: - The Feet on the Beach

Dr. Lance Sweets: I can't help you.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Why not? Some sort of professional code of ethics?
Dr. Lance Sweets: My own personal code of ethics. You should consider putting one together of your own.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: SHUT UP!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Excuse me?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You know you have never had to put someone else's well being above your own - not ever! Well, I am a mother! Okay? And if I have to get my hands dirty to get my child ahead - I will!
Dr. Lance Sweets: What kind of example are you setting for Michelle?
06x17 - The Feet on the Beach Season 6 / Episode 17: - The Feet on the Beach

Dr. Douglas Filmore: Confrontation's not a natural state for me. I'm... Canadian.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Canadian or afraid?
06x16 - The Blackout in the Blizzard Season 6 / Episode 16: - The Blackout in the Blizzard

Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh and here - for light. [Starts to pass down a menorah]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: DON'T!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: SWEETS!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Don't move!
Dr. Lance Sweets: What? It's a menorah.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Do you know what would've happened to your arm if the elevator would've started moving again?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Extensive trauma to your radius and ulna. Perhaps even spontaneous amputation.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I feel... a little sick.
06x16 - The Blackout in the Blizzard Season 6 / Episode 16: - The Blackout in the Blizzard

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Knell down. I'll show you. [Bones forces Booth to his knees]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, hello. Uh do-do you want to get on my shoulders.
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Sweets enters] Hey, Mrs. Ross sent some snacks. [Sweets notices the position they're in] Hello.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hello. Why is everyone saying "hello?"
Dr. Lance Sweets: Uh... I'm sorry. Should I - is this a bad -?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hello. She wants to sit on my shoulders.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Traditionally, people do that the other way around.

Previous: Dr. Camille Saroyan Next: Zack Addy
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