Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Quotes
Mike Teavee: Are they real people?
Willy Wonka: Of course they're real people. They're Oompa Loompas.
Mr. Salt: Oompa Loompas?
Willy Wonka: Imported. Direct from Loompaland.
Mr. Teavee: There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: What?
Mr. Teavee: Mr. Wonka, I teach high school geography, and I'm here to tell you-
Willy Wonka: Well, then, you'll know all about it and, oh, what a terrible country it is.
Willy Wonka: [to Mike Teavee] Mumbler! Seriously, I cannot understand a single word you're saying!
Charlie Bucket: Are the Oompa Loompas really joking, grandpa?
Grandpa Joe: Of course they're joking. That boy will be fine.
Mike Teavee: You don't understand *anything* about science! First off, there's a difference between waves and particles! DUH! Second, the amount of power it would take to convert energy into matter would be like nine atomic bombs!
Willy Wonka: MUMBLER! Seriously, I can't understand a word you're saying!
Mrs. Gloop: [while leaving the chocolate factory. Augustus is covered in chocolate] Augustus, please don't eat your fingers!
Augustus Gloop: [licks his fingers] But I taste so good!
Willy Wonka: [getting his shoes shined by Charlie, his face hidden behind a newspaper] Pity about that chocolate fellow, Wendle, er, Walter...
Charlie Bucket: Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka: That's the one. Says here in the papers his new candies aren't selling very well. But, I suppose maybe he's just a rotten egg who deserves it.
Charlie Bucket: Yep.
Willy Wonka: Oh really? You ever met him?
Charlie Bucket: I did. I thought he was great at first, but then he didn't turn out so nice. He also has a funny haircut.
Willy Wonka: [coming out from behind the newspaper] I do not!
Charlie Bucket: Why are you here?
Willy Wonka: I don't feel so hot. What makes you feel better when you feel terrible?
Charlie Bucket: My family.
Willy Wonka: Ew!
Charlie Bucket: What do you have against my family?
Willy Wonka: It's not just *your* family, it's the whole idea of... [balks] You know, they're always telling you what to do, what not to do and it's not conducive to a creative atmosphere!
Charlie Bucket: Usually they're just trying to protect you, because they love you. [Willy looks away] If you don't believe me you should ask.
Willy Wonka: Ask who? My father? Ha! No way. At least not by myself...
Charlie Bucket: You want me to go with you?
Willy Wonka: Hey! Hey, what a great idea! Yeah! [jumps up] And you know what? I brought transporta-
[bangs into the glass elevator and falls down]
Willy Wonka: I have to be more careful where I park this thing.
Dr. Wonka: Do you have an appointment?
Charlie Bucket: No, but he's overdue.
Veruca Salt: I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir.
[does a curtsy]
Willy Wonka: I always thought a verruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. [laughs]
Willy Wonka: I've been longing to press that button for years. Well, here we go! Up and out!
Grandpa Joe: But do you really mean...?
Willy Wonka: Yeah, I do!
Grandpa Joe: But it's made of glass! It'll smash into a million pieces!
Willy Wonka: [looking at silver hair] I realized in that moment, "I must find a heir".
Willy Wonka: The waterfall is most important! Mixes the chocolate, churns it up, makes it light and frothy. By the way, no other factory in the world m-
Veruca Salt: You already said that.
Mr. Teavee: [has just seen chocolate transported by television] So, can you send other things? Say, like, breakfast cereal?
Willy Wonka: Do you have any idea what breakfast cereal's made of? It's those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners.
Charlie Bucket: But could you send it by television if you wanted to?
Willy Wonka: Course I could.
Mike Teavee: What about people?
Willy Wonka: Well, why would I wanna send a person? They don't taste very good at all.
Mr. Bucket: Your mum and I thought, maybe you want to open your birthday present, tonight.
Mrs. Bucket: Here you are.
Charlie Bucket: Maybe I should wait till morning.
Grandpa George: Like hell.
Mr. Bucket: Pop.
Grandpa Joe: All together we're 381 years old. We don't wait.
Veruca Salt: Will Violet always be a blueberry?
Willy Wonka: No. Maybe. I dunno. But that's what you get from chewing gum all day, it's just disgusting.
Mike Teavee: If you hate gum so much, why do you make it?
Willy Wonka: Once again you really shouldn't mumble, 'cause it's kinda starting to bum me out.
Mr. Salt: [after the Oompa Loompas sing and dance] I do say, that all seemed rather rehearsed.
Violet Beauregarde: Sounds like my kinda gum.
Mrs. Beauregarde: What do you use Hair Cream for?
Willy Wonka: To lock in moisture. [primps hair]
Shopkeeper: [Surprised] You found Wonka's last golden ticket! In my shop too!
Dr. Wonka: [knowing his son wants to be a chocolatier] Candy is a waste of time. No son of mine is going to be a chocolatier.
Little Willy Wonka: Then I'll run away! To Switzerland! Bavaria! The candy capitals of the world!
Dr. Wonka: Go ahead. But I won't be here when you come back.
Narrator: In the end, Charlie Bucket won a chocolate factory. But Willy Wonka had something even better, a family. And one thing was absolutely certain - life had never been sweeter.