Jane Austen's Mafia! Quotes
Pepper Gianini: All right all right! But we didn't actually SLEEP!
[to his girlfriend, discovered sleeping with his brother]
Anthony Cortino: How could you do this? A total stranger I could understand. You and another woman, maybe. Me, you and another woman, definitely! But my own brother?
Diane: I'm always going to be That Protestant Chick Who Never Killed Anybody!
Anthony Cortino: If you prick a murderer, does he not leave a blood trail all the way back to his Rockingham estate?
Diane: Ooh, Italian food!
Anthony Cortino: Some would argue that the Mafia is a bad thing, that it uses its power to undermine law and order, to promote the very lowest forms of human behavior. Of course, that's all true, but in the end, maybe it's worth it.
Giant hitman: Say hello to my little friend.
[opens his coat to reveal a midget with a gun]
Anthony Cortino: Gianini... any Sicilian in you?
Pepper Gianini: Not since last night.
Anthony Cortino: Diane, would you excuse us?
Diane: Oh, yeah, sure. If you need me, I'll be up on the bidet.
Anthony Cortino: You lost a lot of blood but we found most of it.
Vincenzo Cortino: [saying a toast] Marriage is like a piece of cheese.
Anthony Cortino: Criminals are people, too!
Anthony Cortino: [home from the war] I got you a souvenir.
Dominick Clamato: Oh, wow! A North Korean!
Anthony Cortino: I'm not my father, Diane, just like you're not your father. If we were our fathers, what we did last night would only be legal in Arkansas.
[Emerges soaking wet from a bathroom stall]
Anthony Cortino: El Nino.