Mar. 08, 1993
30 min.
MTV TV Network

Top Contributors

Beavis and Butt-Head tv show photo

Beavis and Butt-Head

This is a world where parents are nearly non-existent and two bored young teens can get into a world of trouble. When not sleeping through classes or torturing their teachers at school, they amuse themselves by watching TV, trying to score, and annoying everyone in town. The show alternates between the misadventures of the two boys and music videos, which they critique in their opinionated way.

05x46 - Spanish Fly Season 5 / Episode 46: - Spanish Fly

Butt-head: [watching a music video] This chick has really small nostrils.
Beavis: Anyone's nostrils would look small to you, Butthead. You look like a cow.
05x46 - Spanish Fly Season 5 / Episode 46: - Spanish Fly

Butt-head: Beavis, you're gonna keep talking about loogies and I'm gonna be too busy swinging around my gigantic schlong.
05x46 - Spanish Fly Season 5 / Episode 46: - Spanish Fly

Beavis: [about Kato Kaelin] You know, he seems like a great guy.
Butt-head: Yeah. He's the kind of guy you would call up and say, 'Hey, you're a great guy. Why don't you come on over and stay a while?'
Beavis: Yeah. Except he kind of looks like the ass-end of a dolphin.
Butt-head: Uh, yeah he kind of does.
05x45 - Murder Site Season 5 / Episode 45: - Murder Site

Beavis: Whoa! Hey Butthead lets see what's on TV.
Butthead: Beavis I already told you I'm not letting you touch the remote anymore. Now give me that. Butt-Knocker
Beavis: No way and stop calling me Butt-Knocker!
Butthead: Give it here before I kick your butt-knockering ass.
Beavis: Stop calling me that, Butthead, stop it
Butthead: Butt knocker
Beavis: Shut up Butthead, shut up. Ahh. I'm gonna kill you Butthead. I swear to god I'm gonna kill you.
Butthead: Oh yeah. You and what other Buttknocker.
Butthead, Beavis: Buttknocker, Buttknocker, Buttknocker. I'm gonna kill you, you son of a bitch
Additional Voices: [police break open the door and arrest Beavis] Get him!
Beavis: Ahh, let me go. I'm gonna kill Butthead, I'm gonna kill him. ahhh
Butthead: [police carry Beavis away] That was cool
05x45 - Murder Site Season 5 / Episode 45: - Murder Site

Butthead: [At a police lineup pointing at Beavis] There he is officer. That's the Butt-knocker.
05x45 - Murder Site Season 5 / Episode 45: - Murder Site

Butthead: Turn on the light, Buttknocker I can't see anything!
Beavis: Don't call me Buttknocker!
Butthead: Beavis, you butt munch, turn on the light or I'll kick your ass!
Beavis: That's better. [turns on light]
05x44 - Patsies Season 5 / Episode 44: - Patsies

Buzzcut: For today's positive activity: Your gonna wash my Wagoneer.
P.A.T. Kid: Um, that's not what my dad said we were doing.
Buzzcut: Your dad's not here, boy. And for the tenth time: If you don't SHUT UP, I'm gonna positivley KILL YOU!
05x42 - Whiplash Season 5 / Episode 42: - Whiplash

Butt-head: [watching a Jerry Lee Lewis video] It's like all you need to do is, like, you know, kick the piano and do it with your cousin, and you'll be cool forever.
05x42 - Whiplash Season 5 / Episode 42: - Whiplash

Beavis: [Beavis and Butt-Head are watching a Korn music video] I think there's a problem with this video, as it is highly derivative of many popular bands within the genre, although when viewed on its own merit, it does have a decent groove.
Butt-head: Uh, Beavis?
Beavis: However, what it has in groove, it lacks in originality.
Butt-head: What's your problem, Beavis?
Beavis: One can't help but be reminded of such bands as Pearl Jam, White Zombie, Suicidal Tendencies, and other bands that bear the mantle of so-called alternative rock.
Butt-head: You're talking like a dumbass.
Beavis: One is even reminded of Laurie Anderson when she wore curlers. This video speaks less to the heart, and more to the sphincter.
Butt-head: Beavis! [slaps Beavis several times]
05x40 - Womyn Season 5 / Episode 40: - Womyn

