Get Over It
Striker: I don't even know what you're doing here Landers, but if some guy dazzled his way into my ex-girlfriends fancy I'd be doing the same thing... only I'd have a bigger part.
Berke Landers: [nonchalant] You dropped your sword.
Peter Wong: [Angry- aimed at Striker] I'll kill you, you ass-kissing pretentious swing-town twit.
Berke Landers: You're my parents, for God's sake, stop trusting me.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: What direction do you think "left" is? See, because if you go with your instinct and reverse it, I think we have something happening. How difficult is this? I'm so alone, I think.
Jessica: I am trying. You are intimidating me.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Well you are FRIGHTENING me. You understand that? How do you get dressed in the morning? Do you have people come in, or do you just lie in state?
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Oh. Fun hair clip.
Felix Woods: Hey grabby hands, step away from the sister.
Berke: [reading the school play] Captain of the fairy band, Helena is close at hand. I'm understanding about every word of this shit.
Kelly: [Kelly and Basin enters] Berke.
Kelly: What happened to your face?
Berke: A long story.
Kelly: A Midsummer Night's Dream? What, are you gonna try out for the show?
Berke: Kinda, sor - Maybe.
Kelly: Well, you know, if you're serious about it, I'm kinda good at that stuff.
Basin: Have you heard her songs? [patting Kelly's shoulder] She's only like the next Josie Mitchell.
Kelly: [putting her hand on Basin's shoulder] Joni Mitchell.
Berke: I-I could actually use some help. So, tommorow, coffee?
Kelly: Okay. Coffee would be great.
Berke: Bye. [Kelly and Basin leaves]
Basin: [mocking Kelly's words] If you're serious, I'm kinda good at that stuff.
Kelly: Shut up.
Basin: [mocking Kelly's words] Shut up! [pats Kelly]
Kelly: [gasps] What?
Basin: Did you see Dennis staring at me again?
Kelly: Oh, I know, totally.
Basin: I told you.
Berke Landers: For the first time in my life, I was in love. And I knew it would last forever... Boy was I a dumb ass.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: I remember what the wonderful Bobby De Niro said to me. Well, not to me, I read it in an article.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Mr. Landers, how nice of you to join us. And thanks for not showering. What a super instinct.
[Berke and Felix talking on phone]
Berke: So whatcha doin?
Felix: Nothing, just watching my aunt's dog screw the rubber tree.
Berke: What, is that some kind of expression?
Felix: No, we're babysitting my aunt's dog Chester, and we're thinking it's some... kind of... hormonal imbalance...? [tilts head]
Felix Woods: Just keep an eye on her man. 'Cause some of those theatre guys, they have a reputation of being kinda...
Dennis Wallace: Gay?
Felix Woods: See, now that's what they want you to think.
Berke Landers: O fair Hermia, thou art so incredibly hot and stuff.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Bill Shakespeare was a wonderful poet. But Burt Bacharach he ain't.
Basin: My dance partner? SHIT.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: That's enough out of your MUCK MOUTH.
Kelly: Are you crying?
Berke Landers: No, you're squeezing my puncture wound.
Felix Woods: You know that song "Pocketful of Dreams"?
Band Member: Down here we call it "Pocketful of Ass".
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: HI. I'm Dr. Desmond Forest Oates fine arts chair... and all that hoopla.
Jessica: Sir, your wife called. She won't be able to make it to the show tonight.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Did she say why?
Jessica: It was hard to understand through all the slurring.
Berke Landers: [singing] Kiss a little longer, stay close a little longer...
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: PROJECTION MR. BERKE... projection.
Berke Landers: Kiss a little longer, stay close a little longer...
Kelly: Hold tight a little longer... longer with Big Red.
Berke Landers: That Big Red freshness lasts right through it.
Kelly and Basin: Your fresh breath goes on and on...
Everyone: While you chew it. So say goodbye a little longer, make it last a little longer...
Berke Landers: Give your breath long-lasting freshness... WITH BIG RED.
[Cheers from the audience]