Kickin It Old Skool Quotes
Darnell Jackson: Uh, what percentage in chance does my friend, Aki, have of sleeping with you?
Yun: Zero percent.
Darnell Jackson: One more question, please. What if he's a professional break-dancer?
Yun: Two percent.
Aki: Mathematically that's an infinity percent increase.
Justin Schumacher: Yeah! That's my Aki! Homeboy's forever?
Aki: Homeboy's forever.
Darnell Jackson: Homeboy's forever.
Hector: Homeboy's forever.
Darnell Jackson, Aki, Justin Schumacher, Hector: Funky Fresh Boyz!
Yun: If that what you guys are going to call yourselves, it goes back down to one percent.
Justin Schumacher: Darth Maul? Jar Jar Binks? Who are these gay birds? They're not from Star Wars.
Jennifer: What I stand to lose? Gag me with a big ego and a little d...
Kip: Don't go there.
Jennifer: You know, Justin might be a little kid, Kip... but he's got more balls than you'll ever have.
Kip: What, like three?
Darnell Jackson: [to Jen] You and your boyfriend can take that good bitch, bad bitch routine and and stick it right up your snutzy.
Crazy Homeless Man: Snutzy?
Jennifer: Okay. Terrified to ask what my snutzy is.
Crazy Homeless Man: I'll tell ya.
Jennifer: Try not to hate me.
Justin Schumacher: I hate you more than Garfield hates Mondays.
Jennifer: I thought Garfield hated lasagna.
Justin Schumacher: Garfield loves lasagna!
Darnell Jackson: Man, I miss you dog. I miss you. You my nigga.
Justin Schumacher: [Looking horrified] Darnell, that's a bad word.
Darnell Jackson: Bitch, you been sleeping too long. After N.W.A. came out everybody's been saying it.
Justin Schumacher: What was N.W.A.?
Darnell Jackson: Niggaz with Atti...
Justin Schumacher: [Looking more horrified]
Darnell Jackson: Look, don't worry about it. It's my buddy, my friend.
Justin Schumacher: I'm sorry Darnell, I was in a coma.
Darnell Jackson: Yeah, you were.
Justin Schumacher: You're a good nigger. You're the best nigger I ever had.
Kip: Taste some of this. Gives you wings, buddy.
Justin Schumacher: [gulps down Red Bull] Whoa. It tastes like a laser.
Cole: You and me in the parking lot, mano a mano.
Justin Schumacher: You had mono? Well, I was in a coma.
Darnell Jackson: I can't dance like that no more. I'm a grown-ass man!
Darnell Jackson: For a hundred grand? You better bust a move, drop it like its hot. Now, I don't want to see your black ass again until you got a whole lot of money or a whole lot of diapers.
Darnell Jackson: Oh, hell no. You don't close my door like that!
Roxanne Jackson: [opens door] What you say, nigga?
Darnell Jackson: Uh, nothin'. I'm your nigga.
Roxanne Jackson: Now get to steppin'.
[slaps him hard across the face]
Roxanne Jackson: Bitch-slapped.
Aki: FUCK YOU MR. FERGUSON! I'm kidding, I still need this job.
Darnell Jackson: They're shooting a TV show, I heard of this. It's like American Idol for dancing.
Justin Schumacher: America what?
Darnell Jackson: Star Search, it's like Star Search for dancing.
Darnell Jackson: Aki, what the hell are you doing? Come on, man. The robot's suppose to be your thing. You look like C-3PO with R2-D2 stuck up his ass.
Dr. Fry: I understand how difficult it is to make payments of this magnitude. Shit, I'm still paying for that Ferrari.
Aki: [Darnell's invention of the Jewbix cube, a Jewish version of the Rubik's cube. Aki is reading off the pictures on the cube] A Jewish star, a money sign, a menorah, and a d... Dude you put a dick on the Jewbix cube?
[Hector and Aki laugh]
Darnell Jackson: [mad at Aki and Hector for laughing] It's a circumcised penis. The only other real Jewish thing I could think of.
Aki: Booty twaps.