Type
Scripted
Premiered
Mar. 08, 1993
Status
Returning Series
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
MTV TV Network
Genre

Top Contributors

05x35 - Buttniks Season 5 / Episode 35: - Buttniks

Beavis: I am Cornholio; I need T.P. for my bunghole. I want all your crappuccino!
Butt-Head: Do it, brother Beavis!
Beavis: Are you threatening me? You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole! My bunghole it goes bungo chungo rungo raaaaapapapapapapa! And one for you! Rrrrpagh!
05x31 - Screamers Season 5 / Episode 31: - Screamers

Tom Anderson: Hello police. This is Tom Anderson. I just had two hoodlums on my doorstep and started screaming like crazy. Hell I don't know if they're armed.
05x29 - Pregnant Pause Season 5 / Episode 29: - Pregnant Pause

Woman on TV: Nausea again. That horrible clawing, pounding, aching...
Beavis: [clutching stomach] Yeah, yeah me too.
Woman on TV: It could be morning sickness, but what about these cravings? My god, I better not be pregnant! Get me some nachos! [later] Oh, contractions, contractions! It's coming out! I can feel!
Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, when people get pregnant, they have to be chicks, right?
05x29 - Pregnant Pause Season 5 / Episode 29: - Pregnant Pause

Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, you know how those women got pregnant, right?
Butt-head: Oh, yeah.
Beavis: They had to, like, do it, right?
Butt-head: Yeah, they did it.
Beavis: Oh yeah. I knew that. I was just like, testing you, and stuff.
05x29 - Pregnant Pause Season 5 / Episode 29: - Pregnant Pause

Woman in store: Girl, I cannot believe you went and got yourself pregnant.
Beavis: You can get yourself pregnant? Ahh! Give me one of those! [snatches pregnancy test from woman and stuffs it under his shirt]
Butt-head: What's with you, Beavis? You look like you're pregnant.
05x29 - Pregnant Pause Season 5 / Episode 29: - Pregnant Pause

Woman on TV: [in labor] Uhh! Give me another epidural, you moron! Don't you tell me I only feel pressure, I feel pain! Pain, you little turds! Ahh!
Beavis: [clutching stomach] Ah! Contraptions! Contraptions! Ah! It's coming out, I can feel it! AH! [runs to the bathroom]
05x28 - I Dream Of Beavis Season 5 / Episode 28: - I Dream Of Beavis

Beavis: [Watching a Snoop Dogg video] I'm a G. I'm a straight G.
Butt-head: Yeah, you're a G for 'Gonad'. Uhuhuhuh.
Beavis: Shut up Butt-head. You might get smoked if you keep that up. Hehe. Watch your back homey. Hehe.
Butt-head: Uhuhuhuh.
Beavis: Hey Butthead. Did you know I'm from Compton? Hehe, yeah.
Butt-head: Damn it Beavis, shut up. You're not from Compton.
Beavis: No way, Butt-head! I'm serious. I was kickin' it on the street. Hehe. It was hard times. Hehe yeah. I used to drink gin and juice, it was cool.
Butt-head: Beavis, you're a white wussy from right here.
Beavis: No way Butt-head, you don't know, you weren't around then. Me and Snoop, we used to go to the Compton swap meet together. Ehehehe.
Butt-head: Beavis, you used to go to the flea market with your mom.
Beavis: No way Butt-head. I wear this shirt see, because these are my colors. Hehehe, yep. I'm a straight G.
Butt-head: Beavis, shut up.
Beavis: Yep, going down to the Compton swap meet with Snoop, you know, sometimes I used to kick it with Dre. Yeah. Hehe.
Butt-head: Beavis, shut up. You've never been to Compton, you're never gonna go to Compton, you're gonna be here for the rest of your life, you're stupid, you don't have any money, and you're never gonna score.
Beavis: Umm, oh yeah. Hehe.
05x26 - The History Of Women Season 5 / Episode 26: - The History Of Women

Substitute Teacher: [standing up on a chair with a short skirt] And now you can see the inherit beauty of the dewey decimal system
Butt-head: [walks towards her and looks up] I see the beauty
Beavis: Oh yeah!
05x26 - The History Of Women Season 5 / Episode 26: - The History Of Women

Mr. Van Driessen: OK, let's see, who hasn't gone yet? Beavis! Are you ready to inspire us with your report?
Butt-head: [awakens Beavis by slapping him] You're next, dillhole!
Mr. Van Driessen: Come on, Beavis! Stand up and tell us about the woman you admire the most!
Beavis: Um... oh yeah... OK.
Mr. Van Driessen: Go ahead! Reveal to us the identity of this profoundly influential female!
Beavis: Oh yeah! Um, uh... oh yeah. My mom!
Butt-head: You wuss.
Mr. Van Driessen: Butt-head, I hope your report is a little more wider in scope than Beavis's.
Butt-head: The woman I admire most, is... uh... Beavis's mom.
05x25 - What's The Deal? Season 5 / Episode 25: - What's The Deal?

Beavis: [watching the music video for "Bell Witch" by Mercyful Fate] Woah, check it out, Butt-Head, it's the turd burglar!
Butt-head: Uh, you mean the Hamburglar, dude.
Beavis: No, he's the turd burglar.
05x23 - Candy Sale Season 5 / Episode 23: - Candy Sale

Bradley Buzzcut: [storming in] Hey! Nobody does the ass-kicking but me around here!
Chocolate Bar Representative: Wait your turn, Jarhead!


Bradley Buzzcut: [face turns red] You just made a fatal mistake, Mr. Candy-ass! I hope you know some form of hand-to-hand combat!
Chocolate Bar Representative: Oh, you're going down, soldier-boy!