Butt-head: Damnit, Beavis we've got a room full of chicks here who do it for free and all you can think about it how come there aren't more guys here?
Beavis: Well, yeah, how come?
Butt-head: Beavis, I'm a little disappointed in you.
05x38 - Tired Season 5 / Episode 38: - Tired

Gas Station Attendant: Hey, you punks! Quit jumping on my bells, or I'll give you something to jump about.
Butt-Head: Did he say "Quit jumping on my balls?"
05x38 - Tired Season 5 / Episode 38: - Tired

Todd Ianuzzi: You preschoolers are dead! You made me spill beer all over my jeans!
Butt-Head: Do you want me to kick Beavis' ass for you?
Todd Ianuzzi: That won't be necessary, man.
05x37 - Another Friday Night Season 5 / Episode 37: - Another Friday Night

Butt-head: [watching a Janet Jackson music video] Uh, "Hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of cokes, and a bunch of whores."
Beavis: Yeah! "And a side order of *Poop*!"
Butt-head: Uh, what did you say, Beavis?
Beavis: Um, y'know, I was just saying..."And a side order of *Poop*!"
Butt-head: [annoyed] Oh, boy. Beavis, you just sent my boner into the ground.
05x36 - Bang The Drum Slowly, Dumbass Season 5 / Episode 36: - Bang The Drum Slowly, Dumbass

Butt-head: Were not gonna join any men's club unless there's like, chicks in it.
05x36 - Bang The Drum Slowly, Dumbass Season 5 / Episode 36: - Bang The Drum Slowly, Dumbass

Mr. Van Driessen: Being in the captivity of nature without women is the perfect way to wrestle with your manhood.
Butt-head: Beavis wrestles with his manhood.
Beavis: Heh-heh... Yeah, and I usually win.
05x35 - Buttniks Season 5 / Episode 35: - Buttniks

Female Beatnik Poet: You touch me, I shiver/Your tongue, I quiver/My loins, my liver/I the taker, you the giver.
Butt-Head: Whoa. Huh-huh-huh. I've got something to give her.
05x35 - Buttniks Season 5 / Episode 35: - Buttniks

Beavis: [coming off a coffee buzz] Here I sit, broken-hearted, paid a quarter... Hey, got a quarter?
05x35 - Buttniks Season 5 / Episode 35: - Buttniks

Butt-Head: The phone is ringing and I cannot linger. So look out butt, here comes my finger!
05x35 - Buttniks Season 5 / Episode 35: - Buttniks

Beavis: I am Cornholio; I need T.P. for my bunghole. I want all your crappuccino!
Butt-Head: Do it, brother Beavis!
Beavis: Are you threatening me? You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole! My bunghole it goes bungo chungo rungo raaaaapapapapapapa! And one for you! Rrrrpagh!
05x31 - Screamers Season 5 / Episode 31: - Screamers

Tom Anderson: Hello police. This is Tom Anderson. I just had two hoodlums on my doorstep and started screaming like crazy. Hell I don't know if they're armed.
05x29 - Pregnant Pause Season 5 / Episode 29: - Pregnant Pause

Woman on TV: Nausea again. That horrible clawing, pounding, aching...
Beavis: [clutching stomach] Yeah, yeah me too.
Woman on TV: It could be morning sickness, but what about these cravings? My god, I better not be pregnant! Get me some nachos! [later] Oh, contractions, contractions! It's coming out! I can feel!
Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, when people get pregnant, they have to be chicks, right?
05x29 - Pregnant Pause Season 5 / Episode 29: - Pregnant Pause

Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, you know how those women got pregnant, right?
Butt-head: Oh, yeah.
Beavis: They had to, like, do it, right?
Butt-head: Yeah, they did it.
Beavis: Oh yeah. I knew that. I was just like, testing you, and stuff.
05x29 - Pregnant Pause Season 5 / Episode 29: - Pregnant Pause

