Beverly Hills Cop II Quotes
Sergeant Taggart: Do I really look like Gerald Ford?
Axel Foley: Y'all both look like Gerald Ford!
Axel Foley: 24 hours a day I will be in the car. I will sleep, eat, drink, shit. I will- No, I ain't gonna shit. [laughs] You thought I was gonna really shit. I wouldn't- Wh-what would I look like shitting in the car? I ain't gonna shit. Don't worry about a thing, though. I am on the job. Don't worry about a thing. I'm on the job!
Inspector Todd: THAT'S what I'm afraid of!
Axel Foley: Oh, you mean the construction that's going on. Yes, I'm very embarrassed about that. What I'm trying to do, though, is just confine myself to the other five bedrooms. I'm used to compromising my lifestyle.
Sergeant Taggart: Bullshit! You've stolen this house!
Axel Foley: How the fuck can you steal a house? This...my uncle's house!
Det. Jeffrey Friedman: This is not my office!
Inspector Todd: You're damn right it isn't!
Axel Foley: You just hit a squad car!
Billy Rosewood: I know, I know. It's okay, I know the guy. He's a jerk.
Vinnie: Hey, Ace. I would very much like you to meet Judy. She can suck a golf ball through twenty feet of garden hose. Ain't that right?
Karla Fry: Goodbye, Mr. Foley.
Sergeant Taggart: Women.
[Taggart sees Rosewood take two shotguns and an overcoat out of his trunk]
Sergeant Taggart: Billy, what are you doing?
Billy Rosewood: I've been wanting to wear this for a while, Sarge.
Sergeant Taggart: What are you, nuts? Jesus Christ, Billy! We gotta talk! What the hell is this?
Billy Rosewood: You can never have too much firepower.
Axel Foley: My truck. Here's $50. Put it next to a limo.
[outside the Playboy Mansion]
Billy Rosewood: Sarge? You old bloodhound!
Sergeant Taggart: Billy, isn't this uh...?
Billy Rosewood: Yeah!
Sergeant Taggart: No!
[Axel sees Rosewood with a huge pistol]
Axel Foley: Yo, man! What's that for?
Billy Rosewood: After the shootout at the club, I figured I needed more firepower.
Axel Foley: Yo man, we gotta talk, seriously. Who do you think you are, Clint Eastwood? Dirty Rosewood?
Sergeant Taggart: Fuck Rambo!
Inspector Todd: "Expert tutelage"? What the fuck have you been telling them?
Axel Foley: [about the cement truck Billy got for a pursuit] Well, this is pretty sporty!
Billy Rosewood: Don't complain! It's all I could find!
Axel Foley: Inspector T, how you doin'?
Inspector Todd: Where the fuck you been, Foley? And what the fuck is this?
Axel Foley: It's a blue slip.
Inspector Todd: Wh-what in the hell do you need a thousand dollars for?
Axel Foley: A little flash money.
Inspector Todd: Flash money. Well, let's see here - $2,000 for a suit, $200 for a tie, a requisition order for a Ferrari. I'm don't wanna see any more of these blue slips. When am I gonna see some arrest slips?
Axel Foley: I know that you're getting' upset. And I know that you have reason to be upset. But let me tell you something, chief. I am close, I am so close now. I'm closer than I've been, and it-it's makin' me crazy. 'Cause I can smell it, it's in the air. And I smell it. It's [sniffs] I sm- Do you smell it? 'Cause I smell it.
Inspector Todd: All I smell is your bullshit. For six months, I been pourin' money down a bottomless hole. Where the bad guys at the end of this rainbow?
Axel Foley: Wait a second, look. I just thought, that if there was a problem-
Inspector Todd: Don't think, Axel! It makes my dick itch. The truth is, this department has fronted you a fortune. And my ass is on the line. I okayed all this shit!
Harold Lutz: Have you submitted yourself for drug testing yet?
Sergeant Taggart: [after being ordered to Lutz's office to explain Rosewood's call to the FBI] Can't keep God waiting.
Capt.: I don't want to hear that kind of talk, Sergeant.
Sergeant Taggart: Oh come on, Andy! He's fired every cop who used to work for the old chief! The three of us is all that's left!
