Type
Scripted
Premiered
Oct. 11, 2006
Status
Completed/Ended
Runtime
30 min.
Country
USA
Network
NBC TV Network
Genre

Top Contributors

30 Rock tv show photo

30 Rock

Liz Lemon, played by Saturday Night Live's Tina Fey, is the head writer of the fictional TV show, 'The Girlie Show.' When her old boss dies and a new boss comes in, Liz must try to run a successful TV show without losing her mind.

04x04 - Audition Day Season 4 / Episode 4: - Audition Day

Jack Donaghy: [At the subway] Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Jack Donaghy, and I have bedbugs. I'm not a drug addict, I'm a high-raking executive at the General Electric corporation, and I'm just getting my medicine. So if anyone can tell me how to get to the four train, I would really appreciate it.
04x04 - Audition Day Season 4 / Episode 4: - Audition Day

Liz Lemon: The Hornberger System shall prevail.
Jenna Maroney: That's what you think, but the Hornberger System shall devail! Is that the opposite of prevail?
04x04 - Audition Day Season 4 / Episode 4: - Audition Day

Jack Donaghy: Lemon, we're not just hiring an actor, we're hiring a coworker, a human being, and I say we hire the one who lives by the code of the robot: Care, Love, Live.
04x03 - Stone Mountain Season 4 / Episode 3: - Stone Mountain

Jenna Maroney: [Jenna has followed the boys into the mensroom] Oh wow, they painted the ceiling in here!
04x03 - Stone Mountain Season 4 / Episode 3: - Stone Mountain

Jack Donaghy: Good God Lemon, your breathe... When did you find time to eat a diaper that you found on the beach?
04x03 - Stone Mountain Season 4 / Episode 3: - Stone Mountain

Jack Donaghy: We're going to find the perfect person for the show down here [in Georgia] . Someone who represents the *Real America*.
Liz Lemon: Jack, for the 80th time, no part of America is more American than any other part.
Jack Donaghy: You are wrong. Small towns are where you see the kindness and goodness and courage of everyday Americans. The folks who are teaching our kids, running our prisons, growing our cigarettes. People who are still living by core American values.
Liz Lemon: There are plenty of core American values in New York. But there are not restaurants called "Fatty Fat Sandwich Ranch." Turn here! Turn here!
04x03 - Stone Mountain Season 4 / Episode 3: - Stone Mountain

Liz Lemon: I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
Jack Donaghy: How surprising that your world view is food-based.
04x03 - Stone Mountain Season 4 / Episode 3: - Stone Mountain

Jenna Maroney: Hey Frank! Do you know Sacha, Michael, and gay Michael?
Sacha: Can I ask you a question?... Whhhhyyyy?
Frank Rossitano: God. it's bad enough having Jenna hang out here. Now she's bringing her friends? How can a dude in a midriff top dominate me like that?
04x03 - Stone Mountain Season 4 / Episode 3: - Stone Mountain

Frank Rossitano: Hey! Actor friend! So - what are we all doing together for Halloween?
Jenna Maroney: Oh. Well, Sacha and the Michaels usually have a party.
Frank Rossitano: Oh. 'Cause, uh Lutz and Tuf and I always have a party. Hang on! What if? We combined parties and threw one big party in the studio? Is that crazy?
Jenna Maroney: No! Let's do that! Yes! That gesture! I like people who do that!
Sacha: A party? With them?
Jenna Maroney: Oh, don't look at me like I'm a football game. I need those guys. i've been using them to make sure I'm taken care of when the new actor gets here.
Sacha: Girl, I don't even have the energy to tell you what's happening here. So read my face.
Jenna Maroney: Ohhh! Oh my God! They're using me to get invited to gay Halloween so they can meet hot girls!
04x02 - Into the Crevasse Season 4 / Episode 2: - Into the Crevasse

Liz Lemon: [Looking at her book "Dealbreakers" in a bookstore window, to an employee] Hey, I wrote that. I'm Liz Lemon. [Employee opens book in front of Liz; she reads from it] "If your boyfriend is over thirty and wears a nametag to work, that's a dealbreaker." [Liz sees the employee's nametag, it reads Mike] But not you, Mike. [Mike takes cutout of Liz] What are you doing, Mike? [Mike starts beating up cutout] Oh! You know what, I'm going to beat up your cutout! Oh, wait, you don't have one! [Mike tears head off cutout and pastes it on window] Ow! Blammo! Another successful interaction with a man!
04x02 - Into the Crevasse Season 4 / Episode 2: - Into the Crevasse

Devon Banks: You know, revenge is a dish best served cold, Jack. Like sashimi, or pizza.
Jack Donaghy: You prefer cold pizza?
Devon Banks: The morning after? It's the best.
Jack Donaghy: Better than hot pizza? That's insane.
Devon Banks: You don't tell me what kind of pizza to like!
04x02 - Into the Crevasse Season 4 / Episode 2: - Into the Crevasse

Tracy Jordan: A book hasn't given me this much trouble since Waldo went to that barber pole factory.
04x02 - Into the Crevasse Season 4 / Episode 2: - Into the Crevasse