Woman in store: Girl, I cannot believe you went and got yourself pregnant.
Beavis: You can get yourself pregnant? Ahh! Give me one of those! [snatches pregnancy test from woman and stuffs it under his shirt]
Butt-head: What's with you, Beavis? You look like you're pregnant.
05x29 - Pregnant Pause Season 5 / Episode 29: - Pregnant Pause

Woman on TV: [in labor] Uhh! Give me another epidural, you moron! Don't you tell me I only feel pressure, I feel pain! Pain, you little turds! Ahh!
Beavis: [clutching stomach] Ah! Contraptions! Contraptions! Ah! It's coming out, I can feel it! AH! [runs to the bathroom]
05x28 - I Dream Of Beavis Season 5 / Episode 28: - I Dream Of Beavis

Beavis: [Watching a Snoop Dogg video] I'm a G. I'm a straight G.
Butt-head: Yeah, you're a G for 'Gonad'. Uhuhuhuh.
Beavis: Shut up Butt-head. You might get smoked if you keep that up. Hehe. Watch your back homey. Hehe.
Butt-head: Uhuhuhuh.
Beavis: Hey Butthead. Did you know I'm from Compton? Hehe, yeah.
Butt-head: Damn it Beavis, shut up. You're not from Compton.
Beavis: No way, Butt-head! I'm serious. I was kickin' it on the street. Hehe. It was hard times. Hehe yeah. I used to drink gin and juice, it was cool.
Butt-head: Beavis, you're a white wussy from right here.
Beavis: No way Butt-head, you don't know, you weren't around then. Me and Snoop, we used to go to the Compton swap meet together. Ehehehe.
Butt-head: Beavis, you used to go to the flea market with your mom.
Beavis: No way Butt-head. I wear this shirt see, because these are my colors. Hehehe, yep. I'm a straight G.
Butt-head: Beavis, shut up.
Beavis: Yep, going down to the Compton swap meet with Snoop, you know, sometimes I used to kick it with Dre. Yeah. Hehe.
Butt-head: Beavis, shut up. You've never been to Compton, you're never gonna go to Compton, you're gonna be here for the rest of your life, you're stupid, you don't have any money, and you're never gonna score.
Beavis: Umm, oh yeah. Hehe.
05x26 - The History Of Women Season 5 / Episode 26: - The History Of Women

Substitute Teacher: [standing up on a chair with a short skirt] And now you can see the inherit beauty of the dewey decimal system
Butt-head: [walks towards her and looks up] I see the beauty
Beavis: Oh yeah!
05x26 - The History Of Women Season 5 / Episode 26: - The History Of Women

Mr. Van Driessen: OK, let's see, who hasn't gone yet? Beavis! Are you ready to inspire us with your report?
Butt-head: [awakens Beavis by slapping him] You're next, dillhole!
Mr. Van Driessen: Come on, Beavis! Stand up and tell us about the woman you admire the most!
Beavis: Um... oh yeah... OK.
Mr. Van Driessen: Go ahead! Reveal to us the identity of this profoundly influential female!
Beavis: Oh yeah! Um, uh... oh yeah. My mom!
Butt-head: You wuss.
Mr. Van Driessen: Butt-head, I hope your report is a little more wider in scope than Beavis's.
Butt-head: The woman I admire most, is... uh... Beavis's mom.
05x25 - What's The Deal? Season 5 / Episode 25: - What's The Deal?

Beavis: [watching the music video for "Bell Witch" by Mercyful Fate] Woah, check it out, Butt-Head, it's the turd burglar!
Butt-head: Uh, you mean the Hamburglar, dude.
Beavis: No, he's the turd burglar.
05x23 - Candy Sale Season 5 / Episode 23: - Candy Sale

Bradley Buzzcut: [storming in] Hey! Nobody does the ass-kicking but me around here!
Chocolate Bar Representative: Wait your turn, Jarhead!

Bradley Buzzcut: [face turns red] You just made a fatal mistake, Mr. Candy-ass! I hope you know some form of hand-to-hand combat!
Chocolate Bar Representative: Oh, you're going down, soldier-boy!

05x22 - Dream On Season 5 / Episode 22: - Dream On

Butt-head: [over radio] Uh, roger Baker 1.
Beavis: The suspect passed a stop sign. So I pulled him over and kicked his ass.

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