Capt.: [curtly] He's still head of this department, Sergeant.
Axel Foley: Hey, man! Take off your glasses. I thought that was you, man! You *almost* got busted, I *did* get busted. I lost my whole investment because of you. Vinnie, what the hell is wrong with you, man? You know I'm a businessman. I got to work!
Axel Foley: You come inside here a half hour late, and on top of all that you gonna bring the goddamn cop with you, too?
Vinnie: What you talking cop? He ain't no cop!
Axel Foley: That's Dirty Harry himself! Man, what the fuck is wrong with you gonna bring him in here?
Carlotta: You calling me a cop?
Axel Foley: You definitely a cop!
Vinnie: He ain't no cop, he's my nephew.
Axel Foley: Well, the dude is definitely bad luck. I don't know what he is to you; he's bad luck to me.
Carlotta: Bad luck? I'll fuckin' tell you what's bad luck. My friend's in a prison body shop fixin' all the cars that he smashed that day 'cause you had to fuck around. This guy's a fuckin' clown.
Axel Foley: Hey, what is- Wait a second.
Carlotta: What the fucking cock you tryin' to get away with?
Axel Foley: I'm checking you for a wire, man.
Carlotta: Get fuckin' outta here.
Vinnie: Oh, hey, hey, hey!
Axel Foley: Why can't I check ya?
Vinnie: [speaking at the same time] Ho, ho, ho! Stop the bullshit. Stop the bullshit! Stop this bullshit. Cut the bullshit. Cut the bullshit right now. Cut the bullshit, man.
Axel Foley: If he ain't a cop, if he ain't wired, why can't I- why can't I frisk him? Why can't- Why won't he let me frisk him, then? Then why can't I frisk him if he ain't got no wire on?
Vinnie: Look, I got 2000 blank American Express cards, right now. Gold. You got the money, you wanna do business or what?
Axel Foley: I have the money and I *do* wanna do business, but with *you*. I ain't doing nothing in front of this dude, 'cause this dude is a cop. I know when I can smell a pig inside the room. I used to be a Muslim, man. And I know that's pork over here. And th- [sniffs] Yes, pork! It's definitely pork. I ain't doin' shit around this dude, man. You wanna do business, you know where to find me. Fuck you, man. Ala oo akba.
[Rosewood runs a red light]
Sergeant Taggart: It's red!
Billy Rosewood: It's green!
[He hits another car]
Billy Rosewood: Oh, yeah, it was red. Okay.
Axel Foley: It was yellow!
Sidney Bernstein: [on the phone] Naturally. I can see- Yeah, yeah. I mean I-I understand. Somebody- W-wait- [off the phone] Oh, oh, oh. Come right in. Don't let the fact that my door's closed dissuade you in any way from entering my office.
Axel Foley: Sir, we're with the Beverly Hills Police Department. Are you Mr. Sidney Bernstein?
Sidney Bernstein: Yes. Lucky guess.
Axel Foley: Well, sir, you have 25 unpaid parking tickets, we have a warrant for your arrest.
Sidney Bernstein: 25? What 25?
Axel Foley: You have 25 unpaid parking tickets, sir.
Sidney Bernstein: I-I pay my tickets. I pay - I pay all my tickets.
Axel Foley: Sir, do you own a Black Mercedes-Benz, License Plates number CRL-507?
Sidney Bernstein: 507? That's my wife's car! That's not my car! That's my-
Axel Foley: You have 25 unpaid parking tickets.
Sidney Bernstein: I mean, it's under my name. But, it's my wife's car! No! No! No![picks up phone; yells] Bitch!
Axel Foley: Your tickets have not been paid, that means you're liable. [to Taggart & Rosewood] Can you cuff Mr. Bernstein, please?
Sidney Bernstein: Cuff me? There are people out there with chainsaws, you're cuffing me!
Axel Foley: Well, sir, you have 25 unpaid parking tickets, and it's your car. So, we have to take you in.
Sidney Bernstein: Wait a second, I've got an idea. Is there something that I have in this office that I could hand to you, and that would make you kind of forget that you're holding those, uh, little pink tickets there?