Jack Donaghy: You'd ruin an entire company just to get to me? Think of the employees, the pensions, the kittens we use to test the strength of our microwaves.
04x02 - Into the Crevasse Season 4 / Episode 2: - Into the Crevasse

Jenna Maroney: I don't know if you know this, but werewolves only come out at night.
Liz Lemon: Yes, I learned that from the Thriller video.
Tracy Jordan: Too soon.
04x02 - Into the Crevasse Season 4 / Episode 2: - Into the Crevasse

Liz Lemon: Tracy and Jenna are acting like children.
Pete Hornberger: And like children, they can't be reasoned with. You just put a little whiskey in their juice bottle and wait for sleep to save you.
Liz Lemon: That won't work. Jenna is immune to whiskey, and Tracy is afraid of juice.
04x02 - Into the Crevasse Season 4 / Episode 2: - Into the Crevasse

Jack Donaghy: The automotive company was ran by white morons who were out of touch with America. We're G.E., dammit. We're making a giant, shoddy microwave.
04x02 - Into the Crevasse Season 4 / Episode 2: - Into the Crevasse

Jack Donaghy: Lemon, let me tell you a little story. It was 1994, and I was ice climbing when I fell into a crevasse and hurt my leg. There was only one way out, so fighting every natural instinct I have, I did the thing I hated the most. I climbed down into the darkness. And when I came back to camp, I went to the person who cut my line and said, "Connie Chung, you saved my life."
04x02 - Into the Crevasse Season 4 / Episode 2: - Into the Crevasse

Tracy Jordan: Oh yeah, there's a garbage bag in the hall with a reef shark in it. Just put him in the tub with a reef.
04x01 - Season 4 Season 4 / Episode 1: - Season 4

Jack: We'll trick those race card lovin' wide-loads into watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet.
Liz Lemon: You just don't like anybody, do you.
04x01 - Season 4 Season 4 / Episode 1: - Season 4

Jenna Maroney: Did you hear what happened? I am so upset.
Liz Lemon: Oh, no. Okay, let me explain...
Jenna Maroney: I came in here to shoot these tennis promos, and they had blue gels on the lights. You know that makes my teeth look see-through. You weren't here to do your job, Liz.
Liz Lemon: Okay, well, Josh quit.
Jenna Maroney: Who? Jack's counting on Country Jenna to save the show, but I just want to understand what it is that's distracting you from the one thing you've been told to do.
Liz Lemon: Really? You wanna know what I've been doing?
Jenna Maroney: Yes, Liz. Enlighten me.
Liz Lemon: Jack is hiring a new cast member.
Jenna Maroney: [Screaming to the top of her lungs] If it is a blonde woman, I will kill myself!
04x01 - Season 4 Season 4 / Episode 1: - Season 4

Jenna Maroney: [Jenna has just joined the protest] Jenna Maroney is great! No new castmember!
Tracy Jordan: New what? If it's a blonde woman, I'ma kill myself!
04x01 - Season 4 Season 4 / Episode 1: - Season 4

Kenneth Parcell: Bonus means extra! I know that from game shows!
04x01 - Season 4 Season 4 / Episode 1: - Season 4

Liz Lemon: No one can know about this.
Cerie: Know about what?
Liz Lemon: Pete's stealing money!
Pete Hornberger: Liz's uterus fell out!
Cerie: Oh. I think I already knew that.
03x22 - Kidney Now! Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now!

Milton Green: A guy crying about a chicken and a baby? I thought this was a comedy show.
03x22 - Kidney Now! Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now!

Tracy Jordan: I grew up with that guy, he was the baddest gangster in my class. We called him Mean Steve. But his real name was Stephen Killer.
03x22 - Kidney Now! Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now!

Jack Donaghy: Ok, lets cut to the chase. MJ, you owe me. Who got you out of a 20 year exclusive performance contract at Seaworld? [Mary J. Blige rolls her eyes in defeat] Aiken, your cousin Kenneth Parcell already promised me you'd do this. [Clay Aiken rolls his eyes in disgust] And Elvis, or should I say Decland McManus, international art thief?
Elvis Costello: Ok Jack Donaghy, you tumbled me. We'll do it.
03x22 - Kidney Now! Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now!

Liz Lemon: We sure had quite a year. [slaps Jack on the back]
Jack Donaghy: What are you talking about? It's May.
03x22 - Kidney Now! Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now!

Jenna Maroney: Everyone shout out words that describe my beauty.
Pete Hornberger: Fading.
Cerie: '80s.
Richard F. Esposito: 1880s.
03x22 - Kidney Now! Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now!

Kenneth Parcell: Science is my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testement.
03x21 - Mama Mia Season 3 / Episode 21: - Mama Mia

Liz Lemon: Look, Jack, I don't have a lot of personal life experience, but if I have learned anything from my Sims family... when a child doesn't see his father enough, he starts to jump up and down, and then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
Jack Donaghy: Why don't I have any other friends?

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