Selma Maxwell: [making soup at the stove, to son Richie] This won't take long. ...little salt, a little peppah-deppah. Awww. Who else knows how much you love peppah-deppah? No one. No *one*! [singing] There is a lay-dee / Who likes lovely bay-zhil / And this lovely basil lady / Came to town
[after bumping into each other]
Richie: Well, well, well. What the hell are you doing here?
Evan: What the hell you think I'm doing here?
Richie: Hey, that was quite a joke, really. Really good going!
Evan: Well, I sure as hell didn't think you'd give some bum the keys to your house so you can scare the shit out of your mother!
Richie: You know I could have your license revoked for a stunt like that.
Evan: Well, I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't offered me *three* percent!
Richie: Three percent happened to be a very generous offer! I didn't have to offer you anything!
Evan: They were my quarters!
Richie: It was my machine!
Evan: Don't you touch me!
Richie: I didn't touch you!
Evan: And don't point that finger--!
Richie: I'll point it!
Evan: I'll point too!
Richie: What are you doing tonight?
Evan: I don't know. Nothing. How about you?
Richie: I don't know. Roberta's out of town. I'll probably just go home and blow myself.
[Talking about Richie]
Evan: You know what he's doing now? He's probably in the back of that limo, giving himself a blow job.
Evan: Oh, yeah. He can blow himself. He's double-jointed.
Joan: [in disgust] Men!
Danny Pepper: People seem to think they can do anything they want so long as there's an 'I'm sorry.' Then everything's hunky-dory.
Evan: I didn't say it was honky-dory.
Danny Pepper: It's not honky-dory, it's hunky-dory.
Evan: I thought I said hunky.
Danny Pepper: No you said honky.
Evan: Okay, okay, I'm sorry,
Danny Pepper: See? Again!
Mr. Bell: I'll tell you another thing; you're not a good sole designer.
Richie: Hey! I'm a great sole designer. Great!
Mr. Bell: No, you're not.
Richie: That's your opinion.
Mr. Bell: That's right.
Richie: Well, we disagree.
Mr. Bell: Yes, we do.
Richie: Well, you take care of yourself.
Mr. Bell: I intend to.
Richie: I'm sure you do.
Mr. Bell: Why wouldn't I?
Richie: No reason.
Mr. Bell: So... why bring it up?
Richie: Just trying to be nice.
Mr. Bell: [sarcastically] Oh, my mistake.
Richie: I'd say so.
Studio Executive: Hey, they got their bad element just like anybody else. Somebody's going to steal a canoe at some point.