05x22 - Dream On Season 5 / Episode 22: - Dream On

Butt-head: [over radio] Uh, roger Baker 1.
Beavis: The suspect passed a stop sign. So I pulled him over and kicked his ass.

05x22 - Dream On Season 5 / Episode 22: - Dream On

Butt-head: [mocking The Brady Bunch theme] Here's a story, of a guy named Butt-Head, he was horny for three very lovely girls.
Beavis: Then along came, a guy named Beavis, he was horny too.
05x22 - Dream On Season 5 / Episode 22: - Dream On

Beavis: [after both waking up] Hey Butt-head, I dreamt we were in school, do you think that counts for attendance?
Butt-head: I guess so, was I there?
Beavis: Yeah.
Butt-head: Cool. [both fall back asleep]
05x21 - Lightning Strikes Season 5 / Episode 21: - Lightning Strikes

Announcer: You're watching PBS.
Butt-head: [laughs] He said BS.
Beavis: Yeah, um... but first, he said "pee."
05x21 - Lightning Strikes Season 5 / Episode 21: - Lightning Strikes

Butt-head: [watching a music video called Tales From the Hard Side] Tales From the Hard Side? Is that like... stories about stiffies?
Beavis: Yeah. It's like, "Once upon a time, I had a stiffy, and I lived happily ever after. And that's my tale from the hard side. Thank you, I'm Beavis. Good night."
Butt-head: If I had a story for every stiffy I ever had, I'd have, uh... several stories.
Beavis: Yeah! Yeah, me too!
05x19 - Wet Behind The Rears Season 5 / Episode 19: - Wet Behind The Rears

Butt-head: Yeah, are you like one of those gym teachers that likes to sit around and watch dudes in the shower?
Bradley Buzzcut: Damnit boy, you have pushed me too far! There's no getting out of it this time, I'm gonna tear your...
05x18 - Party Season 5 / Episode 18: - Party

Butt-head: [Planning the party favors]... and now, all we need is some hard stuff.
Beavis: Heh heh, I got some hard stuff.
Butt-head: NO, not that, I mean booze, uno, Liquor.
05x18 - Party Season 5 / Episode 18: - Party

Stewart's Friend: You guys will have to come to our loaves & fishes cook-out next week, deal?
Butt-head: Uh, no.
Beavis: Yeah. I'll pinch a loaf for you though.
05x17 - Top O' The Mountain Season 5 / Episode 17: - Top O' The Mountain

Butt-head: Beavis, I have seen the top of the mountain. And it is good.
05x15 - Tainted Meat Season 5 / Episode 15: - Tainted Meat

Butt-head: Damnit Beavis, put that away. You're not supposed to have your penis out when you're cooking.
05x15 - Tainted Meat Season 5 / Episode 15: - Tainted Meat

Customer: OK, I want two cheeseburgers, two fries, a coke, and an apple pie.
Butt-head: [hesitates] Uhhhh... what?
Customer: I said, two cheeseburgers, two fries, a coke and an apple pie.
Butt-head: Uhhh, could you order like, less stuff?
05x15 - Tainted Meat Season 5 / Episode 15: - Tainted Meat

Butt-head: Face it Beavis, you have a problem with your penis. Maybe you should wash it or something.
Beavis: With water? No way, then it'll get all wet.
Butt-head: Life is hard Beavis.
05x14 - Beaverly Buttbillies Season 5 / Episode 14: - Beaverly Buttbillies

Butt-head: Hey, Beavis. We're in a hole. Huh-huh.


Beavis: Hey, Butt-head. I just felt something.
Butt-head: [thinking he meant a boner] Uh, okay.
Beavis: No, Butt-head. I felt something with my shovel.


Beavis: Oil, Butt-head. It's oil. We've struck oil.
Butt-head: Cool. Bubblin' crude.
Beavis: Texas tea.
Butt-head: Oil smells like turds.
Beavis: Yeah. That's probably why it's so expensive.
05x14 - Beaverly Buttbillies Season 5 / Episode 14: - Beaverly Buttbillies

Workman #1: Looks like we found the sewage leak.
Workman #2: Aw, man. And I just showered the day before yesterday.
05x12 - Plastic Surgin' Season 5 / Episode 12: - Plastic Surgin'

Beavis: [about guitarist Alex Lifeson] The guitarist is pretty cool.
Butt-head: Yeah, if you happen to be a wuss.
05x11 - Career Day Season 5 / Episode 11: - Career Day

Beavis: Whoa, that's that Brenda bitch from Beverly Hills 9-0-2-3-5-8-7-8-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-82-65...


Beavis: Aaaa! 2-1-0. Heh-heh-heh.
05x08 - Temporary Insanity Season 5 / Episode 8: - Temporary Insanity

Butt-head: I'm going to get a map, find Butt Town and go there. Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.
Beavis: Hey Butt-Head, can I go to Butt-Town? Mmm-heh-heh-heh. Mmm-heh-heh-heh.
Butt-head: No way Beavis. Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.
05x07 - Walkathon Season 5 / Episode 7: - Walkathon

Butt-head: [Daria has just cheated Butt-Head out of some money] Dude, we totally ripped her off.
05x07 - Walkathon Season 5 / Episode 7: - Walkathon

Reverend Cobb: [waiting on the boys to finish a walk-a-thon] Now, do you boys have the $10,000 you owe me?
Butt-head: [to Beavis] What? Beavis, I thought we ripped Daria off.


Butt-head: You're supposed to give us money.
Reverend Cobb: Now, son, when you play the Christian Businessmen's Association for a fool, you play the Lord like a fool...


Butt-head: Uhhh, could you like... shut up.

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